


Don't You Forget About Me

by Lexi_Lowe



Category: Pitch Perfect (2012)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-10
Updated: 2014-07-29
Packaged: 2018-02-08 05:17:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 32
Words: 51,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1928034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lexi_Lowe/pseuds/Lexi_Lowe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Beca and Jesse have been together since that phenomenal kiss they shared at the end of their freshman year at Barden University.</p><p> When they were headed back to Barden for their sophomore year, they were caught in a wreck. It put Beca in a coma, tearing Jesse to pieces. The doctor said there is a slight chance she will awake but it is not likely, and if she does, the brain damage could cause her to lose her memories.</p><p>Will Beca wake up? If so, will she remember the Bellas, or school, or most importantly, Jesse?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

Prologue

~Beca's P.O.V.~

How can love be summed up into two words? Well for me it's easy, Jesse Swanson. He is the sweetest, kindest guy that I have ever met. Last year, I was in a place where I didn't want to let people in because I thought they would just hurt me but Jesse changed that. All year, he fought to break down my walls and no matter how many times I pushed him away he never backed down. Eventually his nerdy cockiness got under my skin and I let him in. I have never felt happier or safer in my whole life. I am in LOVE with him. But I never got the chance to  
tell him that before he was ripped from my memories almost completely after a devastating wreck.

The last thing I remember is being in Jesse's car and hearing the sounds of busting glass and Jesse yelling my name. It just went black after that.

The darkness started to slowly fade to grey and I could make out the sounds of hospital equipment beeping and the faint sound of Jesse's voice. He was singing a song, our song, 'Don't You' from The Breakfast Club, the only movie I willingly watch. I listen to him loving the sound of his voice. I feel his hands wrap around mine and his lips brush against it. He starts to quietly sob and I want to just wrap him in my arms and tell him it's ok.

Suddenly, the darkness swallowed the grey and Jesse's voice was lost with it. I was screaming on the inside, desperately trying to escape the darkness but it defeated me. My world was completely black, not a sound, not a soul, just darkness. It lasted longer than last time and the longer it lasted the more I felt myself forget.

I tried to remember the one thing that meant the world to me but I felt my memories of Jesse slowly start to deteriorate. I was losing the one thing that kept me alive and I knew I had to wake up before I completely lost him.


	2. The Wreck

*Jesse 's P.O.V.*  
It's awful. It's all I can see. It's all my fault. That wreck should not have happened and would not have if I just kept my eyes on the road.

Beca and I had spent our summer together and it was great. It was the best summer of my life. Time came to go back to Barden for our sophomore year and Beca and I decided to take one car. We loaded our stuff and into the back of my SUV and headed out. We were within a day's distance away from Barden University when it all went down.

I was driving and Beca was in the passenger seat. She was jamming to the 'Road Trip' CD we had made and every now and then I glanced over at her. I smiled when I saw her do a little goofy dance to the music, she's opened up to me quite a bit. Our song, 'Don't You' from The Breakfast Club came on and we both sang along.

"Won't you come see about me? I'll be alone dancing you know it baby." She sang to me then kissed my cheek.

I turned my head to look at her and it happened. She was the first to see it.

"JESSE, WATCH OUT!!" She yelled.

I looked back at the road just in time to see a semi heading straight for us. I noticed the driver start to frantically spin his steering wheel at the same time I spun mine. My car turned but it wasn't enough. The semi was now headed toward Beca's side and I yelled her name as I tried to get her out of the seat but it was too late. The semi collided with the car ripping Beca from my grip. We started twirling in the road then it came to a sudden stop as it hit the rail on the side of the highway. The impact was so forceful that it caused Beca's head to slam into the already cracked window busting it completely out. Beca went unconscious and I could feel myself start to do the same. I wiped the blood from my eyes and tried to reach for her. I was to weak to move and it got harder and harder to stay awake. Eventually, everything went black.

I slowly woke up. The light burned my eyes for a minute until they adjusted. I saw a fireman pulling me out of the car and lay me on a gurney. A group of paramedics rushed over to me. One put an oxygen mask around my head as I watched another group of paramedics tend to Beca. I couldn't quite hear over all of the ruckus but I was able to make out what one of them said.

"The brain damage is to severe. If we don't get her out of here now there will be no chance of saving her."

I started to freak out. I wanted nothing more than to be by her side.

"Beca." I said weakly.

"Did you say something?" the paramedic patching up my arm asked.

I slowly nodded.

He pulled the oxygen mask off my face and asked me to repeat myself.

"Beca." I said again.

"Is that your name?".

I shook my head and pointed at the other gurney that was now making its way into the ambulance truck.

"It's her name?" He asked.

I nodded.

"What's her last name?"

"Mitchell." I replied.

"John, she has been identified. Look up a Beca Mitchell and find her records!" the paramedic yelled at one of the other paramedics rolling Beca onto the truck.

John gave him a thumbs up and the paramedic turned his attention back to me.

"Thanks son, you just made our job a lot easier. What's your name?" He asked.

"Jesse Swanson."

He nodded and wrapped the oxygen back around my head making it easier to breathe. He started to fill a needle with a vial of something.

"Mr. Swanson, I'm Joe Lawrence. You are in pretty bad shape right now and I'm trying to save your life. To do this, I need you to save your energy. To ensure you do this, I will be injecting you with a very strong sedative. You will fall asleep and not wake up until much later." He explained then shoved the needle in my arm.

I watched the liquid as it disappeared into my arm then my eyelids immediately became heavy. They kept getting heavier and heavier until I couldn't hold them open any longer.


	3. Aftermath

This will continue being in Jesse's P.O.V. until further notice.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"How is he?"

"He's got a few broken bones, a couple of deep cuts that needed stitches, and a mild concussion. I have prescribed him some oxycodone. It's a very strong painkiller, the strongest next to morphine. Give it to him twice a day everyday for ten days and he'll be good as new in no time."

I heard my mom and the doctor talking as I slowly awoke. I still felt pretty groggy from the sedative so I just lied in the bed with my eyes closed, not really focusing on anything in particular. Then my mom said something that immediately caught my attention and alerted me. I stayed in the same position as I listened to the conversation.

"What about his girlfriend, Beca Mitchell?" My mom asked.

There was a moment of dead silence. It was so quiet you could hear a pen drop. Then the doctor spoke.

"Maybe we should finish this conversation outside. I don't want to disturb your son. He needs all of the rest he can get."

I then heard the door open....then close. I immediately went to go move when a sudden pain pierced through my body. I grunted a little but not enough for the doctor and my mom to hear. I looked down at myself and saw a complete mess of what I'm pretty sure is my body.

I'm in a hospital gown that stops about halfway down my thighs. The right side of the gown is hiked up and propped over a full leg cast. My left arm is in some kind of little splint and I can feel the stitches on my forehead. I lift the gown up a little to reveal a couple marks where they must have had to shock me to kick start my heart. I also see a long cut down my chest that has been stitched back up. Pain is shooting through me faster than country boys on steak and gravy day but I push it out of my mind and slowly stand up from the bed.

I grabbed the pole that the I.V. hangs on for support then pulled the suction cups things of my head and chest along with the clip on my finger. This caused the heart beat monitor to draw a flat line and let off this God awful squealing sound that made my head hurt worse. I slowly made my way to the door when the doctor and my mom burst into the room.

"Jesse!" My mom yelled, relieved to see me standing instead of dead.

"Mr. Swanson, you have to get back in bed you are not strong enough to be walking yet. That will put stress on you and your heart can't handle that kind of stress right now." the doctor said.

He carefully grabbed my arm and tried to lead me back to the bed but I snatched it away from him.

"Where's Beca?" I asked.

"Come on, get back in the bed." the doctor continued.

"I'm not moving until I know where Beca is!" My voice started to raise out of frustration.

Tears immediately welled up in my eyes at the doctor's avoiding of my question. If he would rather avoid it then say it then it can't be good.

"Honey, if you get back into the bed then Dr. Stevens here will tell you everything you need to know." My mom bargained.

I looked at her and thought for a moment before agreeing. She and the doctor quickly but carefully grabbed my arms and lead me back to the bed. They helped me get positioned into the upright position.

"Ok, I'm good. Now tell me." I said once I was as comfortable as a guy who was just in a wreck could get.

"Do you need anything else?" My asked trying distract me.

"What I need is for you two to grow pair and tell me where my girlfriend is!" I snapped scaring my mom a little.

"I'm sorry, I'm frustrated. In case you haven't noticed, I haven't had a good day. Now please just tell me where Beca is, you promised mom." I calmed myself.

"You're right sweety. Go ahead Dr. Stevens. Tell him the...news."

The doctor looked at my mom then me. He took a deep breath then began talking.

"Mr. Swanson, Beca Mitchell has been placed on the third floor of this hospital building." He started.

I was confused at first then I remembered what floor that was.

"No." I said under my breath as the tears began to leak down my face.

"I'm sorry but Beca has fallen into a coma that I'm almost 99% certain there will be no waking up from."


	4. Guilt

"So you're saying there's still a 1% chance that she'll make it?" I asked trying to control the tears.

"Yes, but it would be quite stupid to hold on to that sliver of hope." Well that was rude and I gave him a look to show it.

"I don't mean it as in your stupid I just mean don't get your hopes up son. You're being very optimistic about something that has more of a chance to never happen than anything else. I sent pictures of her catscan to the best doctors out there and they all came back positive that she won't make it. The brain damage is just to serious. If it continues getting worse or if she doesn't wake up with in the next month or so we will have to pull the plug, family consent or not. Company rules."

"So what if she does wake up? What will happen?" I asked ignoring his death comments.

"If say such a miracle were to happen there is a list of things that can happen to her."

"Like what?"

"Well; she can become mentally challenged, paralyzed, crazy, and many more but there is one thing that is the most common and the worst for the loved ones."

"What?" I asked.

The doctor stayed silent as he searched my face to see if I was sure I wanted to know.

"Don't hold back on me now Doc."

"She can have memory loss."

I didn't expect that answer.

"How far will it go back to?"

"It's hard to say. It varies with the person and amount of damage. She may forget the last few weeks, months, or even years."

"So if she wakes up, she might not remember me? Remember us?"

"I'm afraid not."

I slumped back into the bed as I soaked all this up. I can't believe this happened. I get off with a few broken bones and cuts but Beca gets put into a coma? What kind of twisted fate is that?

Just then the doctor's pager went off pulling me from my thoughts.

"I'm sorry but I have to go. I will be back later to check up on you and son," the doctor stopped at the door and looked back at me, " I really am sorry about your girlfriend."

I nodded at him and he left. All of this information piled on top of all the guilt I'm feeling is just to overwhelming and I cracked.

"Mom." I called for my mom as I began sobbing.

She quickly wrapped me in her arms and rubbed my head just as she used to do when I was younger.

"It's all my fault. If I would've just watched the road Beca wouldn't be in this terrible position. I'm so stupid."

"Honey, you're not stupid and this isn't your fault. It could've happened to anyone." My mom tried comforting me.

"But it didn't! It happened to me! I love Beca so much, I always told myself I'd never do anything to hurt her but now look where we're at. Not only did I hurt her but I practically killed her."

My mom pulled my face up to look her in the eyes. She held my cheeks between her forefinger and thumb.

"Now you listen to me and you listen to me good. This is not your fault Jesse and that girl is not dead. As far as I'm concerned 99% is just a number. You two have the type of love that can break through anything. Your love is stronger than the glue holding this building up. Now, she will wake up and you will get your girl. If she does lose her memory, you have to promise me that you will do everything in your power to make her remember. Got it?"

I nodded.

"Ok, good. Now, I'm going to go get your medication and call your father to let him now you're ok. You be good and keep those nasty thoughts out of your head, they are filthy viruses and I will not stand for that crap." She said then left the room leaving me to sit and sulk all by my lonesome.

~A Week Later~

My dad came back from his business trip in China to visit me the day after the accident. It's now 4 days after the accident and my father's words are still twirling around in my head.

'Love conquers all' is what he had said. I know I love Beca but she never told me how she felt about me. How am I supposed to know if she loves me or not?

These thoughts kept running through my head until a knock on the door pulled me from them.

"Hey honey." I heard my mom's voice.

She's been here everyday for the last week and each time she walks through that door with the same greeting it still makes me happy.

"Hi mom." I said as she walked into the room.

"So the doctor said you can leave today. He has to do one last checkup though."

"Great." I said.

I can tell she was searching for the right thing to say to lift my spirits. After a minute, a little smile grew on her face.

"He also said that Beca is allowed to have visitors now."

I immediately looked at her.

"And he knows you want to be her first....visitor." She continued.

"Really?" I said with a huge smile on my face.

She nodded just as the doctor walked into the room.

"Good afternoon Mrs. Swanson. I see you told Jesse the news." He said with a bit of a smirk.

"When can I go?" I asked.

"After I finish this checkup. Now, follow my finger with your eyes." He said then started moving his finger in different patterns.

He continued do little tests until, after 10 minutes, the checkup was done.

"Ok, your good. Now continue taking your medication until it's gone and if you have any problems come back immediately. Any questions?"

"No."

"Great. You're free to leave. Check out at the desk." He said then left the room.

"Go on upstairs and visit Beca. I'll check you out." My mom said.

I hugged her then quickly changed into my clothes and went upstairs.


	5. Seeing Her Part One

"Hurry up." I say to the elevator who is taking forever to close its doors.

The doors were an inch from closing when suddenly I saw a hand push through the crack causing the doors to open again. I let out a long sigh as a woman and a little girl stepped inside the elevator.

"You're Jesse Swanson, right?" the woman asked.

I was shocked by her sudden question, how does she know who I am?

"Uh, yeah." I answered with a tone that showed how confused I was.

"I'm so sorry about what happened."

"Um, how do you know...any of this?" I asked.

"Haven't you turned on the news lately?" she asked and I shook my head no.

"Your accident is all over the news. They said they haven't seen brain damage as bad as Beca's since, well, ever."

Suddenly, the elevator doors slid open revealing the second floor.

"Well, good luck. I hope she wakes up." the lady said then got off.

"Me too." I said to myself as I watched her through the closing doors.

After a minute, the elevator doors opened once again reavealing the scenery of the third floor. I walked out and into the hall. It was eerily quiet except for the murmurs of people talking as I limped passed them.

"Uh, excuse me. Can you tell me what room Beca, I mean, Rebeca Mitchell, is in?" I asked the lady at the desk.

"Sure Mr. Swanson." the lady said then typed something into her computer. 

I looked around as I waited. People tried their best not to look at me. What is their deal? Haven't they ever seen someone survive a wreck?

"Ok, she is in room 309." the lady pulled me from my thoughts.

"Thanks."

"Your welcome." she said then I started to walk away.

"Oh, and Jesse!" I stopped to look at her. "Good luck." I nodded then slowly limped off to Beca's room.

I laid my hand lightly against the doorknob. I am having second thoughts about this. What if she passes away while I'm in there? What if I start crying? I can't do that because then I'll never stop. I pulled my hand off the knob and turned to leave.

"Where do you think you're going?" I heard a familiar voice.

I turned around to see Stacie.

"Stace-" she cut me off.

"Don't tell me you're leaving. You haven't even gone in yet."

"I-I can't. I thought I could but-"

"But nothing. Jesse you have to go in there."

"But, it hurts."

"I know it does but it will only get worse if you don't see her."

I didn't say anything, I just listened as Stacie kept talking.

"Jesse, you are the one person Beca loves most in this world. She would talk about you all the time. Everyday this summer, after you guys hung out, Beca would call me up and tell me every gruesome detail of what happened. Granted, she didn't come right out and say 'I love Jesse', that's not who she is but you know what? She didn't have to. It's just the way she talked about you, that glow she would get when you were in the room, or that huge smile she got when you sang, that's what would give it away."

We both chuckled a little and Stacie got closer to me. She put her hands on my shoulders and looked me straight in the eyes.

"I know this is hard Jesse but Beca needs you. If there's any chance of her waking up, she will need the man that she loves by her side."

" Let me guess, because love conquers all."

"Exactly!!"

"Nice try but looking at everything that's happened these past few days, I don't think love really lives up to its expectations." I said then turned around only for her to yank me back around to face her.

"Are you kidding me, Jesse?! Nobody said love is easy. Love is something you have to fight to get then you have to continue fighting to keep it. Take last year as an example. Beca kept pushing you away but you didn't let that stop you, did you?"

"No, but this is different. There was a good chance that I could get her to let me in. There's a bad chance that this time, I'm gonna lose her."

"It doesn't matter about chance, Jesse! It matters about love. Last year you fought to break down her barriers and she fought herself to help break down those barriers! Jesse. If the situations were reversed, do you think she'd abandon you?"

"They're not."

"What if they were?"

"Doesn't matter cuz they're not."

"Jesse! Just answer the question! Would she abandon you?"

She looked pretty angry so I decided to answer.

"No. No, she wouldn't."

"That's right. She'd fight for you and do you know why?"

"I don't know, because she loves me?"

"Yes. Because she loves you and because she believes that love can conquer all."

She paused for a moment then continued to speak in a much calmer tone this time.

"Jesse, not only do you need to do this for Beca but you need to do it for yourself. I know you and I know you can't live with the agony of not knowing. You need closure and this is the only way to get it."

I looked down at the floor and we both fell silent.

"Thank you, Stace." I broke the silence then pulled her into a hug.

"Your welcome." She said and hugged me for a little longer.

"Ok, go see your girl so the rest of us can." She said as she pulled herself out of my arms.

"Remember, love conquers all." She said with a smile then sauntered off to the elevator.

Once again I laid my hand on the doorknob. I took a deep breath then slowly turned it. The door slowly opened and I stopped it when it revealed Beca. The moment I laid my eyes on her my whole body went weak then my knees buckled underneath me. I dropped to the floor and did the one thing I didn't want to do the most.

I cried.


	6. Seeing Her Part Two

I cried for a few more minutes until a nurse walked by.

"Sir, are you ok?" She asked.

I stopped crying and wiped my tears away.

"I'm fine." I said then cleared my throat before pulling myself up.

I slowly closed the door then leaned against it. I stared at the ceiling and let the light from the bulbs burn the rest of the tears away. When I felt strong enough to hold the tears back I took a deep breath then slowly looked down at Beca's unconscious body.

"I-I don't know i-if you can hear me Bec." I stumbled over the words as I slowly inched closer to her bed. "B-but, I love you. I know I didn't tell you that before because I-I was afraid you'd freak out then shut me out but I'm telling you now. Pl-please stay with me." I am halfway across the room. "This isn't the way I pictured me telling you b-but I have to tell you now just in case-" I cut the sentence off as I stopped at her bedside, the words were just to hard to say.

Even though she was covered in bruises, stitches, and casts and her hair was all mangled into one big mess , she is still the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.

I slowly lowered myself into the chair beside her bed and wrapped her hand in mine. It's a tiny hand but it fits into mine perfectly as if it were made just for me. I couldn't think of anything else to say so I just sang to her.

"Won't you come see about me? I'll be alone dancing you know it baby."

After singing the first line I noticed her heartbeat jumped a little. I smiled at her recognition of my voice and continued to sing our song to her, Beca style.

"Tell me your troubles and doubts, giving me everything inside and out. Don't you forget about me. As I walk on by, will you call my name(4x)? I say la lalalala lalalala lalalalalalala." I finished just a nurse walked in.

"Sorry sir but visiting hours are over now. You can come back tomorrow though. It's from noon to 10p.m." She said as she checked the monitors that were connected to Beca.

"Thank you." I said as I gently set her hand back down on the bed.

Before leaving, I carefully placed a light kiss on Beca' s forehead then another on her lips. I thanked the nurse one last time then left the room.

*Parking Lot*

I found my mother just sitting in her car. I slid into the passenger seat and caught her attention.

"So, how was it?" She asked.

"Ok, I guess. I saw Stacie."

"I know."

I gave her a look of confusion.

"I called her. I knew you would try to back out but I wouldn't have it. I know I can't convince you and the only person I've seen that can is in a coma so I called the next best person. I know you two aren't very close but I also know she's Beca' s best friend and that's enough to make you wanna listen to her." She explained as she stared out the windshield.

"Thank you mom. I'm glad you called her, she really opened my eyes. I needed to see her, I needed to see both of them. It was hard seeing Beca like that but it gave me closure." She looked at me for a moment before wrapping me into a hug.

We didn't say a word. We just sat in each other's arms until her phone went off. She pulled away and answered it.

"Hello." I watched as she listened to the person on the other end.

"Ok. Thank you. See you tomorrow." She said then hung up.

"That was Coomes. Your car is gone but your luggage is fine. We'll pick it up tomorrow on our way to the university."

I nodded at her then buckled up.

"Alright. Let's go home." She said then started the car and drove off.

*Jesse's House*

I can't sleep. I'm lying in my bed staring up the ceiling. My thoughts keep traveling back to Beca back to when she was awake and joyful. The more I think about it the more it hurts because I know there's a pretty good chance I'm never going to see that again.

My thoughts get worse as they travel back to that accident. Hearing her yell at me to watch out then the painful screams she let out as her tiny structure was thrown angrily around the car.

Then I remember seeing her lying in that bed in a deep sleep she may never wake up from. My heart felt like it had been ripped from my chest the moment I saw her. I can't believe I let this happen. I can't believe I put my own girlfriend in a coma.

Suddenly my phone rang, scaring me to death. I picked it up to see Stacie on the caller I.D. (J=Jesse S=Stacie)

J- Hey Stace.  
S- Hey. How are you holding up?  
J- It hurts. I miss her.  
S- I know but it'll be ok.  
J- You know this is the first time in weeks, minus the time in the hospital, that I've been in bed alone?  
S- Woah. TMI Jess.  
I chuckled a little.  
J- Not like that. We haven't...  
S- I know. Beca would've told me if you did.  
J- Ya. So how are you doing?  
S- Well, it's hard but I can't imagine it's as hard for me as it is you.  
It was quiet for a minute.  
S- I saw her today after you left. She looks terrible.  
J- I begged a differ.  
I could tell she was smiling.  
S- Well you'd say that even if she looked like someone meshed Nicki Minaj and Kellie Ousbourne together.  
J- True.  
S- Ok, I should let you get some sleep. You've got a lot of traveling tomorrow. Besides, my roommate won't be happy if I don't go to sleep. Goodnight, Jess.  
J- Night Stace and thank you.  
S- You're welcome.

The line went dead. I hung up and rolled over. I feel better now that I've talked about it, maybe I can actually get some sleep.


	7. Back to School

"Wow, how did this stuff not get crushed with the car?" My mom asked the Coomes employee.

We are watching this man pull our boxes out of my car. I'm quite surprised myself. If you could see this car you would understand why.

"When this car was hit it didn't affect the back. The boxes jerked around a little but the impact wasn't forceful enough to bother them. The front is a different story though, if anybody was sitting in this passenger seat it would be a miracle if they lived to tell about it." the man said and I grabbed boxes and began putting them into my mom's car.

"What's his problem?" I heard the man ask my mom.

"His girlfriend was in the passenger seat of this car, she's in a coma and the doctors don't think she's gonna make it." My mom answered.

"Oh I'm so sorry, if I would've known I wouldn't have said that." the man apologized to me as I reentered the room.

"It's ok, can we stop talking about this now and get these boxes into the car. We have to be at Barden by 4." I said then continued loading the boxes into the car.

~

"Ok, call me if you need anything." My mom said after we loaded my things into my dorm. "Bye sweety."

"Bye mom." I said then closed the door behind her. I looked around the room that was half Star Wars and half plain then took a seat on my bed.

After a minute I decided it was time to start unpacking. I have to be careful because these boxes aren't marked and I might open up one that belongs to Beca. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes before opening up one of the boxes sitting beside me on my bed. I slowly opened my eyes and peered at the contents of the box.....my clothes.

I put my clothes in the corresponding places in my dorm then without thinking, I tore into another box and my heart sank. The box had girl clothing in it, Beca's clothing. My knees became weak and I dropped down onto my bed. I stared at the box for a moment.

I pulled the shirt that was laying on top out of the box. I stared at it and the memory of the first day I saw her wearing this shirt played in my head. It was our first day at the radio station. I remembered how her face looked when Luke told us no sex on the desk and the way her eyes quickly fluttered up to meet mine when I called her beautiful.

I set the shirt down on my bed and went back to the box. I pulled another shirt out and something fell onto my bed. I replaced the shirt in the box and looked at what had fallen. It was a picture frame containing a picture of me and Beca at her dad's house for a family outing. She had brought me along so she wouldn't be as bored. We look so happy in this picture. I'm kissing her cheek and she's got this big beautiful smile on her face.

"Hey, Jess." Benji pulled me out of my head. "We're having a Treble meeting."

"Ok, I'm coming." I carefully put the picture back into the box and followed Benji down to the Treble house.

~

When we arrived at the Treble house all if the guys were debating something very loudly.

"Guys, guys!!" Benji yelled and they all shut up and looked at us.

"So what's this meeting for?" I asked. I saw Bumper appear from the group of guys.

"Bumper wants back in. We voted and we have a tie we need you, our leader, to break that tie." Benji explained. "Yes or no?"

This is a big decision to load onto me right now. I think for a minute. We do need the extra help though and he does have a good voice. He won't need training since he's been through this before.

"Yes but only because we need the help but cross us once and you're out." I said. Bumper looked like a little girl as he jumped for joy. I ignored him and took a seat on the couch, getting lost in my head again.

"We need some music!!" Bumper said as he fiddled with his iPod. He found a song and connected it to the iPod dock, the room fell silent as I immediately recognized the drum beat then the words.

"Oh where, oh where, can my baby be?

The Lord took her away from me.

She's gone to heaven so I got to be good,

so I can see my baby when I leave this world.

We were out on a date in my daddy's car,

we hadn't driven very far.

There in the road straight ahead,

a car was stalled, the engine was dead.

I couldnt' stop, so I swerved to the right,

I'll never forget the sound that night.

The screaming tires, the busting glass,

the painful scream that I heard last." I heard Eddie Vedder's (lead singer of Pearl Jam) voice boom through the speakers. I didn't hear the chorus that I knew all too well because I quickly jumped up and, with tears in my eyes, I ran for my dorm.

*Benji's P.O.V.*

"What the h*ll is his problem?" Bumper asked after Jesse ran out the house, I could see the tears in his eyes.

"Why did you play that song?" I asked Bumper.

"It's a good song. Why? What's wrong?"

"Do you remeber Beca?" I asked,

"The hot and slutty brunette from the Bellas?" he asked.

"No, the hot brunette with all the dark make up and those huge headphones always hanging around her neck." Donald interjected.

"From the Bellas?" Bumper asked.

"Yes, Bumper. She's one of the Bellas." I said.

"Then yes, I remeber her. Why?"

"She's Jesse's girlfriend, or at least was. Her and Jesse were headed up here when a semi rammed into their car. Beca's in a coma and the doctors say there a 99% chance she will not wake up."

Bumper's expression immediately dropped. "O-oh my God. Why didn't I hear about this?"

I just shrugged my shoulders.

"Ok guys, let's practice a little." I said.

~

When I got back to my dorm after pratice I noticed that Jesse wasn't there. He left me a note on our mini fridge.

Benji,

Went to the hospital to see Beca. Be back soon.

Jesse

I threw the sticky note away and grabbed a soda from the fridge. As I bent over to reach inside the fridge I saw a picture frame on Jesse's nightstand. I never noticed it before and when I took a closer look I realized it's not his picture. It was the picture that I had taken for Beca at her family outing over the summer.

I know what you're thinking, why was I at Beca's family get together? Well, the answer is easy. We are family friends, our dad's have known each other since high school.

I picked the frame up and looked at the picture. A smile formed on my face as I remebered the day I took this. I looked at it for a minute more then replaced it on Jesse's nightstand. I flopped onto my bed and began typing an essay for Dr. Mitchell's class.


	8. Two Months Later

It's been 2 months since the accident and I've been slowly getting through life. Living without Beca is hard, she was always the one that lit up my life. She was the reason I would wake up in the morning and now that she's not here, it's been hard. I've missed some of my classes because I don't see the point of getting out of bed unless it's to go see her at the hospital.

I've visited her everyday that is available and to the normal eye she looks ten times better. Most of the cuts and bruises have disappeared and a few of her bones have healed. According to the educated eye though, she really hasn't gotten better or worse, she's pretty much stayed neutral.

Dr. Stevens keeps us updated on her medical examinations. He said that her brain damage is slowly starting to heal but it's not raising her life expectancy. He still expects her to die and I think everyone has given up hope as well with the exception of me. In fact, last month Dr. Stevens was going to pull the plug on Beca but I fought for her...alone. I'm not saying nobody else loves her but they've all given up hope. I used the old 'guilty but loving boyfriend' card to persuade Dr. Stevens into giving her at least one more month.

~

I'm at the Treble house leading the guys in some vocal warm ups when I hear my phone go off. I motion for the guys to continue as I answer it.

"Hello." I said as I put my finger in my other ear to try and block out some of the sound.

"Is this Jesse Swanson?" I heard a woman's voice.

"Yes and this is....?"

"I'm Sarah with the Hospital of Atlanta (A/N Idk the hospital in Atlanta's real name so I made this one up) I was told to inform you that a Beca Mitchell has woken up b-"

I didn't care what else she had to say as I cut her off and quickly said, "I'm on my way." then hung up.

The guys had stopped singing and gave me weird looks.

"Beca' s awake." I said then rushed for the door. I told them that Benji was in charge as I slammed the door then jumped into my new SUV.

~

"Where is she? Where's Beca?" I asked as I ran into the hospital, out of breath.

"Jesse." I heard Dr. Stevens and my head quickly snapped toward him. "This way." He said then gestured down the hall. "This is truly a miracle, I never would've predicted she'd wake up."

"God works in mysterious ways."

"And sometimes that's a problem." He said as we stopped in front of a door that I'm assuming leads to the room Beca has been moved to.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I fear the worst has happened." I just gave him a blank look.  
"Did the nurse not tell you over the phone?" I shook my head and he sighed before speaking. "Beca has memory loss."

It felt like my heart had dropped to my stomach. I was really hoping this wouldn't happen, Beca forgetting about herself and us is the worst possible scenario that I could play in my head.

"How do you know? I mean, how can you tell for sure?" I asked.

"We ran some tests."

"How far does it go back?"

"We don't know, the tests don't reveal that. This is where we need her loved ones. You have to ask her questions about her life and see what she remembers. Poke around in her brain but be subtle about it, she doesn't remember what happened and that's not uncommon among coma victims." He looked at me for a moment before continuing. "Jesse, she needs you the most. If she doesn't remember your love and it's as real as you say it is, that just might be the memory she needs to trigger the rest of them. Don't give up on her, if you want the Beca you used to know you have to make her remember."

It was quiet for a moment.

"Do you think you can do this, Jesse?" I thought for a moment longer then nodded at him. He turned the doorknob, "Good luck." He said then pushed the door open.

I immediately saw a very conscious Beca sitting Indian style on the bed. She had her head in her hands and looked frustrated, I'd be frustrated too if I lost my memories.

"Bec?" I said softly as the door closed behind me. She slowly looked up at me, confusion written all over her face.

"Jesse?" She said almost questioningly. She remembered my name, that's good. Now does she remember us? Time to find out.

I didn't say anything, I just quickly wrapped her in my arms. She was shocked but she gave in and wrapped her arms around me lightly, she's never been one for hugging. I pulled away and looked into her eyes, slowly inching closer.


	9. Where Am I?

*Beca's P.O.V.*

Where am I? It's too quiet to be the university. Why does mouth feel so weird? It's like I haven't had anything in it in forever. Why do I feel so weak? I've never felt weak.

There are so many questions running through my head as I slowly awoke. When my eyes adjusted to the light I slowly began to sit up when a piercing pain ripped through my chest. I let out a groan of pain as I fell back onto the bed. I waited for the pain to dissapppear before I began pulling myself up again, more carefully this time.

When I was propped up against my pillow I got a look at my surroundings. It was a plain room with a chair and a bunch of medical equpiment beside the bed, I'm obviously in a hospital room. I looked down at my body to see that I'm in one of those hideous hospital gowns and I have lots of medical equipment attached to me through needles and suction cup things. What the h*ll happened? Suddenly, the door opened and I jerked sending that piercing pain through my chest again.

"Hello Beca." a lady in a nurse's outfit said as she walked toward the medical equipment sitting beside me. About halfway to the equipment she stopped in her tracks and gave me a look of astonishment. "Beca." she repeated my name, "You're awake." 

"Uh, yeah. Am I not supposed to be?" I asked showing my confusion. Instead of answering she just ran out of the room. Seconds later she came back with an older looking man that I assumed was a doctor.

"I told you." the nurse said as she gestured toward me.

"Oh my God." the doctor said seeming as astonished as the nurse. "I can't believe this. How do you feel, Beca?"

"Fine, I guess." I aswered still feeling confused. "I have a weird pain in my chest though."

"This is a miracle." the doctor said obviously ignoring my answer.

"Can someone please tell me what's going here?!" I partially yelled grabbing the doctor's attention.

"Oh, right. Beca, you are in the hospital." I gave him a 'duh' look before speaking.

"Do they give those Ph. D's to just anyone these days? I know I'm in a hospital, any half-brained dimwit can see that. Can you tell me why I'm in here?" I replied sounding pretty snippy with the frustration building up.

"You don't remember?"

"Yes doc, I remember everything, I'm asking you just for the h*ll of it." I said sounding more sarcastic than I inteneded. The doctor just shook his head at me as he scribbled something into his stack of papers. After calming down a little I asked, "Why do you seem so surprised?" 

"You have been in a coma, Miss Mitchell." the doctor said as he began checking my vital signs. I was taken back by his response and it rendered me speechless.

"W-what happened?" I asked when I gained control over my tongue again. The doctor finished all of his little tests before he answered my question. He put his stethoscope back around his neck and looked at me as he spoke.

"You will have to wait for Jesse to answer your non-medical related questions. Now your vitals signs seem ok, you're breathing correctly and your heart is in a normal pattern. Your brain was slowly healing while you were asleep and now that you're awake it will most likely heal slower. There's a few things I still have to get figured out but you will be released soon." he explained then headed for the door.

"Wait, why do I have to wait for Jesse?" I asked but the doctor didn't answer me. He just walked out of the room leaving me all by my lonesome. I let out sigh of frustration then dropped my head into my hands. As I repeatedly raked my hands through my hair I could feel scars that never used to be there. Whatever put me in that coma doesn't seem to have been just a little thing.

Suddenly, the door opened again but I didn't move until I heard that familiar voice that sends shivers down my spine everytime I hear it.

"Bec."

I looked up at the guy whom the voice belongs to.

"Jesse." I said surprised to him here even though the doctor said he'd be coming, I didn't think he would actually come.

Next thing I know, Jesse has me wrapped tightly but gently in his arms. I'm not much of one for hugging but when I realized this wouldn't be just a quick 'nice-to-see-you' hug I gave in and lighlty place my hands on his back. When he let go of me he looked into my eyes and I could see him slowly start to inch his head torward mine.

"What the h*ll are you doing?"


	10. What!?

*Beca' s P.O.V.*

As I rested my hands on Jesse's chest to stop him from getting any closer, I saw that all too familiar look in his eyes. It was the same look he had from the first time I stopped him from kissing me. He looked hurt and I don't know why. Why does he want this to happen between us? Why is he choosing me of all people? I can't just let people in my life, I can't get hurt like that again, why can't he just see that?

"You don't remember." He said quietly as he slumped into the chair by my bed.

"I don't remember what?" I asked. He didn't answer, he just put his head in his hand and stared at the floor. "Jesse." He looked up at me, "What don't I remember?" He looked at me for a moment then gave me an answer I didn't expect to hear.

"You're my girlfriend, Beca."

I laughed a little, "You're kidding right?" I asked but the look on his face gave me my answer and I immediately became serious. "That can't be true. I promised myself I wouldn't have a boyfriend, that I wouldn't get hurt again."

"I know, I know but you have changed, Beca. You made 9 new girl friends and after a lot of fighting for it you finally gave me a chance."

"Wha-why? I am so confused!" I said then ran my hand through my hair.

"Beca, what's the last thing you remember?" Jesse asked. I looked up at the ceiling in thought.

"Uh, being in the police car after the window incident at regionals."

"Wow, it's worse that I thought." He said under his breath but I still heard it. "Ok, it's 2014 now, Bec. We finished freshman year and we are now sophomores at Barden." Jesse explained.

"What? No. This can't be right, we still had a little over a half a year." I argued and Jesse just shook his head at me. I took a deep breath to calm my nerves. "What put me in that coma?" I asked.

"A car accident. We were headed back to Barden when a semi crashed into us."

"How long was I out?"

"Little over two months."

"Two months?!!" That's a great deal of time. "If it was only two months then why don't I remember the past year?" I asked trying to understand all of this.

"Your brain was damaged. It caused you to have memory loss." He answered. Now I get it.

"Will I ever remember?"

"It's possible." Jesse then it went quiet.

"So how am I supposed to remember?" I asked when I couldn't stand the silenclr any longer.

"Your friends, family, and I have to gradually pull all of those memories back up."

"How do you plan to do that?"

"You'll all of the things you used to do. You'll go back to being a Bella and I will go back to trading witty banter with you then when the time' s right I'll take you out t-"

"Woah!" I cut him off. "The Bellas I can handle but a boyfriend? I don't know. Like I said, I can't risk getting hurt."

Jesse took a long breath before standing up. He then placed his hands on either side of me and looked me in the eyes, our faces just inches away.

"I am NOT going to hurt you, Beca. I spent our entire freshman year fighting for you to let down your walls and let me in. You just kept pushing people away but I never gave up on you. I kept fighting until the end. I wasn't willing to lose you then and I'm sure as h*ll not going to now. Now matter what God throws our way I will never stop fighting for you." He said and I saw his eyes get glassy as he spoke. "I love you, Beca Mitchell and some stupid memory loss is not going to change that. I will always love you." He finished then stared into my eyes. I don't know why but I couldn't pull myself to look away. It was like something was drawing me to him.

"Oh my God, it's true! My baby is awake!" My mom yelled and I finally found the strength to tear my eyes away from Jesse. He moved away from my bed and was replaced by my mom. She grabbed my cheeks in her hand, "This is a miracle." She said then wrapped me into a hug.It actually felt good and I hugged her back. After everything Jesse poured onto me I needed my mom.

I heard a quiet 'Bye Bec' then looked up to see Jesse walking out of the room. When the door closed behind him and I couldn't see him through the window anymore I got a weird feeling. It felt as if a piece of me had left with him. Why do I feel like this? Jesse has always just been a friend....sort of.

*Jesse's P.O.V.*

I had to leave otherwise I would have cried and I can't let her see me cry. She doesn't remember us and the way she thinks that I would hurt her. Oh my God it just killed me.

I was really hoping that wouldn't happen but a part of me knew that it was going to and it hurts to see her so confused and frustrated. I've got to do everything in my power to help her get her memory back. I promised my mother and myself but most importantly I owe it to Beca. I promised I would always take care of her but I got her into this mess so I it's my job to get her out of it.

When I got back to my dorm I began making a list of normal Beca things to do and I worked on it for the rest of the day. By 12:30 a.m. I was still working on it. I finally decided to call it a night then went to bed.

These next few weeks or so are going to be long. I have to help Beca remember. Starting from when I bring her home from the hospital tomorrow her days are going to be packed full of everything she used to do on day to day bases. I know that sounds bad but it's doctors orders.

~

I'm sitting in the waiting room waiting for Beca. I'm so anxious that I can't keep my leg from bouncing like crazy. Finally, I see Dr. Stevens and Beca appear by the front counter. I stand up and slowly make my way to them as they talk about something.

"Don't forget to take your medicine everyday, morning and night. And don't strain your brain. I've already called all of your college professors and they agreed to give you time on your assignments." I heard Dr. Stevens say as I stopped beside them. "Any questions?"

"Um, yeah. Just one." Beca said the pointed at me, "Why is he here?"

"He's taking you back to campus."

"What about my stuff?"

"It's already in your dorm. I gathered it from my car before they destroyed it." I answered.

"So, are you going to be with me everyday?" She asked.

"Probably. You have to get back to your everyday routine and I'm part of that routine." I answered. Beca looked at the doctor and he nodded his head at her. She sighed then headed for the exit. "Let's go." She said over her shoulder.

"Good luck, Jesse." Dr. Stevens said. I thanked him then followed Beca.

~

The car ride was silent. Beca stared out of the window the whole ride. I guess I can't blame her. The parts of me that she remembers, we were never really close.

"We're here." I said when I pulled into the Baker Hall part of the university's parking lot. Beca didn't say anything as she climbed out of the car and followed me to her dorm.

I watched Beca examine her dorm before I gave her the key.

"I don't suppose you have forgotten your hatred of movies?" I asked as I leaned against the door frame. She sat on her bed and looked at me.

"Nope. Still hate them."

"Great. We're watching Rocky after our shift at the radio station."

"Why?"

"It's for our movication." I said and she gave me a blank look. "You'll understand when it's time, for now, you should get ready. Classes start in 20. Then you have Bellas rehearsals, radio station shift, and finally, well, you know." I said with a smile then headed for my own dorm.


	11. Luke!!!!

*Luke's P.O.V.*

It's 5 minutes until Beca and Jesse's shift starts and they're still not here. These young couples need to manage their time better. I'm finishing one of the broadcasts when I spot them walk into the room. I can immediately see something is wrong. Over the course of the summer I can't recall a single moment that Beca wasn't wrapped in Jesse's embrace, holding his hand, kissing him or smiling at one of his stupid jokes or cheesy lines. But right now, as I'm watching them work, it seems as though the two are strangers.

I play some music then sit back in my chair and watch them as they work. Beca tries to avoid Jesse in every possible way while Jesse watches her intently. 'Did these two break up?' I can't help the happiness I feel at this thought. Beca is freaking beautiful, why she would be with a guy like Jesse is beyond me and when I heard that they were together I couldn't help the jealousy and anger that built up inside of me.

I pushed it back, telling myself that Jesse's a great guy and it serves me right for not wanting to work to get her because breaking down her walls is just too much work but now that I'm seeing this, I could care less about Jesse's feelings, I just want Beca.

~

Finally, Beca and Jesse's shift is over. I see Beca quickly rush out of the building leaving Jesse and me alone. I take this time as an opportunity to figure out what all of the awkwardness between the two was about.

"Jesse, what was that all about?" I asked as I leaned against the door frame of the booth.

"What was what all about?" He asked as he stopped walking and looked at me.

"Don't play stupid, we both could feel the tension in this room. What's going on with you and Beca?" He sighed and looked away from me before answering.

"There was an accident involving me and Beca. A semi collided into us and Beca was in a coma for 2 months. When she woke up yesterday, she had no memory of the last year, no memory of us." Woah, wasn't expecting that.

"That's bad. I feel for you man but this can't effect your work."

"I have to make her remember, Luke. That's all I care about right now. I don't care if you fire me or if I fail school, it's all worth losing if it means I can bring Beca back." Jesse said. I was considering firing him but after that story, I'm not that heartless.

"I understand. Now go on, I have to get back to work and you have to get to your next class." I said and shooed him out the door.

~

I set up the last playlist for the night and locked up the station before heading out. I've been thinking and now that Jesse has done all of the heavy lifting, getting Beca should be easy. Sure her walls are back up but they'll be easier to break this time. She lost all of her memories of her relationship with Jesse and that helps me in two ways:  
1) All I have to do is replace Jesse so when her memories come back she will remember me as her boyfriend instead of Jesse.  
2) When I get her, since she doesn't remember her and Jesse's relationship I don't have to deal with being compared to him.

This is still twirling around in my head as I knock on Beca' s door. Some fat blonde answers.

"Uh, hi. I'm Luke, a friend of Beca' s, i-is she here?" I asked.

"You just missed her." the girl answers with an Australian accent.

"Do you know where she's at?"

"Probably at Jesse's." I was confused as to why she'd be there but I thanked the girl and headed to Jesse's dorm.

~

I'm standing in front of Jesse's dorm and I can hear him and Beca' s voices on the other side of the door. I lay my hand in the doorknob but quickly pull it back off. How am I going to pull this off? What if Jesse gets in the way? I should've thought this through more but there's no time now. I heard the word remember come from Beca' s mouth and since her remembering can't be good for me right now, I quickly decided to barge into the room.

"Beca, wait!!!"

*Beca' s P.O.V.*

Jesse wouldn't keep his eyes of me during our shift at the radio station but I can't say I mind. I don't hate him, I actually find him quite cute but I don't know. Whatever we used to have between us, if there was anything, it's gone now but I can't deny that he has wedged himself under my skin a little. 

The minute our shift ended, I ran for the door. As I pushed it open I heard Luke say something to Jesse. This gave me time to lose him....or so I thought.

"Beca!! Wait up!!" Jesse yelled. Gosh dang it. I took a deep breath as I stopped walking. I rolled my eyes and turned around to face him. "God, it's like you're trying to run a race or something." he said, out of breath, when he caught up to me.

"What do you want?" I asked trying to ignore the fact that I just saw his toned body when he used his shirt to wipe the sweat off of his face.

"Don't forget about the movie." he said with a smirk as he caught me taking a quick glance at his body. I frowned at him.

"Do we have to watch it? I hate movies." I tried to squirm my way out of this.

"Yes, we do. It's part of your normal routine." he answered. "Besides, it will be fun. And who knows, maybe it will even help you remember."

"Doubt it." I said quietly. "Alright, let's go." 

"We're going to my dorm. Benji won't be back for a while." Jesse said as we began walking to the dormitories, side by side.

This is going to be a long night.

~ 119 Minutes Later~

Ugh, this movie has accomplished nothing but boring me to death! I only sat through this thing because I want my memories back and because Jesse wouldn't let me stop watching it. Finally, the credits start to appear on the screen and Jesse pauses it as I thank God for making it end.

"Wasn't that bad, was it?" Jesse asked as he began putting his laptop up.

"Yes." I answered as I watched him slide his laptop onto his nightstand and reposition himself right beside me on the bed, his shoulder lightly grazing mine. 

"It didn't help you remember?" he asked then looked into my eyes. It felt as if he was staring into my soul. I turned my head and stared at the floor as I shook my head. "It's ok. We'll get your memories back somehow, I'm not giving up on you."

Jesse placed his hand on my thigh and began rubbing circles on it. I slowly looked down at it and just watched him. He noticed what he was doing and started moving his hand as he apologized but I stopped him.

"Wait, do that again." I said. He gave me a confused look as he slowly replaced his hand on my thigh and began rubbing it again. "I think, I think I remember you doing this to me before." I said and his expression immediately changed.

"Really?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"I did this everytime you were confused or frustrated, it always seemed to help you. It also always played out the same way." he said like something clicked in his head. "Do you remember what happens next?" he asked.

I watched his hand continue to rub circles on my thigh as I thought. Do I remember what happens next? I stopped his hand from moving by gently wrapping it in mine then I looked him into the eyes. I laid my other hand on his cheek and I saw his face light up telling me that my actions were right.

"I think so." I answered his question under my breath as I slowly leaned closer to him. I kissed him, my lips barely touching his the first time, then his tongue quickly jolted into my mouth as he deepened the kiss. His hands found their way to my hips as mine found their way to his hair.

I heard Jesse moan a little then suddenly pictures started flying through my head. It made me dizzy and I tightened my hands in Jesse's hair as I held myself up. It obviously didn't bother him as he continued to kiss me. The pictures in my head started to slow down and I realized what they are....my memories.

(A/N Flashbacks!! One actually happened, the other two are made up)

The memory of Jesse and I kissing for the first time flew through my mind. 

*Flashback* "I told you, endings are the best part." Jesse said with a smirk as I made my way through the crowd. "You're such a weirdo." I replied then pulled him into a kiss. I pulled away to smile then quickly went back in for more.

Then the memory from the family outing.

*Flashback* "Thank you for coming with me. You just saved me from having to kill myself." I said as Jesse and I walked up to my dad's house hand in hand. "Well you can't quite be my girlfriend if you're dead now can you?" he asked and I giggled as he kissed me. "Hey guys! Say cheese!" Benji interrupted us. I turned my head toward him and smiled as Jesse kissed my cheek. The camera flashed and Benji sat back down beside Sheila. "Ok, let's get this over with." I said and pulled Jesse into the group of my family members.

Then the memory of the night of the family outing.

*Flashback* I lay in my bed and watch as Jesse hooks his DVD player up to the TV in my room. "Got it." He said then slid a disk into it. "But, I forgot the remote." He said and I couldn't hold back the laugh. He looked back at me and smiled, "Hey, just means you have to live without me being in that bed next to you for about 5 more minutes." "Oh my God, how will ever manage?" I asked jokingly as I clasped my hands to my heart. He chuckled then looked back at the DVD player. After a few minutes he got it to the main menu then clicked play. He ran across the floor and jumped into the bed landing on top of me causing me burst into laughter. "Quiet down in there!! I'm trying to sleep!!" My dad yelled from his room and I looked at Jesse and continued to laugh quietly. He leaned in and kissed me a couple of times. "I love you." he said when he pulled away. I smiled at him and ran my hands through his hair as I spoke. " I love you, too." He kissed me once more then the music from whatever movie he had put in started playing. He rolled over and laid beside me then wrapped me into his arms. I laid my head on his chest and he played with my hair as we watched the movie.

(A/N No more flashbacks)

I pulled away from Jesse and watched him search my face for answers.

"I think, I think I'm starting to remember." that's all I got out when suddenly Luke bursts into the room yelling something.

"Beca wait!!!"

With our arms still around each other, Jesse and I snapped our heads toward the door.

"Jesse's lying."

"What?" Jesse asked shocked by Luke's words.

"He's not your boyfriend.....I am." I looked at Jesse and he began frantically shaking his head.

"Don't listen to him, Beca. You know he's wrong, you said you remember." Jesse said but he was wrong. The moment those words came out of Luke's mouth those memories immediately became fuzzy once again.

"No I don't. I lost them." I said then pulled out of his arms. Whatever I had remembered is gone now and I'm angry at Luke for it and the look on Jesse's face tells me he isn't any happier about it either.


	12. Frenemy

*Jesse's P.O.V.*

She forgot?! I am going to kill Luke!! I jumped off the bed and rammed my fist into his face. I punched him a couple more times and I started to lose control until Beca stopped me.

"Guys stop!!" She yelled. I calmed myself and turned to face Beca.

"Bec." I said. I walked over to her and made her look at me. "Please, you've got to believe me. I'm your boyfriend, not Luke and I can pro-"she cut me off.

"Jesse, please just stop." She said calmly. "I just, I need time to think." She said then headed for the door. She got to the threshold when she was stopped by Luke.

"Beca, wait." He said. Beca stopped and turned to look at him.

"What?" She asked. Instead of answering he just walked up to her and kissed her. I felt my hands immediately clench and my nails dug into the palms of my hands. Beca pushed him off after the second kiss and quickly left the room. Luke gave me an evil smirk and I punched him again before chasing after Beca.

"Beca!!" I yelled but she ignored me and just kept walking. I ran up in front of her and she stopped.

"What Jesse?" She asked and I could hear her starting to cheer up. She looked up at me and I cupped her cheeks in my hands and kissed her. She was shocked but, unlike with Luke, she didn't pull away. I removed my hands from her face and placed them on her hips. She wrapped one arm around my neck and rested her other hand on my chest as if she were deciding whether or not to push me away. I started worrying that she would but that worry faded when lifted up onto her toes, pressing herself against me more and deepening the kiss.

We stood there just kissing until I felt her hand slide down from my neck and rest on my chest. She gently pushed me away and looked up at me looking more confused than usual. I felt a little guilty for her confusion but I couldn't let her leave after kissing Luke. She can't believe him, she's my girl and I'm going to make her remember. She looked at me one last time before running down the hall. I watched her until she turned the corner and vanished from my sight. I turned back toward my dorm to see Luke leaning against the door frame wiping the blood off of his busted lip.

"Why are you doing this to me? I thought we were friends." I said.

"We were but I like Beca, always have." He said.

"So you're going to ruin every memory she could possibly have of our relationship just so you can have her?"

"That's the plan." What is his problem? He used to be so cool.

"If you have always liked her then why are you just now trying to get her?" I asked.

"Because she had those protective walls and I didn't want to do the work of breaking them down but now it will be easy since you've already taken care of the hard part."

"That's actually a good plan but you're forgetting one thing."

"And what's that?"

"I will never let that happen. I'm not going to let you weasel into her head and make her think she loves you. She loves me."

"No she doesn't, Jesse. She doesn't remember you two ever being a couple or ever being good friends for that matter. What makes you think she will actually believe you?" He has a good point. "Exactly." He said taking my silence as an answer. "She doesn't love you anymore Jesse, face it."

I nodded then punched him again. As he cowered over holding his face in pain I ran back into my dorm and slammed the door before jumping into my bed. I've got to keep Beca away from Luke. I can't lose her even more, especially not to Luke.

*Beca' s P.O.V.*

What the h*ll? There's two guys fighting over me and I'm not sure about my feelings for one or if I even like the other one. I'm running through the halls trying to get to my dorm as fast as I can.

I finally reach my room and barge throughout the door scaring Fat Amy (She's my new roommate, awesome right?). I shut the door and lean against it as I control my breathing.

"Woah shaw shank. You ok?" Amy asked.

I took a deep breath and headed over to my closet.

"I've got two guys fighting over me." I said as I grabbed pair of sweatpants and a tank top.

"Wow."

"Trust me, it's not as great as you might think." I said and began changing.

"So what happened?" She asked.

"It's a long story." I said then flopped onto my bed.

"I've got time." I looked at her for a minute then took a deep breath before explaining.

"I kissed Jesse and I guess it triggered my memory and I started remembering things but then Luke barged into the room scaring the h*ll out of me and making me forget. Luke claimed he was boyfriend and not Jesse. Jesse began punching him. I stopped him and went to leave but before I could the both of them ended up kissing me and I'm so confused. Who am I supposed to believe?"

"Well I can tell you but it doesn't matter what I say if you can't believe it yourself." I just looked at her. "How did each kiss feel?

"How is talking about kissing supposed to help?" I asked.

"A kiss says a lot. Now talk."

I looked up at the ceiling, "I guess, with Luke, it was a little weird. It's not that it was bad but it was......emotionless. It felt like I was kissing a piece of cardboard." I took a pause before continuing. "But, with Jesse." I started and a smile crept on my face. I pushed it away and continued. "It felt so right, so familiar. It felt like I was right where I was supposed to be and I wanted to just stay right there, with him. But, I don't know why! I don't remember being with him but it's like we have this connection." I finished.

Amy didn't say anything and after a minute of silence I looked over at her to see her smiling.

"I think it's obvious." She said and I smiled as I thought about it. She smiled at me.

"Now, when you said they both kissed you, it wasn't at the same time was it?" Amy asked going back to her weird self.

"No, it was separate." I said with a chuckle.

"Good because I think you might get kicked out of that kiss." She retorted.

"I dint think Jesse feels that way about guys."

"I want talking about Jesse." Amy said and wiggled her eyebrow at me. I laughed and tossed a pillow at her then laid across my bed.

I pulled my phone out and texted Jesse. After a minute of waiting I got a reply. (B=Beca J=Jesse)

B- I'm sorry  
J- For what?  
B- Running out  
J- Its ok, you were confused  
B- thx 4 understanding  
J- No prob, we still on 4 2morrow' s movication?  
B- Ya :)  
J- Gr8. Your dorm?  
B- Sure. Gonna go to bed  
J- Night Bec

I didn't realize I was smiling until I saw my reflection in the screen of the phone. I can't help it, I don't know what it is but Jesse can just make me smile.


	13. Letting Go

*Jesse's P.O.V.*

I have to make this movication extra special. If she likes it then she will be more apt to spend more time with me and I can keep her from Luke. First thing first, we have to watch The Breakfast Club. It brought us together once maybe it can do it again. Next, juice pouches. It may sound weird but it sort of used to be our thing. I can't really think of anything else but when I do you can bet I'll do it.

~Next Day~

We are working our shift at the radio station and every 5 minutes Luke comes out of his booth just to hit on Beca. She rolls her eyes and blows him off but he just won't stop. Beca and I were in the middle of a conversation when he struck again.

"So Beca, did it hurt? Y'know, when you fell from heaven?" He asked. Now I said he was hitting on her but I didn't say he was any good at it.

"Um, I don't know if I should answer that." Beca said and looked at me. I mouthed the word 'no' and she ignored Luke and went back to stacking CD' s.

I watched Luke watch Beca. After a minute he moved and positioned himself behind her. I watched as he rested his hands on her hips and Beca stopped moving. Luke then whispered something into her ear and Beca shoved his hands off of her and stepped away from him looking a little weirded out.

"Ok, that's descriptive and I don't think I would ever go there with you nor would I want to." She said quickly. Luke moved toward her but she dodged him by walking behind me. He continued to walk toward her but I put my hand on his chest pushed him back.

"I wouldn't try it if I were you. You're lucky I didn't kill you last night, don't push it." I said. He glared at me then headed back for the booth.

"Thank you." Beca said as she walked back around the table.

"No problem. What did he say to you?" I asked.

"You don't wanna know." She answered.

"That bad?" She nodded then went back to work. I watched her work and a little smile crept onto my face.

"So, are you ready for our movie tonight?" I asked. She smiled and looked up at me.

"Ya, what are we watching anyway?"

"You'll see."

"I hate surprises."

"I know, but you'll love this one." I said. She searched my face and after realizing I'm not going to crack she surrendered.

"Alright, surprise it is. But it better be good." She said. I smiled at her, she smiled back then we went back to work.

~About An Hour Later~

Finally, we finished our shift without any more interruptions from Luke. As Beca is wrapping up her headphones, she still loves her music, Luke comes out of the booth. He headed straight for Beca but she noticed and quickly finished wrapping the chord around her headphones.

"You ready?" She asked hurriedly. I nodded and we practically ran for the door. Once we were outside Beca immediately asked, "He hasn't had a girlfriend in a while has he?"

"No, he hasn't. That's why he's trying to take mine." I answered. Beca glanced at me then looked down at the ground. "How did you know?" I asked.

"Those lines were terrible." She answered. "Don't worry," she looked back up at me, "I know he's lying to me about the boyfriend thing."

I smiled, "Good." It went quiet for a minute. "Can I give you a hug?" I asked immediately noticing how weird that sounded, Beca gave me a look to show she knows it, too. "Well, after everything with Luke I assumed you might want a hug.." I trailed off as Beca continued to give me a weird look. "And, I just kind of got this weird urge to hug you and I thought I'd ask first." I admitted.

She looked at me as if she were thinking about it. Suddenly, she stopped walking and set her headphones down.

"Ok." She said as she faced me.

"Really?" she nodded at me. I slowly set my backpack down and walked toward her. I slipped my arms around her waist and held her close to me. I felt her press her body into mine a little more as she wrapped her arms around my neck. She let out a long breath and rested her cheek against the crook of my neck.

Out of habit, I began running my hands up and down her back causing her to giggle a little. This was the same reaction I would always get before and I smiled.

"That feels good." She said into my ear. I didn't say anything, I just smiled and continued rubbing her back. After a few minutes Beca pulled away from me and picked her headphones back up. She cleared her throat before speaking, "Ok, let's go."

I picked up my bag and we headed to the dorms.

*Beca's P.O.V.*

"Juice pouches? Really?" I asked when Jesse pulled some juice pouches out of his bag. We are sitting on my bed getting ready to watch Jesse's surprise movie.

"Yeah, juice pouches were kind of our thing besides, they're delicious." He responded and handed me one. I hesitantly grabbed it from him. "Don't worry, I brought something a little more your style as well." He said then pulled out a 6 pack of beer.

"Oh thank God." I said then dropped the juice and grabbed a beer. I took a gulp as Jesse put a DVD into his laptop all secret like. "Don't tell me you didn't bring anything to eat." I said trying to stall the movie watching.

He chuckled as he reached into his backpack and pulled out an already popped bag of popcorn. Is that bag freaking magical?

"The Breakfast Club? What the h*ll is this?" I asked when the movie menu popped up on the screen.

"Just watch it and find out." He said as he clicked off the lamp on my nightstand.

"Fine but if they are just eating breakfast I'm out." I said. He chuckled a little then clicked the play button.

The movie should start with a screen that says "Welcome to Hell" because I'm pretty sure that's what I'm going to go through for the next 97 minutes.

~97 Minutes Later~

"So, was this one bad?" Jesse asked when the movie ended. I watched him switch the lamp back on before answering.

"No, it was ok." I answered when he was facing me again.

"Good." He said then it went quiet for a minute. "You know this is the only movie that you would willingly watch?" Jesse broke the silence.

"Really?" I asked genuinely interested.

"Yeah. It's also our movie and song."

"Jesse, just because we watched it together doesn't make it our movie." I said as he shut his laptop and put it in his bag.

"That's not why?"

"Then why?"

"This is the movie that brought us closer and this song is the song you serenaded me with, bringing us together." He explained. I didn't really know how to respond to that so it went quiet. Jesse began packing all of his stuff back into his bag when my phone went off.

"That's weird." I said aloud by accident.

"What is?"

"Luke just texted me. He wants to know if I will go out with him tonight." I said.

"Well, break it to him gently. You don't want to get fired."

"Actually, I was thinking about saying yes." I said. Jesse stopped moving and it went dead silent.

He slowly turned to look at me, "Why?" He asked.

"I need to see if there's a spark."

"But at the station, you said-"

"I know what I said." I cut him off. "I need to know for sure if there's anything there and this is the only way." I said as I walked over to where he's standing now. "Don't be mad."

"I'm not mad." He said then grabbed his bag and headed for the door.

"You're mad."

"No I'm not." He said as he spun on his heel. He stared at me for a minute then dropped his bag and locked his lips to mine once again. The impact shocked me and I pushed him off.

"Please, don't fall for him." He said quietly then grabbed his bag and ran out of my dorm.

He looked so hurt and mad but this is something that I feel like I have to do. A part of me is hoping that there is no spark between me and Luke because it knows I want Jesse but the bigger part of me is just confused by this. God, what am I going to do?

*Jesse's P.O.V.*

No!! Luke can't do this, he can't take her from me!! I marched straight down to the radio station, burst through the doors, and immediately began yelling at Luke.

"What the f*ck is your problem!?! Why are you doing this to me!?!"

"I love Beca." He said calmly.

"No you don't! You don't understand what love is!! If you did, you would've fought for her last year but did you? No!! So don't tell me you love her!!" I yelled in his face. He hit my chest and pushed me back.

"Get out of my face man." He said starting to get angry.

"Why? If you love her fight for her! I will!" I yelled. He just stood there with that same blank expression. "That's what I thought. You're just d*ckhead that wants Beca for her body." I said as I calmed a little.

"Whatever. You're only saying that because you're not getting laid tonight." Luke said. That did it. Talking about Beca like she's just a piece of a*s was the last straw and I blew up.

I turned around and tackled him to the ground. I straddled him and began repeatedly punching his face. After the 5th hit his face was starting to look like a bloody pulp. I drew my hand back to punch him again but he quickly pulled his feet up and kicked me away. I cowered back as he jumped to his feet then punched me. He only got a couple hits in before I rammed him into the shelves behind him causing the CD' s and vinyls to go crashing to the floor. He head butted me in the nose just as we heard Beca's voice from behind us.

"Guys!!" I held my nose and turned to look at her. I pull my hand away and the look on her face tells me how bad I look. "What's going on?" She asked then grabbed a paper towel from the booth and began wiping the blood from my face.

"Nothing." I answered and pulled away from her. She looked at Luke then back at me.

"Jesse, what happened?" She asked and took a step toward me.

"You wanna know what happened? I just found out who Luke really is. He's not a friend, he's a backstabber! I never thought I was capable of this much hate but then again, nobody was ever stupid enough to try and steal the one thing I love the most in the world!" I started to shout and Beca took a step back.

"As for you, I love you Beca. You're the thing that I love the most in this world and you not believing that and agreeing to this thing with Luke, it kills me! I understand that you're confused and this is hard for you but you have to understand that it's hard for me, too. Watching you look so confused and frustrated all of the time and knowing that I can't do anything to help you is the worst thing I've ever had to suffer through. No one wants you to remember more than I do but I can't do this anymore, Beca. I'm only human and I can't take all of the pain you're throwing at me. So congratulations, you got what you wanted. I'm leaving you alone and you and you're new boyfriend can figure everything out. Don't come crawling to me when you find out who he really is, I'm done." I said then pushed passed her toward the door trying to ignore the painful look on her face.

"Jesse." Luke stopped me.

"What?" I asked through clenched teeth and kept my back toward him.

"You're fired." He said and I could hear the smirk. I turned around and noticed Beca was standing in the same spot staring down at the ground.

"Luke, that's the best thing you've said all night. Why would I want to work here with two traitors? Have fun on your date." I said then rushed out of the door with tears in my eyes.

I know that was harsh but I couldn't help it. I can't handle the pain anymore, it hurts too much. I love her but I don't see anything else I can do to help her if she doesn't want to cooperate. I'm going to miss her.

*Beca's P.O.V.*

He's giving up on me? Why did his words hurt me so much? Why do I feel like this? I want to just....cry. I never cry, not since I was a kid anyway, but losing Jesse like this felt like a part of me had been ripped away. I don't know how or if I can fix this but I do know one thing...there's no spark between me and Luke. We haven't even left the station yet but after the way Jesse made me feel, I know there's nobody else that can make me feel this way.

"Screw him, are you ready?" Luke asked breaking me from my trance.

"No." I said quietly.

"What?" Luke asked.

"No, I'm sorry Luke but I'm not going with you." I said.

"Why not?"

"The reason I agreed to this is because I wanted to see if there was a spark between us. I know there's not." I explained.

"How do you know? We haven't even left the station yet."

"Because there is no way you can make me feel the way Jesse can. I'm sorry Luke." I said and he looked away from me.

"Whatever. I'd fire you but you're kind of my last employee."

"Well, you don't have to worry about it because if you don't rehire Jesse then I quit." I said, knowing Jesse didn't actually want to lose his job here, then left.

Instead of going back to my dorm I decided to take a walk, get some fresh air and just think. It's dark now and I sit down on an abandoned bench in the park and stare up at the sky. I was admiring the beauty of the stars when my phone went off. I looked at it to see a text from Amy. (A= Amy B= Beca)

A- Hey flatbutt, where r u?

B- Went 4 a walk, had a tuff day.

A- What happened?

B- Fight w/ Luke & Jesse. I think I lost Jesse

I could feel the tears forming behind my eyelids as I typed the last text. She replied with "I'm sorry, u still have the Bellas". I smiled then shut my phone down and stared up at the sky for a little bit longer before deciding to go back to my dorm.

~Beca's Dorm~

When I arrived at my dorm there was a sticky note on the door with something scribbled on it in Amy 's handwriting. It read:

Beca,

I am not going to be back tonight, you have the dorm to yourself. Don't have too much fun!!!

<3 Amy

P.S. You're welcome and don't worry about paying me back.

"You're welcome? For what?" I thought as I pulled the note off of the door and stepped inside the room.

I tossed it into the trash can, flicked on the lights and came to a sudden stop as I saw what Amy's you're welcome was for. Jesse was sitting on my bed twirling a rose in his hand.

"What are you doing here?" I asked quietly trying to hide how glad I was to see him. He looked up at me and I could tell that he had been crying. He cleared his throat and stood up.

"I wanted to apologize. I shouldn't have said what I did. It was heartless and I didn't mean it. I was hurt and mad. I will never give up on you, Bec. Will you forgive me?" he asked then stuck the rose toward me. I slowly walked closer to him and instead of taking the rose I collapsed into his arms. He held me tight but gently.

"I'm sorry, Jesse. I shouldn't have said yes to Luke. We didn't even get out of the station before I realized that no one can ever make me feel the way you can." I said against his chest.

"And how do I make you feel?" he asked.

"Loved. Like there's nothing in this world you would rather do than be with me." I said.

"I'm glad that's how you feel because that's how I want you to feel when you're with me." he said. I pulled away just enough to look at him face to face.

"Jesse, you have to help me remember. I'm ready for anything, I just can't stand feeling like this anymore. Will you help me?"

"Of course I will." he answered and I hug him again. We stand there in each other's arms for what feels like hours.

"So, what's first?" I asked when I pulled away.

"This."he said then quickly cupped my face in his hands and kissed me. It shocked me but I didn't pull away this time. "Keep your schedule clear, we have lots to do." he said when he pulled away. He headed for the door and I followed him. "Oh, and don't agree to dates, you're mine again. Got it?"

"Yes." I said then reached behind him and opened the door.

"Good night." he said then lightly kissed me again before leaving.

I shut the door behind him and leaned against it. I reran today's events through my head and I couldn't fight back the smile as I thought about Jesse's lips on mine. He's amazing and I can feel the connection between us getting stronger and stronger everyday. This feels to real to be fake.


	14. You Again

*Beca’s P.O.V.*

“Blah blah, blah blah blah, blah blah blah, blah blah.” Is the only thing I can hear coming from the professor’s mouth. I don’t care about school right now, I have more important things on my mind. For instance, my date tonight with Jesse, he wants this to be perfect. I haven’t been on a date since high school and honestly, I’m quite nervous.

I was pulled from my thoughts when the professor yelled my name.

“Miss Mitchell, please wake up. You are drooling all over my desk.” The class snickered a little, immature dweebs.

“Right, sorry. You have my full attention, please proceed.” I said, careful not to let the professor catch the hint of sarcasm that quietly traced my voice.

“Thank you. Now, as I was saying……”

~~

“Beca!!” I awoke from my nap to Fat Amy yelling at me. As my senses slowly came back to me I could make out the sound of my alarm clock. “How the h*ll can you sleep through that?’ she asked as I hit the dismiss button.

“I don’t know.”

“I mean, I know your brain is a little messed up right now but I didn’t think it was that messed up.” I rolled my eyes as I checked the time.

“Sh*it!!!” I yelled as I jumped out of my bed throwing my headphones across the room.

“Geez, Bec. Calm down.” Amy said when my headphones landed in her lap.

“Sorry but I’m late.” I said as I grabbed my jacket and ran out of the room.

~~

I’m running out of breath as I weave through the hallways trying to reach the quad before I’m too late. I had just turned the corner, to the hallway that leads to the quad, when I felt a very firm chest hit me, sending me stumbling backwards.

“Sh*t.” I said as I tried to catch my balance. Suddenly, a hand wrapped around my wrist and my face hit that chest again as I was pulled back onto my feet.

“I’m so sorry, texting and walking isn't a skill of mine.” That voice sounded familiar but I just couldn't match a face to it. “Wait, Beca? Beca Mitchell?”

I looked up to a pair of beautiful blue eyes that I thought I would never see again.

“It’s Chad, Chad McCormick.”

“Right, Chad McCormick, the reason I stopped dating.” I said as I glanced down at his hand that was still wrapped around my wrist.

“Right, I’m really sorry about that.”

“Your apology is three years overdue.”

“Sorry.” He apologized again.

He stared into my eyes for a moment until I started to feel weird. I looked away from him and pulled my arm loose.

“So, I heard about your um, situation.” He started conversation when he caught the awkward drift.

“You mean my memory loss? Yeah, it’s a pain in m a*s. Look, it’s nice to see you again and all but I have a date to attend to.”

“Oh, you’re seeing someone.” He said almost questioningly.

“Sort of.”

“Is it that Jesse guy from the accident?”

“Yes but it won’t last much longer if I don’t get down there in the next three minutes.” I said trying to politely hurry him off.

“Before you go, wanna get lunch tomorrow?” I just looked at him. I just told him I’m seeing someone and now he’s asking me out on a date? “I mean to catch up. Not on a date or anything because that would be cheating.”

“And that’s more your speed.” I said, immediately wishing I could take it back when I saw a hint of pain flash through his eyes. “Um, yeah lunch is good, I eat lunch.” I said feeling awkward. I just want to dart.

“Great, so I’ll see you tomorrow.” He said and gave me a weak smile as he slid past me. I sighed and began running to the quad again.

~~

I made it to the quad just in time to see Jesse start to head back to the dorms.

“Jesse.” I tried to yell but I was out of breath. I stopped running and took a minute to catch my breath. “Jesse!” I yelled. He stopped walking and turned to look at me. It was dark but the moon gave off just enough light to show off the smile that formed on Jesse’s beautiful face.

I fought away the smile on mine as he made his way to me.

“I was worried you weren't gonna come.” He said when he was standing in front of me.

“Sorry, I got a little held up.” I said, still trying to catch my breath. He smiled and, as if he read my mind, he handed me a bottle of water. "Thanks." I said as I opened the bottle and took big gulps.

"Wow. Did you just finish running a 5k or something?" he asked as I handed him bottle that is now 3/4 of the way empty.

I just shrugged my shoulders. He smiled as he finished off the bottle and threw it in the nearest trash can.

"Alright, you need to put this on." he said as he pulled something out of his pocket.

"I am not putting a blindfold on. There's nothing that you can say or do that will get that thing around my head." I said and folded my arms to show just how sincere I was.

He smiled at me. "Just put it on." he said as he began placing it on my eyes.

"But, I hate blindfolds. They're always used during secrets and surprises and, in case you've forgotten, I hate surprises. And walking around without sight is stupid. What if I run into a serial killer or..." I was cut off when I felt his lips lightly press against mine.

"Don't worry so much. I'm here and I'm not gonna let anything happen to you." he said and, though I can't see it, I just know he's smiling.

"Yeah, but you're still trying to surprise me." I said with a pouty voice. I heard him chuckle then felt his arm wrap around my back.

"Let's go." he said as he led me across the quad.

~~  
After a few minutes the car stopped and I heard Jesse's door open. Ten seconds later my door opened and Jesse was helping me out of the car. I can't really describe it to you because, you know, I'm a little blindfolded but I can tell you that we walked somewhere.

"Ok, ready?" he asked.

"It means this blindfold can come off, of course I'm ready." I said. I felt him fumble with the knot on the back of my head until the blindfold finally slid off my face. What I saw was so impeccable that I came to a loss of words.

There was a blanket spread across the ground and on it was a bottle of champagne cooling in a bucket of ice, beautiful flowers of all kinds in a vase in the middle of the blanket, little candles set at each corner of the blanket, a battery powered radio sitting at the edge of the blanket, a picnic basket full of food, and there were even rose pedals scattered all around the ground.

"Jesse, this is beautiful but you didn't have to go through all of this trouble for me." I said.

"Oh, but I did. I love you, Bec. I wish to show you just how much you mean to me and this is only the first step." he said then lightly kissed my temple. "Ready to eat?"

"Are you kidding? I was born to eat." he chuckled and held his arm out. I intertwined my arm with his and he led me over to the blanket and helped me sit down.

*Jesse's P.O.V.* 

It’s time for our date, finally, and I’m waiting for Beca in the quad. I check my watch, 7:05, she’s late. Maybe she just lost track of time or something. I waited for a little longer. After about five more minutes, she hasn’t arrived. I was afraid this would happen but that doesn’t make me any less disappointed.   
I sighed and started to walk back to my dorm. I guess she’s not going to come. I’m a few feet away from the entrance to the building when I hear a girl’s voice yell my name. I immediately turned around and saw Beca standing on the quad. The moon shining on her made her look more perfect than before and I couldn’t help the smile that formed on my face as I walk over to her.

“I was worried you weren’t gonna come.” I said when I was standing in front of her.

“Sorry, I got a little held up.” I noticed she was breathing fast, I guess she ran down here. I handed her my bottle of water and watched her drink it. A few drops of water escaped her mouth and trickled down her chin and I fought the urge to wipe them away.

“Wow. Did you just finish running a 5k or something?" I asked when she handed me my bottle of water that was now ¾ of the way empty.

She just shrugged her shoulders. I smiled as I finished off the bottle and threw it in the nearest trash can.

I pulled a blindfold out of my pocket and asked her to put it on. As expected, she refused then freaked out about it as I wrapped it around her head. She was going on about how dangerous it is and blah blah blah. I lightly pressed my lips against hers. She went quiet and lightly kissed back.

"Don't worry so much. I'm here and I'm not gonna let anything happen to you." I said with a smile.

"Yeah, but you're still trying to surprise me." She said with a pouty voice. I chuckled and wrapped my arm around her back.

“Let’s go.” I said and led her to my car.

~~

After a few minutes I pulled up to where I had the date set up. I turned the engine off and took a glance at Beca before getting out of the car. I made my way around the car and opened the passenger door. I helped her out of the car and led her over to the date site.

“Ok, ready?” I asked.

"It means this blindfold can come off, of course I'm ready." She said. I chuckled then began untying the blindfold. I pulled it away from her face and her jaw dropped.

"Jesse, this is beautiful but you didn't have to go through all of this trouble for me." She said.

"Oh, but I did. I love you, Bec. I wish to show just how much you mean to me and this is only the first step." I said hen lightly kissed her temple. “Ready to eat?” I asked an obvious question and got an obvious answer.

"Are you kidding? I was born to eat." She said. I held my arm out and she intertwined hers with mine. I led her to the picnic blanket and helped her get seated.

~~

About an hour later, the food is gone, the champagne bottle is empty and we are laying on the blanket just inches apart, admiring the stars.

“Look, there’s the big dipper.” I said pointing at the constellation the stars have formed.

“Yeah, it’s beautiful. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything more beautiful.” I turned my head to look at her.

“I have.” She turned her head to face me.

“You’re such a nerd.” She said with a smile.

“Yeah and you’re a weirdo, that’s why we work so well.” She chuckled then looked back up at the sky. I kept my eyes locked on her angelic face. I swear, this girl couldn’t look more perfect if she fell from heaven itself.

“Why are you staring at me?” she asked without taking her eyes off of the sky.

“I told you, you’re beautiful.” She looked at me again and smiled at her.

“You are so cheesy.”

“The lines are cheesy, not me.” She let out an airy giggle and I slowly scooted closer to her. “They’re working aren’t they?”

“Yes, they are.” She answered as I pressed my forehead against hers. I saw her eyes flicker to my lips then back up to my eyes. She began to scoot closer until her lips rested against mine.

*Beca’s P.O.V.*

I don’t know if it was the champagne flowing through my system or just the way the moon shined perfectly on Jesse’s face, either way, I was being drawn to him. At first, I tried to fight it but then he kept scooting closer to me. I could feel his body heat radiating off of him and onto me and I couldn’t fight it any longer. I scooted closer to him until I was close enough for my lips to rest on his.

I let them sit there for a moment, enjoying the feel of his lips against mine. Then, taking a bold move, I slid my lips over his. He moved his in perfect unison with mine, keeping the kiss soft and sweet.

It felt so right, yet, it felt so wrong. I reluctantly pulled away and sat up. He cleared his throat and sat up as well. He began packing everything into his picnic basket then looked at me.

“Ready to go?” he asked.

“Go? Go where?”

“This date isn’t over yet.” He said with a smirk then stood up. “Come on.” He said then stuck his hand out toward me. I eyed him for a moment then grabbed his hand.

I watched as he stuck the basket and blanket in the back of his car then locked the doors. He offered me his arm and I took it.

~~

We are walking through the park, enjoying the quiet. It’s really romantic with the light creating little shadows that dance across the night sky and the faint sound of music playing off in the distance. We haven’t spoken as we are just enjoying the company of each other.

“This has been an amazing night, Bec.” Jesse broke the silence as we doubled back to the car.

“Yeah, it really has.” I agreed. “We should do this again.”

“Tomorrow?” he asked.

“Sure, I can do dinner.” I said.

“I’m having dinner with my family tomorrow. How about lunch?”

“I can’t, I’m having lunch with a guy from high school.” I felt him tense a little but he didn’t freak out. “It’s just to catch up, Jess, don’t worry.”

“I wasn’t worried. So this guy, did you date him?” I laughed a little as I heard the envy in his voice.

“Yes but trust me, there’s nothing between us. We didn’t end things on very good terms.” He loosened up a little.

“Oh, can I ask what happened?”

“He cheated on me with my best friend.” He was quiet for a minute.

“He’s stupid. I wouldn’t give you up for anyone.”

“You haven’t seen this friend.”

“Doesn’t matter, there is absolutely no one in the world that can even compare to you.”

“That’s sweet but you don’t have to say that. I know this must be a lot to deal with, the memory loss and all. Everyone can compare to me and they will exceed your expectations.” He suddenly stopped walking and turned me to face him.

“Don’t you get it, Bec? I don’t give a d*mn about your memory loss. As far as I can see, you are the prettiest woman I have ever seen in my life and there is absolutely nobody that can replace you. You are the one for me. I know those memories are still there and I will do anything I have to do to get them to resurface. I know you can’t remember this Bec, but I love you and I know you love me and together, we can get through this and be happy once and for all.” I was speechless, the only thing I could do was smile. He smiled back then, instead of intertwining our arms, he laced his fingers with mine.

“So, breakfast then?” I asked returning to our earlier conversation.

“Sounds great.” He said then lead me back to the car.

~~  
"So I'll see you in the morning." I said as we approached the door to my dorm.

"Yeah, see ya then." he said then shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Until then, good night."

"Night."

I stood there awkwardly for a moment, contemplating what to do for what seemed like hours but, in reality, was only a few seconds. I slowly stepped toward him and lightly kissed him on the cheek.

"Good night." I said again then headed into my room.


	15. The Chess Match Continues...

*Beca's P.O.V.*

"Beca! Wake up!" I woke up to Jesse yelling and banging on my dorm door. I yawned and rolled over.

"What do you want?" I ask in that nasty morning voice. Next thing I know my door is swinging open and Jesse is walking through it.

"Breakfast." he answered my question then began pulling things out of his bag. I looked from him to the door.

"How the h*ll did you get in here?" he smiled and held up his credit card.

"To you, a normal piece of plastic but in my hands, a professional lock picking kit."

I rolled my eyes and sat up, leaning against the wall behind my bed. "You're such a nerd." he smiled. I watched him as he ran around my dorm. Within in ten he was handing me a plate of hot syrup covered waffles. 

"You made these?" I asked as he took a seat beside me, holding a plate identical to mine.

"Yeah. Portable waffle iron works like a charm, I love modern technology."

"These aren't gonna kill me are they?" I asked jokingly as I eyed the waffles. He chuckled as he shook his head. "How can I trust you?"

He grabbed my plate and took a bite of my waffles. "See, they're fine." he said as he handed me the plate back, locking his eyes to mine. I grabbed the plate, my fingers gently sliding over his sending little sparks of electricity through my hand. He stared into my eyes until I looked away. He cleared his throat before asking how they were. I took a big bite of them and it felt as if my mouth had died and gone to mouth heaven, 

"Wow, you can cook." he chuckled then began eating is.

*Lunch*

Morning classes flew by leaving an awful taste in mouth much like a rotten egg. Oh how I hate school! At least I have the Bellas to look forward to, I swear they're the only things keeping me sane with everything happening lately. I can't wait for rehearsal but first, I have to suffer through lunch with the man who broke my heart in high school. He's not really a bad guy if you exclude the fact that he slept with my best friend on prom night but I'm a woman now. I think it's time I at least try to forgive though I may never forget.

"Beca!" Chad flagged me down when I stepped into the restaurant. I took a deep breath before shuffling over to the table. Chad greeted me with a smile as I took the seat across from him.

I remember a time when that smile used to mean something to me, when all he had to do was flash it and instantly all of my problems would just disappear. Too bad that was about three years ago when I was young and stupid. Now that smile means diddly-squat to me.

"You came." he seemed surprised.

"Of course, I'm a woman of my word. You know that."

"Right, well I took the liberty of ordering for you. Tacos are still your favorite right?" he flashed me that smile again.

"You remembered and after all of these years. I'm impressed." I said, my voice dripping with more sarcasm than I intended for it to.

"I get the feeling you don't really want to be here." he said, catching the drops of sarcasm.

"You wanted to catch up, here I am. So, catch up." Wow, apparently this forgiving thing is going to be harder than I thought.

"So, um, how have you been?" he asked.

"Forgetful."

"Right, what about school?"

"Blurry."

"Life?"

"Also blurry."

"Look Beca, I'm trying. Can you cut me some slack and stop giving me that evil glare? I know I messed up big time and I'm really sorry but I'm trying to move on. So can we just let the past be the past and be friends again? That's all I want." his speech shocked me.

"I don't know, Chad. What you did wasn't just some little thing, you screwed my best friend on prom night. It's not easy to just forgive you."

"It was three years ago, Beca. Are you really going to hold a grudge?"

"Yes!" I said loudly causing everyone to look at us. "What you did not only ruined two of the most important relationships of my life, it ruined me as well. It's been so hard to let people get close to me because I think that they might hurt me again. I don't think I can live through something like that again and letting you just swoop back into my life like nothing ever happened pretty much ensures that I will get broken again. So excuse me if I'm little angry and cautious at the moment. I've got a lot going on in my life and I don't need my past coming back acting like a perfect angel only for it to turn around and bite me in the a*s." he was quiet as the waiter came with our food.

"I'm sorry, Beca. I didn't realize how bad I hurt you." he apologized, sounding sincere.

"I'm sorry, too. I agreed to this so I could forgive you, not give you a big speech on how you destroyed me. It's just hard."

"I understand."

There. It could have been dropped right there but no. I'm obviously so bull-headed that I couldn't leave it at that. I just had to continue. I guess it makes sense I mean, have you met my dad?

"No you don't. I mean, how could you? How could anyone? My boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend destroying every hope for any future relationships, my parents were divorced shortly after, I've been forced to go to college, and on my way to college I was in a car accident that put me in a coma causing me to miss out on two months of my life and more because of the f**king brain damage that made my memories of the last year go kaploof. Do you have any idea of how hard it is to sing and dance with a bunch of girls you can barely remember or have two guys fighting over you and you don't even know which one you were really in love with if you were ever actually capable of love?" he was speechless.

"Let me answer that for you, no you don't. And you know why? Again, I'll answer that for you, because it never happened to you. It never happens to anyone unless you're as proned to bad luck as me."

"Or if you're Rachel McAdams in a Channing Tatum movie." he joked. I gave him a stern look. "Right, this isn't a time for jokes." I took a deep breath.

"No, it is. It's lunch time, we should be enjoying it instead of talking about all of this depressing stuff that we have no control over. So, I'm sorry that I just poured my life's story onto you like that, let's just ignore it and eat." he nodded then began to eat. 

This isn't so bad. Now that I've gotten all of that off of my chest I feel a lot better. Maybe now I can enjoy this more. Maybe I can enjoy a lot of stuff more, God I hope so.

*Chad's P.O.V.*

Lunch with Beca was great, I mean we had to get through the awkward 'let's make amends for our past' thing but it was still pretty great. It's great seeing her again but I think I was wrong. I don't think I'm ready to move on.

When I came here it was just to go to college but then I found out that Beca goes here and I just had to make amends. I feel horrible about what I did and I just wanted to be her friend but seeing her today, talking to her, making her laugh, it was just like high school. I don't know, I guess that maybe those feelings found their way back to my heart. I know she doesn't forgive me but I'm going to do everything I can to make her see how sorry I am. It's a start, right?

We are now leaving the restaurant and I realize that if I don't say something now my chances with her are gone.

"So Beca, this was great." lame but it started a conversation didn't it?

"Yeah it was. I'd love to hang a little longer but I have to get to Bellas rehearsal." her being in an a capella group is going to take some getting used to, she used to hate that stuff.

'Not the point Chad! The point is she said she would like to hang longer. This is your chance to set up another date you idiot.' stupid subconscious always has to be mean. But it is right.

"So, you wanna do this again sometime?" I asked.

"Catch up? I thought we're already caught up."

"Well yeah but..." I'm at a loss of words. She always could do this to me. She's the only girl that makes me nervous and I don't like this power she has over me.

"Don't worry, Chad. I forgive you, we can do this again but as friends."

"Great. How about tomorrow, meet you here for lunch?"

"Can't, I'm having lunch with the girls and we're spending the rest of the day prepping for the riff off."

"Riff Off?"

"It's an a capella thing. Actually, the competition was supposed to be held at the beginning of the year but due to the wreck they decided to postpone it."

"Ok, when is that?" I asked.

"Tomorrow night."

"Can we hang after that?"

"Sorry but Jesse's coming over to watch a movie. Apparently we did that last year so we have to do it this year, doctor's orders." her friends are making this impossible!!

"Sheesh you're a busy girl. When can we hang out then?" I asked desperate for a day with her.

"Uh, I can do Friday possibly." she said not sounding completely sure. I was just about to accept when I heard someone calling for Beca off in the distance.

"Hey." the mystery person said as he caught up to us. I've never met him but judging by his looks, it seems I have some competition for Beca's affection. No big deal, this guy isn't a big deal.

"Hey, Jesse." Except he is a big deal!!

"Jesse? As in Jesse that was in the wreck with you? As in Jesse that's been by your side through everything?"

"That's me. And you are...?"

"Chad."

"Ah, the infamous Chad. The Chad that broke Beca's heart, the Chad that slept with her best friend while dating her." so he's heard of me. Great. Just what I needed.

"Hey guys." some guy with a British accent said as he came up to us. It looked like he had recently been a fight.

"You're new. I'm Luke, and you are...?" he said then stretched his hand toward me.

"Chad." I said as I shook it. "You look pretty nasty. I'd hate to see the other guy."

"You're looking at him." Jesse piped up.

"You did this to him? Why?"

"Let's just say you really shouldn't cross me by kissing Beca." Jesse looked pretty intimidating with the way his jaw clenched, his muscles tightened, and he stepped closer to Beca sort of possessively. How did she not notice?

"Luke better leave or he'll get it again." Beca finally said something and I couldn't tell if she really disliked this Luke character or if she just didn't want him getting hurt again. Either way, Luke obeyed.

"So, how was lunch?" Jesse asked as he slipped his arm around Beca. Why isn't she stopping him? I know they're not officially together anymore.

lt was great, actually we're planning on doing it again Friday." I answered. Jesse gave me a look that I couldn't explain but I can tell you it was kind of creepy.

Maybe I should back off of Beca, he is the one that's been here for her and he looks like he's tired of fighting guys off. What am I saying? I'm not afraid of some nerdy movie loving guy that just happens to have huge biceps. I'm certainly not letting Beca go again. If this is a death wish, and judging by the look on Jesse's face it is, then I'm not going down witthout a fight.

"That's great. Becs." Jesse said then turned his attention to Beca. As soon as she looked at him all of the tension in his body was released. "See ya after rehearsals?"

"You know where to find me." she said. Jesse smiled and kissed her forehead before walking away.

"What?" Beca asked when she saw my glare.

"You told me you weren't free again until Friday."

"I'm not, I'm very expensive and I happen to know that Jesse has the money for me." I smiled and, with my eyes, I told her to give me the real reasoning.

"Jesse has different rules. I can't explain it but he just does." she's falling for him. D*mmit!! I guess I just have to work harder so she'll fall for me faster. I can do that, maybe.

*Jesse's P.O.V.*

Chad McCormick. He's a good looking guy and if Beca agreed to go to lunch with him again then he must be pretty convincing. She would never say yes to this if he didn't persuade her somehow. She didn't want to go in the first place so there's no way she would've said yes without a little persuasion. 

He has a chance of getting her but I still have the better chance. She lets me wrap my arm around her and kiss her forehead, and sometimes her lips. I don't care what anyone says, there's still a part of her that remembers us and what we had and I'm going to make that part resurface if it's the last thing I do.

*After Rehearsals*

I'm waiting outside the auditorium for Beca. After a few minutes I hear the sound of feet coming toward the door then the door opens. Bellas begin piling out of the room talking and laughing with one another. I do a head count as they walk past me, nine. Where's Beca? I peeked inside the room to see Beca sitting indian style on the stage with pieces of paper spread all around her.

"Hey." I said when I stepped up the stairs to the stage

"Hey Jess." she said without taking her eyes off of the papers.

"What are you doing?"

"Finding songs for regionals. It's much harder when you don't remember what you did last year that apparently lead you to victory later on." 

"Need help?" she looked up at me.

"Would you believe it if I said no?" I smiled.

"Not a chance."

"Yeah, I could use some help then." she said then handed me a stack of papers. I took a seat beside her and we began examining all of the song choices.

*A Few Hours Later*

"There, the perfect setlist. Too bad I didn't think of it for the Trebles." I said when we finally pieced together the set.

"No stealing. I'm not afraid to look like a tattletale." Beca teased. I chuckled as I rose to my feet and helped her to hers. "Thanks, Jesse. I couldn't have done this without your help."

"No need to thank me, you did most of it." it went quiet for a minute as she shut down the auditorium and locked it up. "So, can I walk you back to your dorm? It's pretty dark, you never know what you might run into."

"Thanks but I think I'll be fine."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Besides, I could use the time alone. I've been crowded with people all day and I just really need the time to let my head relax."

"Cool." I said, kind of bummed that I have to leave her side already. "I'll see you tomorrow then." before I could move I felt Beca's arms wrap around my neck. At first I was shocked but then I came to my senses and wrapped my arms around her waist. I held her tight as I felt her body began to press into mine more. 

"Beca?" I whispered into her ear. No response. Did she..? I said her name again and still got no response. Yup, I think she has fallen asleep. She did seem pretty tired earlier, she had a lot of stressing things to deal with today. 

I smiled as I carefully leaned over and pulled her legs up off of the ground, holding her bridal style as she slept in my arms. She began to stir a little as she tried to make herself comfortable. She snuggled her head into my neck keeping one arm around me and she dropped the other in her lap. I slowly headed for her dorm.

Once I was standing in front of her door I hoped that Amy was already there and the door was unlocked. Careful not to disturb Beca I reached out and grabbed the doorknob. I held my breath as I turned it. It turned all the way and the door opened. I let the breath out as I stepped inside.

"Hey Jesse." Amy said pretty loudly. Beca stirred in my arms a little but I calmed her down. "Whoops. Sorry." Amy whispered.

I made my way to Beca's bed and gently laid her on it. I pulled her shoes off of her then pulled the blanket up to her chin as she slept. She looks so peaceful and I couldn't help the smile. I kissed her forehead before turning to leave, waving bye to Amy on the way out.


	16. Clarification

*Beca's P.O.V.*

I slowly woke up this morning hugging the imaginary life out of my pillow. I checked the time to see I still had a minute before my alarm clock is set to go off. I, deciding to try to enjoy that last minute, drop my head back down onto my pillow and begin falling back to sleep. I was just about to walk through the gates of "Becatopia" (yes I named my, for a lack of a better word, dreamland, deal with it.) when the screeching sound of my alarm clock jerked me awake. My eyes flicked open and I stared at the wall as I heard someone struggle to turn the clock off.

The alarm clock finally shut off and, without another thought about it, I tried to regain access to "Becatopia", 'try' being the key word. Just as I got comfortable my alarm clock went off again! I let out a loud groan as I rolled over slamming my fist on the dismiss button.

"You're awake." an unmistakeable voice said. I sat up and looked at Jesse who had made himself comfortable at my desk.

"And you're in my dorm." 

"Really?" he asked jokingly as he pretended to examine my room. "Hmm, it appears that I am."

"And no waffles this time." I said with a sarcastic smile planted on my face.

"Ran out of waffle mix." I jokingly nodded an understanding nod. 

"So, what are you doing here?" he took a deep breath as he stood and placed himself on my bed, being sure to stay facing me. 

"Well, Amy had to go to class and she didn't want to leave you here alone. She picked up her phone, clicked in a few digits, pressed talk-"

"Jesse, I know how to call someone." I cut him off. He gave me that cute smile, you know, that one that makes butterflies stir in my stomach and my brain second guess itself. "Why did she call you?" I asked, trying my hardest to ignore the power of that smile.

"Why not?" he asked. I couldn't think of a reason why not so he decided to share with me his thoughts as to why.

"Look babe, I am the only one that knows and remembers that wreck. I remember the screeching tires, crunching metal, busting glass, painful screams, and the certainty that we were dead. Now, I'm the only one that knows, from the doctor and google, every possible side effect of returning memories so I know how to take care of you instead of freaking out. Is there anyone better to take care of you? And did I just call you babe?"

"No, I can't and yeah, you did." I answered his questions.

"Force of habit." he retorted then silence filled the room. For the first time since I woke up the silence felt a little awkward.

"What happened?" I asked after a few moments of unbearable silence.

"What?" he asked shocked by my abrupt question.

"I remember my life but everything from being in that police car to the time that I woke up in the hospital is a big blank." I explained. "Can you maybe, fill in some of the blanks?" he looked a little hesitant but he agreed with a little head nod.

"Um, I've never really talked about it aloud before so it's gonna be a little hard but just bare with me." I nodded and looked at him. He looked away and cleared his throat before speaking.

"Um. Well, it, we started when you kissed me at finals last year. We began dating after that and we soon became inseparable. We would go to classes together, watch more movies together, and we would just do everything together. Eventually, the school year ended. I had to get back home but you stayed with your dad for a couple of weeks. When you went back home to stay with your mom I traveled down there to be with you." he looked at me again.

"We continued to be inseparable. When we walked we held hands, when we sat down we sat close, when we were standing you were in my arms, and when we felt like it we would hug or kiss. Your mom tried to split us up for a little while but we'd always find our way back to each other so eventually, she gave up. We spent the rest of our summer days together, enjoying life. You gave me the tour of your hometown, I took you on romantic dates, and we watched lots of movies." he smiled as he said this. "But, then that day came and it ruined everything." his smile immediately dropped and he looked away from me again.

He didn't say anything as he continuously ran his hand through his hair. I stayed quiet, letting him have a minute. I know this has to be hard on him. He loves me and he's telling me everything that happened that caused me to forget him. 

It's been a few minutes now and he still hasn't said anything. I scoot closer to him as I rack my brain trying to figure out a way to comfort him, I'm not good with this kind of stuff. I lay my hand on his cheek and gently pull him to face me. 

"Jess, if it's too hard, you don't have to tell me right now. I'll understand." I say in an almost whisper as I wipe away a small tear that had escaped from the corner of his eye.

"Thanks but I have to tell you. You need to know this and I need to get it off my chest or I'll never be able to move on." he wrapped my hand in his and smiled at me before standing. My eyes followed him as he walked over to my desk and began flipping a pencil around in his hands. He sat in the chair then began to speak.

"You had made a CD with all of our favorite songs on it for the road trip and we were jamming to it. You really got into it and you began dancing around in your seat as you sang along. You were so adorable." he gave a smile that disappeared just as quick as it appeared. "Then Don't You came on and you sang it to me in your perfect voice just like you did at finals. You kissed my cheek and I turned my head for a second to look at you and that's when..." he cut himself off. "You were the first to see it. I tried to swerve away but the semi was too close and it collided with your side of the car. I tried to get you away from the door but once it hit us you were ripped from my grip. As I was being thrown against car I could hear my bones breaking but the only pain I felt was the pain of seeing you hit your head then blacking out knowing that it was my fault. This is all my fault, from the wreck to the coma, and to the memory loss, all of it is on me. If I hadn't taken my eyes off the road you wouldn't be in the position you're in now and the woman I love would remember me. You may not think that I can feel your pain Bec but I can because the moment I heard those paramedics say that you might not live, I knew that my life was over. You're my life and without you, I'm nothing." I could hear the pain in his voice as he spoke and I just wanted to throw my arms around him.

I pushed back the urge to hug him just for it to come flying back when he started to cry into his hands. Again, I'm no good at this stuff but my instincts are telling me to hug him and I didn't fight them. I walked over to Jesse and placed my hand lightly on his shoulder. He looked up at me with those red puffy eyes and I dropped to my knees and held him in my arms. He seemed shocked at first and so was I but it didn't last long before he wrapped his arms around me tightly and rested his head on my neck.

It felt a little awkward on my part but it also felt sort of good. I sat there with him wrapped in my arms and it slowly became less awkward until, finally, I grew comfortable. I felt his grip loosen and his head remove from the crook of my neck as he pulled his eyes up to meet mine.

"I'm sorry." he said quietly. 

"It's ok." I said, my voice at the same volume as his. I let go of him and sat on the edge of my bed. "Look Jesse, there's something you have to understand. I do believe that we had something before my lack of memory became a problem but I also know that I don't feel that way anymore. Whatever I felt for you, whether it was love or not, it's gone along with the rest of my memories of you. I'm sorry but even if I do get my memories, how do you know if I will feel the same way before I lost them?" 

"I don't know, I believe. I believe in you and I believe in God."

"Maybe you shouldn't." my response took him by surprise. "It doesn't seem you're in God's good gracious right now and I'm not the type of person to believe in, I always let people down."

"God's just doing his job, life isn't supposed to be easy. And you, Beca you haven't let me down. Against all odds, you woke up from that coma and you agreed to try anything to get your memories back."

"You shouldn't have said that, it only makes this harder." He looked confused. "I'm letting you down now." I said, dodging his eyes. 

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I'm giving up."

"But you can't. You have to keep trying if-"

"If what? If I want my memories back?" I raised my voice as the frustration hit me. "Face it, Jesse! They're not going to come back. If they were, they would've done it by now. It's stupid to hold onto that thread of hope." I paused to calm down.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell but it's time to move on and create a new life. I've accepted it, why can't you?"

"Because I have faith and no matter what you say or do, I'm not giving up." I let out a sarcastic laugh.

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

"Then call me insane." he is determined to not give up and there's no use fighting it.

"Fine. Good luck piecing my brain back together. But be careful, it's a very dark and messy place to be." just then Stacie came flying through the door.

"Oh, sorry. Am I interrupting something?" she asked.

"No, I was actually just leaving." Jesse answered. I checked the time and saw that I had to get going as well, that's probably why Stacie was here.

"Actually, so am I. Let's go Stace, we've got a Riff Off to practice for." I said and quickly walked out the door. 

*Jesse's P.O.V.*

I watched Beca as she sped out of the room and down the hall.

"What happened?" Stacie asked when Beca was out of earshot.

"She's giving up."

"What about her memories?" 

"She doesn't believe she can get them back. The frustration has gotten to her and she's letting it control her."

That sucks. You're not going to let that stop you though, are you?" she asked as she eyed the look of determination on my face. I looked her in the eye and gave her a stern answer.

"H*ll no."


	17. Riff Off

*Jesse's P.O.V.*

Beca has been avoiding me since this morning. Luckily, I had been able to run into her at lunch but unluckily, her food got all over my favorite shirt as she literally ran into me. We hadn't been paying attention to what we were doing and we collided causing her tacos to smear into my shirt and her soda to soak my entire chest.

"God!" I partially yelled as I quickly pulled the shirt away from my chest.

"I'm so sorry." she grabbed some napkins and began cleaning the mess.

"Nice to know you still care." I said with a little smirk.

"I do have a heart, Jesse." she said keeping her eyes on what she's doing. I grabbed some napkins and started helping her.

"This isn't gonna come out." she said when we noticed wiping it was just smearing the grease even more. She took the napkins from my hand and threw them away. "Come on." she grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the restaurant.

"Take it off." she said when we were standing in the parking lot.

"What?"

"Your shirt, take it off."

"Why?"

"So I can get it washed." I was going to ask her another question but she quickly cut me off. "No more questions, just do it."

I looked at her for a moment longer studying her expression. I realized she was being dead serious so I shrugged and lifted my shirt over my head, being careful not to get the food on my face. When it was completely off I saw Beca look at my naked chest then quickly look away, biting the inside of her cheek.

"Here." I handed her my shirt.

"I'll get this returned to you as soon as possible." she grabbed the shirt and looked everywhere but at me.

"Why are you avoiding me?"

"I'm not."

"Then why won't you look at me?" she slowly slid her eyes up to meet mine.

"Happy?" she asked sarcastically.

"I will be when you tell me why you're avoiding me."

"I told you, I'm not avoiding you." I just gave her a look as if to say 'we both that's not true'. "Because you....well we....I mean I...." she sarcastically laughed at herself for stammering over the words.

"Ok, no candy coating it. I'm just going to give it to you straight." I nod. "I can't be around you. I don't want to be around you." those words coming from anyone else wouldn't bother me but coming from her, it feels like a sword through my heart.

"I-I don't understand." I stuttered as I tried to withdrawal the hurt from showing in my voice.

"I do like you, Jess. It's just the way you look at me that I don't like."

"How-" that's all I could get out but she knew what I was saying.

"You look at me with those brown eyes that are just filled with hope and determination. It's through your eyes that I can see how you truly feel. You're scared that maybe you can't help me. You say you're not giving up and that you know I can beat this but your eyes, they tell me a completely different story. Every time I look at you I feel as if, somehow, I'm letting you down and I can't stand that feeling. I don't want to hurt you Jesse and if I continue being around you and continue playing this game of hope I feel like all I'm doing is hurting you."

I can't believe she got all of that from my eyes.

"You're not hurting me, Bec."

"Tell that to your eyes." she said then headed to where the Bellas were calling for her. I could see my shirt shrivel up around her hand as she tightly clenched her hand around it.

How did I let this happen?

~Riff Off~

*Author's P.O.V.*

It's time for the Riff Off and people are piling around the pool to watch their favorite a Capella group compete for the microphone used by Hoobastank. The BU Harmonics, The Treblemakers, and The Barden Bellas are huddled together in their separate groups warming up while the Highnotes (Barden's 4th a Capella group) didn't even bother showing up.

Justin walks through the groups of singers and motions for the BU Harmonics to start the sirens, which is a Riff Off tradition. The Harmonics begin to use their a Capella talents to mimick the sounds of sirens.

"Welcome to the Riff Off!!" Justin yells as he always does. "Who's ready to get vocal?" the crowd erupts into cheers. "You know the rules, if your word does not match, you get-" he pauses and the crowd finishes his sentences, clapping twice and yelling 'cut off'. "If you don't come up with a song, you are-" the crowd finishes his sentence again. "And most importantly, if you suck, you are-" once again the crowd finishes his sentence.

"And our first category is.." he spins his projector wheel thing, "Love songs."

Jesse ran up but Stacie beat him to it. She began singing and the Bellas had her back.

Bellas: When I was younger I saw my daddy cry and curse at the wind. He broke his own heart and I watched as he tried to reassemble it. And my momma swore she would never let herself forget. And that was the day I promised I'd never sing of love-

One of the Harmonics cut them off, singing something other than Madonna for once.

Harmonics: Love like her cause lately I've been waking up alone paint splattered teardrops on my t-shirt. Told you I'd let them go and that I'll fight my corner. Maybe tonight I'll call ya. After my blood turns into alcohol. No I just wanna hold ya. Give a little time to me or burn this out. We'll play hide and seek to turn this around. All I was want is the taste that your lips allow. My, my, my, my, oh give me love. My-

Jesse cuts them off as he stares into Beca's eyes and sings to her.

Trebles: My head's under water but I'm breathing fine. You're crazy and I'm out of my mind. Cause all of me loves all of you. Your curves and all your edges. All your perfect imperfections. Give your all to me, I'll give my all to you. You're my end and my beginning, even when I lose I'm winning cause I give you all of me and you give me-

Suddenly, Chad jumps from the crowd into the pool of singers and cuts Jesse off. He directs his song to Beca as well as he tries dancing with her. The beauty of his voice shocked everyone but the insanity of his actions caused Jesse to boil with anger.

Chad: Me your, give me your, give me your attention baby. I gotta tell you a little something about yourself. You're wonderful, flawless, oo you a sexy lady. But you walk around here like you wanna be someone else. Oh whoa oh oh. I know that you don't know it but you're fine so fine (fine so fine). Oh whoa oh oh. Oh girl I'm gonna show you when you're mine all mine (mine all mine). Treasure. That is what you are. Honey, you're my golden star. You know you cab make my wish come true. If you let me treasure you. If you let me treasure you whoa oh ohhhh.

He ends his little performance with Beca firmly wrapped in his arms and their faces just inches away. Beca feels very awkward and she can't stop her gaze from drifting to Jesse who is being held back by Bumper and Benji. She lays her hands on Chad's chest and pushes him away.

"That was a great performance but, due to the fact that you're not in an a Capella group, you're not allowed to compete." Justin stepped in and began doing his job. "I also have to ask you to get out of the pool, only members are allowed down here."

Chad looks at Beca to see her watching Jesse. He places a light kiss on her cheek, startling her, then he climbs back up the ladder. Since Chad's presence is no longer in the pool, Jesse calms down a little bit.

"Sorry for the inconvenience. Let's check out our next category." Justin continues then spins his wheel again. "New school songs!"

Bumper immediately gets an idea and runs up only to be beat by Beca.

Bellas: I'm waking up to ash and dust I wipe my brow and I sweat my rust. I'm breathing in the chemicals. I'm breaking in, shaping up, then checking out on the prison prison bus. This is it, the apocalypse. Whoa. I'm waking up, I feel it in my bones enough to make my systems blow. Welcome to the new age, to the new age. Welcome to the new age, to the new age. Whoa oh oh oh oh, whoa oh oh oh. I'm radioactive, radioactive. Whoa oh oh oh oh, whoa oh oh oh. I'm-

Bumper cuts her off, getting his revenge.

Trebles: I'm so fancy, you already know. I'm in the fast lane, from L.A. to Tokyo. I'm so fancy. Can you taste the gold? Remember my name, about to blow. I said, "Baby, I do this , I thought that you knew this."Can't stand no haters and honest the truth is. And my flow retarded each beat did depart it. Swagger on stupid I-

Amy quickly cuts him off.

Bellas: I figured it out. I figured it out from black and white. Seconds and hours maybe they had to take some time. I know how it goes. I know how it goes from wrong and right. Silence and sound. Did they ever hold each other tight like us? Did they ever fight like us? You and I. We don't wanna be like them, we can make it til the end. Nothing can stand between you and I-

Benji, wanting to stop the torture of a One Direction song (no offense Directioners), cuts her off.

Trebles: I wanna love ya, I want you. And even though I can't forgive you, I really want ta. I want you. Tell me, tell me baby. Why can't you leave me? Cause even though I shouldn't want it, I gotta have it, i want you-

Something pops into her head and Cynthia Rose cuts him off.

Bellas: You know what to do with that big fat butt. Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle. Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle. Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle. Just a little bit of..swing. Patty cake, patty cake with no hands. Got me in this club making wedding plans. If I take pictures while you do your dance, I can make you famous on Instagram. Hot d#$mit. Your booty like two planets. Go head and go ham sammich. Whoa, I can't stand it. Cause you know what to do with that big fat butt. Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle. Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle. Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle. Just a little bit of...swing

Everyone loved this song choice and they all joined in, even the rival groups. Pretty soon the whole place echoed with dozens of different voices creating beautiful music as they did the wiggle.

"I think we have an obvious winner!" Justin says when the crowd calms down. "The Barden Bellas!" he hands the microphone to the Bellas as the crowd goes wild again.

The girls shriek with joy and Beca laughs at their excitement.

*Beca's P.O.V.*

We won and I can't help but laugh at the girls over excitement of something so lame.

"Congratulations." I hear a voice from behind me. I turn to see Jesse. The smile I was once carrying slowly disappeared as I remembered our conversation from earlier.

"Uh, thanks." Jesse gave me a warm smile. That smile turned into a tight frown when Chad was standing beside him.

"You were amazing, Beca." Chad complimented me. I gave him a small smile. Chad and Jesse gave each other a short stare down.

"You have a pretty good voice." Jesse tried being nice to Chad.

"Yeah." Chad blew him off and turned his attention to me. "So Beca, I don't think I can wait until Friday. Do you want to do something tonight?"

I didn't really feel like doing much of anything tonight, especially with him. I still haven't recovered all of my trust for him.

"Um, I actually still have plans with Jesse."

"What? That movie? That will only be about an hour, we can do something after."

"We're making it an all night thing." Jesse came to my rescue. "Looks like you have to wait until Friday." Chad looked from me to Jesse then rolled his eyes and walked away.

I watched him rejoin his friends then I decided to head back to my dorm.

"Beca wait." Jesse said as he fell into step with me.

"What?" I asked keeping my eyes on my path.

"I know what you said and I respect that but do you think I could hang at your dorm for tonight? Benji is having some of his magic buddies over and I really don't want to sit at home with a bunch of guys talking in terms that I don't understand. Please? You're the only other person I have that doesn't get on my nerves within the first hour."

I understand what that's like and it would be nice to have the company. The girls are going out then they're staying Stacie's, I'm not in the mood to get drunk off my a*s, so Amy won't be back until tomorrow.

"Yeah, sure." I answered.

"Really?" Jesse seemed surprised by my answer.

"Ya. I can deal with your mixed signals for one night. Besides, if you didn't come over I'd be lying to Chad and I despise liars."

"Great."

We walked in silence the rest of the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't want to be accused of copyright or anything so I am going to give credit to the real song owners right now. (In order of appearance in the Riff Off)
> 
> The Only Exception by Paramore
> 
> Give Me Love by Ed Sheeran
> 
> All of Me by John Legend
> 
> Treasure by Bruno Mars
> 
> Radioactive by Imagine Dragon
> 
> Fancy by Iggy Azalea
> 
> You & I by One Direction
> 
> Problem by Ariana Grande
> 
> Wiggle by Jason Derulo


	18. Mixed Signals

*Beca's P.O.V.*

After stopping at Jesse's dorm so he could grab some things that he insisted on getting, we finally made it to my dorm. It's been a long night and I just want to relax.

As soon as I hear the lock click I shove the door open and grab my pj's, tossing my keys onto my bed.

"I'm gonna go change, I suggest you do the same." I told Jesse then headed to the restroom.

When I came back I see Jesse had changed into his night clothes and he was sitting at my desk doing something with his phone. I reach across him for my laptop then toss it on my bed. I grab my brush and hair tie then throw my hair into a quick bun before getting comfortable on my bed.

"What are you doing?" he asked as he positioned himself beside me, looking at my laptop as I tapped the keys.

"Homework."

"I'm sorry, did I hear you right? Did you just say that you, Beca Mitchell, are doing homework?" he asked jokingly.

"Shut up." I said with a small smile on my face as I continued to type. Jesse leaned closer and read over my shoulder.

"This is very boring."

"Well it is a biographical essay about Stephen Hawkings and how he has impacted the world."

"Seriously, these essay assignments get stupider every time they're assigned. Everybody impacts the world in their own way but you don't see me writing about them."

"Really?" he gives me a little nod. "So tell me, how do you impact the world?"

"I love to sing." He explained.

"Sure."

"And my voice is so good that it can soothe someone suffering from cerebral palsy." I couldn't hold back the laugh.

"Yes because your voice is so gorgeous. It just draws me in with all of the sexiness. I mean it's literally taking all I have not to take you right here, right now." I said, being a smart a*s.

"I'd be ok with that." I laughed again as I nudged him away from me. He continued to chuckle as he went back to whatever he was doing on his phone.

*Minutes Later*

A few minutes later I had my essay typed, printed, and ready to be turned in. It was late so I decided it was time to go to bed. I replaced my laptop on my desk, plugging the charger into it, and grabbed the spare blanket and pillows from my closet.

"I'm gonna go to bed now. Here are some extra pillows and stuff." Jesse turns off his phone, places it on my desk, and, with a warm smile, he stands up and grabs the bed clothes from my hands.

"Thanks." he spreads them across the floor then crawls underneath the blanket. I flick the lights off and crawl underneath my own blankets.

I try to fall asleep but Jesse's presence alone makes it almost impossible. I don't know why, though. I feel comfortable with him here but I also feel weird and kind of suck a*s because he's sleeping on the floor and I have this weird longing for him to be closer to me. Looks like a no sleep kind of night for ol' Mitchell.

Trying to get comfortable, I roll over onto my stomach and let my hand dangle over the edge a little bit. Big mistake. I feel Jesse's fingers lightly brush over my fingertips sending little fire crackers igniting through my fingers. Then, he gently slides his fingers between mine, intertwining our hands and full fledged fireworks shoot through my hand.

"What are you doing?" I whispered, trying to ignore the excruciating sensation his touch is sending up my arm.

"I don't know." He whispered back. He began caressing my hand and the sensation became even more excruciating.

Ever have that happen to you before? Something feels good but yet it hurts? Yeah, that's happening to me right now and I don't know whether I like it or not. There's something about Jesse.

The fireworks suddenly stop as Jesse pulls his hand away and I immediately miss his touch. What the h*ll? Maybe I'm the one giving the mixed signals here.

"I'll be back. Don't miss me too much while I'm gone." He whispered as he stood up. I smiled, thankful he couldn't see it in the dark.

Light poured into the room as he opened the door, then went pitch black when he closed it again. I pulled my hand up and rested my fingers against my lips as I thought. Why does he do this to me? Why does it feel so excruciatingly sensational every time he touches me? I can't stand being around him but I can't stand being away from him. Oh my God, I have to figure out a way to deal with this.

I was pulled from my thoughts when Jesse reentered the room. My brain turned to mush as I eyed the wife beater (male tank top) he replaced his worn out Green Day t-shirt with. It clung to his body and outlined his biceps perfectly and I could hardly resist the urge to grab them. I'll deal with this tomorrow.

The light was swallowed by the darkness as he closed the door behind him but I could still make out his silhouette as he swiftly moved across the room. He laid back down in his make shift bed and for the next few minutes I could hear him rolling around, trying to get comfortable.

"Jesse." I whispered.

"Hmm?" I took a deep breath before continuing.

"Do you wanna, um, get up here?" I asked nervously.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. If you keep shuffling around down there neither of us will get to sleep." he takes a minute before answering.

"Um, yeah, ok." He answers.

I feel a breeze drift across me as he stands up. I scoot over as he slowly climbs into the bed beside me. He lays down and immediately gets comfortable.

"No spooning, though." I whisper getting a chuckle from him. Feeling a little better, I begin to fall asleep. I feel his eyes on me and I lay my hand over them. "Don't stare at me."

"I'm not staring, I'm gazing." He gently pulls my hand away from his eyes.

"It's weird."

"It's romantic." 

"Just go to sleep." I nudge his arm and roll over.

"Fine...buzzkill."

*Next Morning*

I woke up to find myself entangled in Jesse's arms. I looked down to see if untangling myself without disturbing him was possible, it wasn't. My legs were wrapped in his, his face was buried in my neck, his arm was draped over me, and my fingers were laced in his. We are officially spooning. I carefully turn my head to look at him. I take a second to just look. He's so peaceful and he's even....cute.

"Jesse." I begin saying his name multiple times until he finally wakes up.

"What?" he asks. He has a terrible morning voice.

"We're spooning." I answer.

He opens his eyes and lifts his head a little to examine our bodies that, in some way, morphed into one.

"Huh, looks like we are." He said then replaces his head back into the crook of my neck.

"Jesse."

"What?" he whines, his hot breath sending shivers down my spine.

"Come on, let go."

"Just a little longer."

"Jess-"

"You can't deny you like it." He said, untangling his hand from mine. "I can feel the goosebumps." He trails his finger up my arm.

"No, we gotta-" I stopped talking as I felt him pull my hair to the side and start placing light kisses along my neck.

I know I have to stop him but it feels so good. I close my eyes as I enjoy the feel of his lips pressing against my skin. His arm wraps around my waist as I feel his mouth close around my ear lobe. He rests his finger on my chin and gently pulls me to face him. I open my eyes to see him slowly leaning his head closer to mine. My heart begins beating at a rapid pace and my breathing started to speed up. Just as our lips were about to connect I placed my hands on his chest and pushed him off.

I scurry off of the bed and run to Amy's side of the room. I begin to pace and rake my hands through my hair.

"So much for no spooning." Jesse says as he throws his feet over the edge of the bed. I glance at him as I continue pacing. "Becs, it's not a big deal. Calm down."

I ignored him. He grabbed me by my arms and stopped me.

"Hey. Stop." I looked up at him. "Don't worry about it. It's normal, Beca. I know you don't remember us but we still have a connection. I can feel it and I know you can feel it, too. But, if you still want to give up, I'll stop I'll forget this happened and we can just be friends."

"Really?" I asked, shocked by his offer.

"Yeah. Beca, I love you too much to lose you. So if this whole thing is too much then we can just slow down, I'd rather have you as a friend than not have you at all." I take a minute to think. No matter what I say, I don't want to lose him so I have to make this work.

"Jesse, I want my memories back but I can't handle the whole boyfriend ordeal, it's just a little too much. If you'd be willing to just be my friend, not boyfriend, and help me then I'd be willing to give this one last chance."

"You sure?"

"Yeah." I said with a nod. "But, if it doesn't work out or it just becomes too much then it's over, for good. I don't think I can handle much more of this bullsh*t. And no more spooning, like at all, that screws with my head more than anything."

"Got it. Just friends." he said and held his arms out. "What? Friends hug, too."

I shrugged my shoulders then walked into his arms. I rested my head on his chest and wrapped my arms around his back ans he wrapped his arms around my shoulders. He rested his chin on my head and stroked my hair.

"See, friendly." I closed my eyes and just enjoyed the little fireworks his touch sends through me.

This feels so good and if there's even the slightest chance that I can remember him and have this back, I'm willing to do it.

*Jesse's P.O.V.*

Beca is sending me lots of mixed signals but I can deal with it if it means she's still in agreeance to get her memories back. As I hold her in my arms I can feel the electricity flowing through my body. Letting go of her didn't seem like an option. Then I felt her hands slide down my back until they rested on the waistline of my pants and slipped under my shirt, causing a little friend of mine to threaten to show up, which would only make this awkward.

Still not wanting to let go of her I tried to convince myself that I had to, but nothing worked. I talked myself into letting go then I talked myself back into her holding her. I can't pull myself away from her and it's going to get so awkward in a minute.

"Beca! Where's the ibuprofen? I've got a serious headache." Amy burst through the door, startling us. Beca immediately pulled out of my grip and got the medicine as Amy sprawled across her bed.

"Jesse? What are you doing here?" Amy asked, her voice sounding a little muffled as her face was smooshed against her mattress.

"Uh, just stopped by to say hi." I answered.

"In your pajamas?"

"He stayed the night." Beca interjected as she handed Amy a couple pills and a glass of water. "We didn't really feel like spending our night alone and we weren't about to get drunk off our a*s so we spent our night together, here."

"You guys are lame. Getting drunk is fun." Amy said as she tossed the medicine into her mouth and washed it down with water.

"Oh really?" Beca clapped her hands together causing Amy to wince. "Is it fun now?" Amy responded by throwing a pillow at her. Beca chuckled as she picked the pillow up and tossed back at her.

"Ok, I'm gonna head out." I said.

"Bye." She said as I placed a light kiss on her cheek.

"See you later." I said as I ruffled her hair. "Bye Amy." She grumbled into her pillow.

~

"Hey, you didn't come home last night. Where were you?" Benji asked as I stepped into our dorm.

"At Beca' s." I said, collapsing onto my bed.

"All night?" I nodded. "So are you..did she..."

"No and no but she does believe we were together. That's a start."

"Yeah. Is there anything I can do to help?"

"I don't think so, I don't think anyone can."

"Well, if something pops up give me a holler." He said as he gave me a quick fist bump then left the room.

I closed my eyes and thought. Images of Beca played across the inside of my eyelids and her voice echoed in my ears. A smile forms on my face.

But, if it doesn't work out or it just becomes too much then it's over, for good.

Beca's words twirled around in my head causing my smile to disappear. This is my last chance to make everything right. It has to be perfect, nothing can get between us. I have to keep any and all obstacles away from her, starting with Luke and that d*mn love struck ex.


	19. Dreams

*Beca' s P.O.V.*

"But what we found out is each one of us is a brain, and an athlete, and a basketcase, a princess, and a criminal. Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, the breakfast club."

I watch Jesse as he mouths the words then I see his fist. He does this every time we watch this, like he's Judd Nelson or something. I smile at his nerdiness. He catches me looking at him and I giggled a little.

"Like your view?" He asked. Instead of answering I just leaned in and pressed my lips against his.

I felt his hand cup my cheek as he slid his lips over mine. His hot breath warmed my cheek and his tongue danced gracefully with mine. He removed his hand from my cheek and wrapped it around my waist, pulling me closer and deepening the kiss. I straddled his lap and he held me against him.

I giggled into his mouth as he fell forward and pressed my back against the bed. He hovered just an inch above me as he continued shoving his tongue into my mouth, in a good way. I gently nudged him away and pulled his shirt over his head. I tossed it on the floor then grabbed the back of his neck and crashed his lips back onto mine. His hands found their way to my shirt and he began undoing the buttons to my button down flannel. (Like the flannel Anna wore in Happy Christmas.)

As soon as he finished off the last button I rolled over. I smiled at him as I viciously pulled my shirt of my body and tossed it in some unknown part of the room. I vigorously kissed him and began unbuckling his belt. I whipped it out of the loops and I heard it cling against the mirror as I tossed it behind me.

He flipped me over and began kissing my neck. In no time, he found my sweet spot and continuously kissed it as he lightly traced his fingers up and down my bare abdomen. I pulled his head up and crashed my lips to his. We rolled again and I hit the floor....waking myself up.

I slowly opened my eyes and disappointment flushed through my body as I realized it was just a dream. I laid there and let the cold of the floor soothe the burn of my skin. Every part of me yearned for Jesse and the more time we spend together, the stronger it gets.

At first it felt like little fireworks but as the weeks pressed on, full on house fires ignited inside of my body. It was just this week that the dreams started and I'm more confused now than ever.

"Did you have another one of those dreams?" I heard Amy's voice then saw the light on her night stand flick on.

"Yeah." I said quietly, still laying on the ground.

Amy's the only one that knows about these dreams and she wouldn't know if it wasn't for the fact that her being my roommate made it hard for me to keep it secret. I heard her get out of bed then I felt her hands grab my arms and lift me off the ground.

"Sh*t, you're burning up."

"I know."

"And it's all from that dream?"

"Yup." one word answers seem to be the only things I can manage to say.

"You have to tell Jesse, Beca."

"No!" See?

"He might be able to help."

"How?" God I hope I regain control over my senses soon.

"I don't know but then again I don't know how his weird ways ever help you, no one really does. He's Jesse and he does Jesse things that help you." I thought about it for a moment. "You're not saying anything because you know I'm right, talk to him."

"I hate you." I said in a joking voice.

"Only because I'm always right and you're always wrong."

"F*ck you." I continued in the joking tone.

"You would. There's no resisting this sexy fat a*s." We laughed together. "I'm going to go back to bed, try not to fall off of your bed again."

"Don't worry, there's no way I'm falling back to sleep tonight." I said as I collapsed onto my bed.

I stared at the ceiling as I heard Amy crawl back into bed and turn her light off. She's right. I have to tell Jesse about these dreams, but how? I can't just come out and say 'Jesse, I've been having sexy dreams about you that make me hot with desire and you have no idea how much I want to just rip your clothes off and devour you.' That makes me cringe.

Maybe this isn't real, maybe it's just something I need to just get passed. I have been spending most of my days with him, maybe we need to just take some time apart. Yeah, that might work. He's not going to be happy.

*Jesse's P.O.V.*

"Apart? But we're closer than we've been in a while. I thought we were having fun, are you not having fun?" Beca told me that she thinks we need to spend the day apart.

"This is hard to explain."

"You're not having fun, are you?"

"No, that's not it. I have had so much fun with you it's just, tension."

Tension? Of course there's tension, I've got a tremendous amount of strain over my head on getting these memories back.

"Not the kind of tension you're thinking." she said as if she read my mind.

"Then what?"

"Jesse I've been having these dreams about you for the past week." her words shocked me. "They're kind of hot and steamy if you get what I'm saying."

I thought for a moment, then it hit me. Sexual tension.

"You mean, sex?" she didn't say anything, she just reverted her eyes from mine. I couldn't stop the smirk that formed on my face. "You dream about having sex with me?"

She clears her throat. "Yeah." she glanced at my eyes then around the room.

"Well, uh." I tried to think of something to say. "Do you like it?"

"I don't know, we never finish. I always end up waking up, usually by falling onto the floor as I act it out." that's not what I meant but I'm not going to push.

"You act it out?"

"Involuntarily. I'm asleep, I don't have control over myself. Look, we're getting off subject."

"Right. So you think spending some time apart will help you stop having these dreams?" I asked putting myself in her line of view.

"I don't know, maybe." she answers.

"Then, I guess we could try it." I unwillingly surrendered. I don't want to spend time apart but I don't want to make her uncomfortable.

"Thank you." I pulled her into a hug.

She held me tight and I started to feel better because something about the way she held me told me that she didn't really want to spend time apart either.

*Chad's P.O.V.*

Beca texted me and told me to meet her here and I am feeling kind of anxious. She usually spends this time of day hanging out with Jesse so I wonder what's wrong.

"Hey." I heard Beca as she wrapped her arms around me from behind.

"Hey, everything ok?" I asked as she walked around in front of me

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, what's wrong? You're usually with Jesse right now."

"Nothing's wrong, we just think we need to take some time apart."

"Why?"

"It's kind of personal but I need to try and get him out of my head, at least for the day."

I'm still curious but one thing I know about Beca, don't press for answers. She will shut you down, hard.

"Alright then. What do you want to do?" I asked.

"I don't know."

"What do you and Jesse do?"

"We don't have any specific things, it's just whatever we feel like doing that day."

"Ok, well let's go then."

*Beca's P.O.V.*

Chad is showing me how to operate the app he is creating and I'm trying to pay attention but I can't stop thinking about Jesse. I miss him.

"Beca, you listening?"

"Huh? I'm sorry, Chad. You've got my full attention now." I said as I studied his computer. "So this is the designing thingy majig?"

"Beca, you got to get him off your mind." Chad said, ignoring my question.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry."

"Yes, this is the designing tool. I just click and drag it into any shape that I want and..."

My mind ran back to Jesse and Chad noticed. He clapped his hands loudly in front of my face, pulling me back to reality.

"I'm sorry, Chad but I can't do this. I just, I got to go." I stood from the blanket were laying across and ran back to the dorms.

I can't handle this, I have to see Jesse. I make it to his dorm and begin rapidly beating on the door.

"Beca?" he says my name when he opens the door.

I kick the door shut and attach my lips to his. He's shocked but it doesn't last long before he rips my shirt off and picks me up. My legs naturally wrap around his waist as he pushes me against the wall. I moan as he grinds himself against me.

He immediately begins unbuttoning my pants as I begin unbuttoning his shirt. (Like plaid shirt he wore during the Riff Off.) He pulled away from the wall and dropped me onto the bed. He pulls his shirt off before leaning over me and kissing his way up my chest. He pulls my pants off then crashes his lips to mine.

Suddenly, I jerk up. I notice I'm fully clothed, soaked in cold sweat, and the only person in the room is Amy. My skin feels like its burning and I have that familiar desire. It was a dream. I spent the whole day with Chad, no sight of Jesse, and the intensity of these dreams hasn't decreased one bit.

Sh*t! I think I'm falling for Jesse...again.


	20. Can't Get Him Outta My Head

*Beca's P.O.V.*

"A week?!"

I told Amy about my failed attempt at ending these dreams. She has come up with her own experiment and I do not like it.

"Amy, I don't think I can go a week without talking to Jesse. I could barely go a day."

"What's with you?"

"What? Nothing. He's just fun to be with." So maybe I didn't tell her that I might be falling for him but she doesn't need to know everything.

"Ok. Look, it's only a week and if it doesn't help then we'll figure out something else. But, for now, it's all we've got."

"What am I supposed to do for a week?"

"You could try studying for some of your classes." she suggested.

I gave her a get real look as I replied, "Do you have any realistic suggestions?"

"I don't know, Beca. Make mixes, take extra shifts at the radio station, or spend more time with that yummy ex of yours. I don't care as long as it's not related to Jesse in any way."

"But the radio station is linked to Jesse." I pointed out.

"Want me to make your sentence longer?" she asked, sounding like my mother. "The rest of the Bellas and I are going to the club, you're welcome to join us if you'd like."

"The club? Again?How many drunken mistakes and hangovers does it take to make you realize that maybe you shouldn't be there?" I asked, disapproving of their choice in activity.

"Is that a no?" I gave her a duh look. "Ok. If you change your mind you know where to find us."

"Yeah, dead in a ditch somewhere or flipped in the road." I smarted off but she ignored me.

"I'm out. Remember, no Jesse." she said then closed the door behind her.

Here it is. The start of my long, hard, boring journey with no Jesse. I fell back on my bed and stared up at the ceiling.

Boredom.

That's what my life is without Jesse. His long movies and weird antics keep me sane. I may go crazy before this week ends. I have got to find something un-Jesse related to do, if there is anything.

~

"Hi Luke."

"Beca? What are you doing here? You're not scheduled in for today, are you?" Luke asked as I walked into the radio station.

"No, I just, Jesse and I are taking some time apart and I really have nothing else to do so..."

"You have nothing to do when you're not with Jesse?"

"No, that's not it. I have to find something to keep my mind off of him."

"I don't think here is the best place to do that." I was about to ask him why when his reasoning appeared from behind the shelves.

"Jesse." I said quietly when I saw him.

"Hey Bec."

If you're wondering, Jesse does know about Amy's "rule". She let him text him and explain so he doesn't think I'm trying to avoid him.

"You gave him his job back?" I asked Luke.

"Yeah. I need the extra help and don't have time to train someone new so I rehired your boyfriend."

"He's not my boyfriend." I quickly corrected him.

"She's right, I'm not. You should probably go, Bec. You don't want Amy to catch you." I nodded and turned to leave. Before I could step out of the door, Luke stopped me.

"If you need to get Jesse off of your mind I think I might be able to help you with that." he said, giving me a weird look. I quickly realized what he meant.

"Thanks for the offer but I'm not that desperate." that came out a little more insulting then I intended but he didn't seem to notice.

"Well, if you change your mind, you know how to find me." I gave him a fake smile as I pushed the door open and left in a rush.

*Luke's P.O.V.*

She actually bought it. I didn't give Jesse his job back because I needed help, I gave it back so I'd be on Beca's good graces again. I over heard those girls in her a capella group talking about Beca and Jesse needing to spend some time apart and I figured this is my chance. I haven't bothered them since Jesse gave me that shiner and I think now would be the perfect time to swoop in and finish what I started. She's vulnerable and in the need of assistance, which makes it easier for me. Her girl friends can't assist her because they don't have the necessary tools but I do and with Jesse out of the way it should be no problem getting what I want.

"She doesn't forgive you." the sound of Jesse's voice pulled me from my thoughts.

"Excuse me?"

"Beca." he looked at me. "She doesn't forgive you. You may have given me my job back but that doesn't garauntee forgiveness."

"No, but it's a start. Now get back to work." I said then stepped inside of the booth.

"What are you planning?" Jesse asked before I could completely enter the booth. I smirked as I slowly turned to face him.

"I'm not planning anything, I just want to help her. She has no one else. You can't do it because you have to stay away from her. Her friends can't because they don't know what to do."

"And you do?"

"As a matter of a fact, I do. I'm just waiting for her to tell me when she needs it." he gave me a look. "Yes, it's what you're thinking." he let out a little chuckle.

"Good luck. She'll never go for it." he went back to stacking CDs as I went back into the booth.

He won't be so confident when his little girlfriend comes crawling to me begging for me to help her. He'll hear every detail and I'll laugh at my victory as he cries like a little girl over his lost love. This is going to be so fun.

*Chad's P.O.V.*

"Chad! Stop guessing! I'm not telling you why I'm spending a week without Jesse and you're getting very annoying."

"Come on. Why won't you tell me?"

"Because, it's personal. Besides, I'm supposed to be getting him out of my mind and you sitting here bugging me about him isn't helping."

She's right. She came over here for help and all I've done is the complete opposite.

"You're right, I'm sorry. I let the curiosity get the best of me."

"Curiosity killed the cat." she replied.

"Tell me about it. It looks like you want to beat me with that bat you're holding." I looked at her for a minute then took the bat. "Just in case." she chuckled and rolled her eyes.

"Alright, show me how this thingy you're making works." she pointed to the app I was creating on my laptop.

~

It took an hour or two but I finished explaining and creating the app.

"Wow, that's confusing. Why do you do this?"

"It's a passion of mine, just like making mixes and singing a capella are your passions." I answered.

"You have a confusing passion."

"So do you?"

"I'm creating music, not an entire app. I doubt it's even close to as confusing as yours."

"To you maybe."

"Ok, I'm going to head out. Thanks for not letting me die of boredom." she said with a smile.

"Welcome." I said as she pulled the door shut behind her.

I realize she's kind of using me as a booty call. I'm just here when she needs me but I can't complain. At least I get to spend time with her and it's not always because she needs someone to keep her mind off of Jesse. We are friends and we do spend time together as friends. What I wouldn't do to be more than friends, though.

*Beca's P.O.V.*

This day is going by terribly. It's very boring and Chad explaining every last detail of his app creating process just made it worse. I tried to be nice but I couldn't take it any longer. Between the boredom and constant thoughts of Jesse, I think I might rip my hair out.

I'm now sitting in the quad doing the one thing that I love....making mixes. It's calmed me down a little. I finished the mix I had been working on and decided to rest as I listened to it. I plugged my headphones in and laid across the ground. I saw Jesse and another Treble throwing a ball back and forth. I know I shouldn't but I can't help myself so, I watch him.

Before I know it, I start to doze off until I feel a presence beside me. I open my eyes just enough to see Jesse looking down at me. He kneels down beside me as I pull my headphones off and sit up. He just looks at me without saying anything. It gets a little weird until he leans forward and smashes his lips to mine.

I pull his sweat soaked shirt off of him and he leans forward until my back is pressed against the ground. He kissed down my neck then back up until his lips reconnected with mine. He kisses me slowly then I open my eyes just for him to vanish, leaving me staring up at the ceiling above my bed.

I slowly sit up expecting to see Amy fast asleep in her bed. Instead, I see Jesse sitting at the foot of mine.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I had to see you."

"But we can't, I've got to get you out of my head."

"We both know that's not going to happen." he said with a smirk.

"What do you mean?" he moved up the bed until his face was positioned just inches away from mine.

"I mean, you're in love with me." my eyes flicked to his lips then back to his eyes.

"No I'm not." I began to lean closer to him.

"Then don't kiss me." he whispered against my lips.

I tangled my hands in his hair as I pressed my mouth against his. He kissed me hard and passionately as his hands slid up my shirt and unlatched my bra. He pulled away for a second as he pulled my shirt and bra off. I retangled my hands in his hair as he kissed up my chest then crashed his lips back onto mine.

I wrapped my legs around him as he laid me flat against the bed. He burried his head into my neck and kissed it. Within no time he found my sweet spot and my hands tightened in his hair.

"I love you." I whispered in his ear.

"Beca, wake up!!" Amy's voice scared me. I jerked up causing myself to fall onto the floor at her feet.

"It's worse." she pulled me off the floor before ordering me to explain.

"It was a dream within a dream. And, in the dream, I think I said I love him."

"Do you?" she asked.

"No. I don't know." I couldn't give one sincere answer. "I was still thinking about him a lot today, maybe that's the problem. Maybe, I need to do something a little more extreme to get him off my mind."

"Like what? Two weeks without him?" Amy asked.

I thought for a minute, then it hit me. Without another word to Amy I ran out of the dorm and to the radio station.

"-music for the independent mind." I heard Luke say as I entered the building. Music started and Luke came out of the booth.

He didn't notice me right away and that's good because I needed time to process what I was about to do. What I'm thinking is very extreme but I can't help thinking that maybe it's a little too extreme. I don't have much time to think it completely through because he looks over at me.

"Beca. I didn't see you there. Can I help you?"

"Yes."

I walked over to him and pulled him into a kiss.


	21. Old Flames

*Beca's P.O.V.*

"What are you doing?" Luke asked, pulling away.

"Are you really questioning it?" I asked, avoiding the question. How am I supposed to tell the guy that I am using him solely based on the fact that he doesn't care about anybody else's feelings? Instead of continuing to question me he smiled then kissed me again.

He lifted me onto the desk and stood between my legs. His hands began to explore my body as his tongue continued to explore my mouth. I opened my eyes as he kissed my neck and started to push my jacket off. He had my jacket halfway off before I stopped him.

"Wait. I don't know if I can do this." he sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Come on, Beca. You can't lead me on like this then just stop." 

"I'm sorry, Luke but some of us actually have a heart."

"Look, you want him out of your head right? This is one of the most effective ways to do that." I thought for a moment then gave him a reluctant nod. He picked up where he left off, kissing me ferociously. 

He pushed my jacket completely off followed by my shirt. He laid me across the desk then climbed on top of me. He pulled his shirt off then placed a quick kiss on my lips before trailing down my jawline to my neck. This is the perfect way to have my first time. On a desk, in a radio station, with a guy I don't love for no reason but to get the guy that I think I'm falling for off of my mind. There's no way this can get better (note the sarcasm). 

He soon goes from my neck to my chest. This does not feel right. Every time I feel his lips press against my skin, only one thing comes to my mind.....Jesse. This is wrong, I don't want to do this like this. My first time is supposed to be special, not just to get some guy out of my head. I don't even want Jesse out of my head anymore. I like having him in there, I'm ok with having these dreams, and I just want to be with Jesse. H*ll, I think I might even want this to be with Jesse.

"Stop." I said as I pushed Luke off of me. I jumped off the desk and pulled my jacket on, zipping it up to cover my lady bits. I don't know where my shirt landed when he threw it and I don't care. I just want to leave, I don't want to spend any longer in here.

"Beca." Luke started to say something but I ignored him and ran out. 

As I ran I kept thinking about how this would've been a huge mistake, probably the biggest mistake I would have ever made. I can't stop the bad feeling I get when I think about what almost happened and I have got to get to someone that I know won't judge me for my mistake. I push aside the fact that I'm running out of breath as I continue to run.

I speed up when I see Jesse's dorm and, instead of knocking, I push the door open and run into Jesse's arms. Not expecting the impact of my body hitting his, he struggles to keep his balance. He quickly grabs the wall behind him for support as he wraps his other arm around my back. After regaining his balance, he wrapped his other arm me. He burried his head in my neck and just held me tight, as if he knew that I didn't want to talk about it.

*Jesse's P.O.V.*

I had just finished pulling on my pajamas when my door flew open and Beca ran into my arms. I almost fell over but I quickly grabbed the wall for support. When I regained my balance I wrapped my arms around Beca. I sensed she didn't want to talk so I just burried my head in her neck and held her tight. I rubbed my hands up and down her back and her body pressed into mine a little more.

"I did something bad, Jesse." she whispered in my ear.

"Wanna talk about it?" I whispered. She pulled away from me and sat on my bed. Before joining her, I closed the door and grabbed a bottle of water out of the mini fridge.

"Thanks." she said when I opened the bottle and handed it to her. She took a big gulp as I sat beside her.

"Ready to talk?" I asked, wiping a droplet of water off of her chin.

"Yeah." she took a deep breath then everything just came pouring out.

She talked about her struggle to keep me off of her mind, her activities with Chad, her dream within a dream, and Luke. I wasn't happy to hear about her adventure with Luke but I let it pass, she did stop him before anything to serious happened.

"I just, I thought I could do it, you know? I tried everything else but nothing worked. No matter what I did or who I hung out with the only person I thought about was you." she explained.

"Did you ever think that maybe you didn't want me out of your head?" I asked.

"Yeah, I did. When Luke was....I thought about you. I know I was just using Luke to try and get you out of my head and I realized I didn't want you out of my head. I like having you in there."

"I like having you in mine, too." she smiled at my remark before she continued to talk.

"Jesse, I'm going crazy not being able to see you. I thought the dreams would be hard to deal with but I was wrong. I can handle the dreams but I can't handle thinking about you and not being able to see you."

"Beca, I'm so happy you feel that way. Please, call off this stupid thing and hang out with me again." she smiled and I pulled her into my arms.

"I missed this." she said into my chest. I smiled as I ran my fingers through her hair. We continued to hold each other until I noticed the clock on my nightstand said 12:00 a.m.

"I think we should probably go to bed." I pointed at the clock and Beca looked at it.

"Wow. I didn't realize it was that late."

"Me either. Do you prefer t-shirts or flannels?" I asked, my question surprising her.

"What?"

"For bed. Do you prefer to wear flannel or a t-shirt? Or you can just wear that jacket if you'd like."

"T-shirt." she answered. I walked over to my closet and pulled out one of my t-shirts.

"Here." I handed it to her. She gave me a look then stood up. I turned around so my back was facing her and waited for her to change.

"Ok, let me just go over the rules so I'm clear. No spooning. Is that it?" I asked when we were under the covers. She giggled and I took that as my answer. "Good night, Beca."

"Good night, Jesse." I turned the lamp on my nightstand off and curled into bed.

"Are you mad at me?" I almost couldn't hear the sound of Beca's of voice because it was so low.

"Why would I be mad?" I asked, my voice in the same level of volume.

"Because of what I did with Luke. I know you don't like him and I still, you know, did what I did."

It was dark but I could still see the outline of her face as she looked over at me. I carefully pushed a strand of hair behind her ear and caressed her cheek with my thumb.

"Of course I'm not mad. I was a little hurt when you first told me but nothing really happened. Besides, we are just friends right?" It hurt me to say the 'friend' part but this is how she wants it. It was quiet for a minute before she answered.

"Thanks." she said in regular volume. I ran my hand down her arm before tucking it back under my chin.

Minutes passed and we laid there in complete, sleepless, silence. Neither of us moved a muscle and I'm pretty sure I could see the glint the moonlight makes as it hits her eye. I stare at her, wishing that I could see her beautiful face through the darkness. I move my hand more into the middle of the bed and I feel my finger brush against hers. 

I lay completely still as I feel her begin to move around. Instead of rolling over or moving farther away, she lifts my arm up and positions herself underneath of it. She curls up against my chest and I can hear her breathing change as she slowly falls asleep. I drape my arm across her, press my head against hers, and fall asleep.

~  
I woke up with Beca still snuggled into my chest. I smiled and gently pushed her hair behind her ear.

"Good morning." her voice startled me.

"Sh*t, you scared me." not moving from her position, she smiled at me. "How long have you been awake?"

"Few minutes."

"Why haven't you moved?"

"Comfortable." she looked up at me. "Why haven't you moved?" I just shrugged my shoulders and wrapped my arms around her again. She snuggled into my chest and picked at my shirt. "We should do this more."

"As friends right?" I asked, rolling my eyes. She pulled her head up off of my chest and looked at me. She leaned forward and kissed me.

"Why did you...?"

"I don't know." she said then kissed me again.

She pulled herself up to hover above me as she continued to kiss me, very passionately. I cupped her cheek in one hand and wrapped my other hand around her waist. Her hair gently fell against my face and I held her close.

"Jesse! Beca! Open up!" Luke yelled as he banged on the door.

Beca pulled away and looked at me before jumping over the edge of the bed and opening the door.

"Yeah? What?"

"I brought this by, I thought you would want it back." he handed her her shirt.

"Thanks." she said as she grabbed it. "How did you know I was here?"

"Wild guess." he said then I heard him walk away. She closed the door and turned back to me.

"Sorry about....that."

"It's cool, you can't control what Luke does." I said even though I knew what she was actually referring to.

"I meant before that."

"I know." I swung my feet over the edge of the bed and faced her. "I know you don't know why you kissed me but there's no need to apologize. You can do whatever you feel you need to do. Every little thing has the possibility to help you remember."

"Thanks." she set her shirt on my bed and flopped down beside me, her arm brushing against mine.

"Things in my head are just jumbled into this huge blob and I don't know what I want. I get these urges and the only way to figure out if they're really what I want is to just..do it." she explained. I gave an understanding nod.

"So, how did you feel?" I asked.

"What do you mean?"

"How did you feel kissing Luke compared to kissing me?" she sighed and looked away from me.

"I knew it was just a matter of time before you asked me this." she looked at me again. "If I tell you, you can't get all mooshy on me."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Really?" I just looked at her. "You just, you give me those eyes."

"You mean the confident ones that make it hard for you to be around me?"

"No. These ones are different. They're all cute and mooshy and they make me want to kiss you. Just don't do them." I chuckled a little.

"I'll try not to." she took a deep breath.

"It was ok, with Luke. He was rough a time or two but all in all he's pretty talented with his lips. But with you-" she stopped and directed her eyes to the wall behind me.

"With me what?" she quickly glanced at me then looked back at the wall.

"It was amazing." she said quickly and quietly.

"Really?" I asked, trying to fight back the smirk.

"Yeah. You're never too rough, you're soft and slow with it, and it feels like you just put so much love into it. When I kiss you, it's like I'm having a mouthgasm." we couldn't hold back a chuckle at that.

"Well, do you want to have another mouthgasm? Because I would so be up for it."

"I know I should say no but....eh, what the h*ll?" she smiled as I leaned in and lightly pressed my lips against his.

"This is probably going to just make things between us more confusing." I said against her lips.

"Probably. Just kiss me." I smiled as I closed my lips around hers.

We probably shouldn't be doing this. It could just lead to more confusing thoughts than clear ones. But, I can't help myself. She's so cute and I just had to taste her again and feel that familiar sensation thunder through me as her body presses into mine. Oh how I long to have this back.

*Aubrey's P.O.V.*

"Don't you think it's a little late to just pop up? I mean, she's been out of the hospital for like, what, a month now."

Chloe is going crazy making these plans to go back to Barden University to see Beca. I don't see the big deal. Sure, she had gotten into a wreck that put her in a coma and gave her memory loss but, I don't see how that's my problem.

"It doesn't matter how long she's been out, Aubrey. It matters that she's my friend and I want to be there for her."

"Why didn't you say that about a month ago?"

"Better late than never."

"Sure." I flipped the page of the magazine I was reading. She stopped packing her suitcase and turned to look at me, giving me that aggravated ginger look. "What?"

"Can you stop degrading Beca at least for a minute and take a careful look at her situation?"

"Aca-scuse me?" she put her hands on her hips as I stood from my bed. "I am not degrading Beca. I know she's in a rough spot right now but there's nothing we can do about it."

"Oh please, it's no secret that you've never really liked Beca."

"You're kidding, right? Half of Beca' s brain has been turned into ground beef and you're choosing now to discuss my feelings about her?!" I started to raise my voice.

"Yes, I am. Your feelings about Beca are very important right now. She is in a very difficult situation and she needs her friends, not the evil b*tch that made her life miserable because her mad lib beats threatened your position as Bella leader."

"Oh really?! You want to talk about feelings for Beca? How about we talk about yours?"

"I don't know what you mean?"

"I know you're crushing on her."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh come on, Chloe. I see the way you look at her and there's that way your eye twitches when somebody even mentions Jesse."

"It does not!"

"Oh really?" I stepped closer to her and looked her dead in the eye. "Jesse...Jesse...Jesse." her eye twitched every time.

"Stop it!" she turned back to her bag and dropped her head into her hands. "Look, I'm pushing my feelings aside and I'm going to be there for her. Can't you just push aside whatever resentment you have for the two and just be there for our friend?"

I thought for a minute. I am being a little unfair. Beca was there to help when I didn't know what to do and she was a pretty loyal Bella. I don't hate her but I do feel a little envious. She was able to throw songs together with very little effort and bring us to victory at the finals.

"You're right, I'm sorry. We should be there for Beca."

"Really?" she asked and faced me again. I gave her a warm smile and nodded. "Thanks, Bree." she said then gave me a big hug.

~

We are standing in the auditorium waiting for the girls to show up. After about 10 minutes, the doors open and and Fat Amy walks in, followed by the rest of the girls. They seemed to be deep into a conversation and as they got closer I made out the words Beca and Jesse.

"How is my little leader anyway?" I asked, getting their attention.

"Aubrey!" the girls yelled in unision.

"And Chloe." Chloe added as she appeared from behind the white board. We took a minute to catch up.

"So, where is Beca?" Chloe asked when the talking died down.

"I don't know, she went out last night and didn't come back." Amy answered.

"What? You let her go out all alone in her state of mind? What if she's dead in a ditch somewhere?" Chloe started to freak out.

"She's not dead, she's right here." Beca's voice sounded from the doorway. Chloe immediately ran to her and wrapped in her in a big hug.

"Where have you been? Why didn't you come home last night?" Amy asked as Beca struggled to loosen herself from Chloe's grip.

"I was with Jesse. Chloe could you let go?" Chloe let go of her and apologized.

"All night? What happened to trying to get him out of your head?" Stacie interjected.

"Why would you be trying to get him out of your head? Aren't you supposed to want your boyfriend in your head?" this is seriously confusing.

"He's not my boyfriend. We decided that him being my boyfriend right now is just too much to handle. He's agreed to just being friends until we get this memory thing sorted out." Beca's explanation was followed by an explanation from Stacie.

"And, to answer your first question, she's been trying to rid her head of him in hopes of executing the sexy dreams she's been having of him." Beca, now standing with the group, gave Stacie an angered look. Chloe and I looked at each other then at Beca.

"What the h*ll?" we asked simultaneously.

~

"So you guys broke up, you almost had sex with Luke and you're dreaming about Jesse?" I asked after Beca explained everything.

"Sounds about right."

"Wow, ok, you know what? This is stupid." Beca was shocked by my response. "As much as I resent it, you and Jesse were so in love. How is keeping him at a distance supposed to help you?"

"You are not up here, Aubrey." Beca gestured to her head. "It doesn't make sense to me either but it helps. I just need to keep him and Luke at an appropriate distance until I can figure things out."

"But close enough so you can almost screw Luke and still have a make out session with Jesse, right?"

"You know what? F*ck you, Aubrey. You don't understand what it's like to be in my position." Beca said, her eyes narrowing into a creepy glare.

"I'm just trying to wrap my brain around this, Beca because it seems to me like you're just playing a game of hard to get. Your bad*ss attitude has your mind so twisted it's insane."

"That f*cking wreck is what has twisted my brain and excuse me for trying to untwist it!" the girls cowered away from us as we continued to take blows at each other.

"Well you're doing a pretty sh*tty job at it."

"You may not approve of the ways I'm doing this but I can assure you there's no other way. Trust me, I've tried."

"Beca, those guys are following you like lost puppies! There ARE other ways to do this! Maybe you just enjoy toying with their emotions a little too much."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that you need some serious help. This brain damage has turned you into a completely different person and you're going to lose everyone you love if you continue like this. You're sick and I hate what you've become. And if you think Jesse feels any different, that he won't leave you if you continue down this dark and twisted path, then you've got another thing coming. He truly loves you Beca but your personality gets to be too much for one person to handle."

"Aubrey-" Chloe started but Beca interrupted her, choking back tears.

"No, she's right. Now that you mention it, it does seem wrong. Leave it to Aubrey to be the heartless b*tch to drop it all on me no matter how brutal because she gets some twisted pleasure out of it. And you call me the sick one, think again." she quickly ran out.

Wow. I've never seen Beca so emotional. Even through everything with Jesse last year she never once shed a tear, as far as I know anyway. Maybe I was a little harsh, I mean, I don't know what she's going through and I don't even know Luke, maybe she's doing the right thing with all of this. I have to apologize and, by the looks they're giving me right now, the rest of the girls know it, too. I sigh before chasing after Beca.

~

After a few minutes of looking, I finally found Beca sitting on a lone bench. She had her face in her hands, hiding it from the outside world, but I could tell she was crying. I took a deep breath before walking toward her.

"Beca." she quickly stopped crying and wiped her eyes before looking at me.

"What? Did you leave out an insult? Go ahead, you can't possibly break me anymore than you already have."

"No. I came to apologize, Beca." she shot me a look of shock. "I was out of line back there. You're right, I don't know what you're going through and I shouldn't have been so quick to judge." I slowly took a seat beside her.

"No, you're right. It does seem like I'm stringing them along but it's so hard. I've got all of these desires and I know they point to one of these guys but I can't figure out who. It's all a big blur and the only way to know for sure is to experiment. I know it makes me seem kind of slutty and I don't like that, that's more Stacie's style." we took a second to laugh.

"I don't know, Bree. Maybe I should just give up."

"I know this must be hard but giving up is not an option." she sighed as she raked a hand through her hair and leaned back. "Look Beca, you're a lot of things." she shot me a look.

"You're beautiful, talented, alternative, a smart a*s, big headed-"

"Where are you going with this?"

"The point is, you're all of those things. But if there's one thing you're not, it's a quitter. Don't start now." It was quiet for a minute as she thought about it.

"You're right. Thank you, Aubrey." she gave me an awkward hug but it was somehow enjoyable.

"Ok, you have a group to teach, let's go."

~

After two agonizing hours of Beca shoving the fact that she can control this group better than I can down my throat, rehearsal is finally over. They decide to go to Beca and Amy's dorm to catch up but I have other plans.

"Aubrey, you coming?" Beca asked.

"I'll catch up with you guys, I'm gonna go for walk. This could be the last time that I set foot on this campus, I wanna make the best of it." she gives me a warm smile then follows the others out. 

When they were completely out of sight I took a long look around the room, remembering all of the good and bad times. Over there by the seats is where I had a barf fest while arguing about Beca last year, over by the white board is where I first confronted Beca about her toner for Jesse, and right there behind those seats is where I caught Fat Amy horizontal running. I smile at these memories.

"Man, I'm going to miss this place." I think aloud.

"It's going to miss you." a familiar voice startled me. I turned around to see Unicycle sitting on the end chair. "Well, at least I know I am." 

"Uni." he flashed me that heartwhelming smile as he slowly walked toward me.

"How have you been, Bree?"

"Um, great actually. I've got in apartment a few miles out of town, Chloe and I are rooming together until we can afford our own places."

"That's great." he was standing just inches away from me. "This may be my last chance to do this so here I go."

Before I could say anything he smashed his lips against mine. It startled me but I stood there as he closed his lips over mine. I joined in and our lips began to dance in sync. The kiss deepened and his hands found their way around my hips as mine tangled in his hair.

I bet, at this point, you're wondering what happened between us. The thing is, we were in love but I got into the Bellas and he got into the Trebles. I was willing to defy the oath and in fact, I did. I was kicked out of the Bellas and my dad didn't take it too well. He had put a huge chunk of his money in this a Capella thing and when I was kicked out he was furious. He demanded I break up with Unicycle and do anything to get back into the Bellas. Being terrified of my father, I obeyed. I dumped Unicycle, no questions asked and got back into the Bellas but I've never stopped loving him. My dad could remove Uni from life but he couldn't remove him from my heart. That's the one thing he has no control over.

This whole thing with my father is the reason I'm so hard on Beca. Her and her father don't have the greatest relationship either and I don't want to see her have to go through what I did. Her dad isn't as strict as mine but I'd like to be safe rather than sorry. I won't tell Beca, or anyone else for that matter, the real reasoning behind this because it's very personal.

"So, is this a yes?" Unicycle asked as he pulled away and pressed his forehead against mine.

"To what?"

"To being mine again?"

"Absolutely." he smiled as I locked my lips to his. 

So much for that walk.


	22. Confusion is Nothing New

*Chad's P.O.V.* 

My feelings for Beca have become undeniably strong. I haven't seen much of her in the past few days due to some girls in her a Capella group coming for a visit but I don't have to. Just thinking about her makes my body burn for her. I want her, I need her but I can't do anything with Jesse in the way. Even if he wasn't a big part of her life I doubt I'd do anything about it. Ever since our rocky past it's been kind of difficult to talk to her about these things. I just wish I had someone to talk to that could help me with this. 

"Oh, I'm sorry." I said when I felt my body hit someone else's. I helped steady the other person before I realized who it was. "Wait, you're Stacie, Beca's friend right?"

"Yeah and you are?"

"Oh, I'm Chad. Chad McCormick." she thought for a minute.

"Oh! You're Beca's ex."

"You've heard about me?" I asked, surprised by her recognition of me. This is the first I've ever met her, how does she know me?

"Oh, yeah. Beca's told me all about you." That answered my question. 

"How much did she say?"

"Oh you know, just that she caught you with your pants around your ankles in the women's room restroom with another girl on prom night. The usual."

"Right, well let's change the subject. I actually have a question if you would be willing to help me." I said, feeling a little embarrassed.

"Sure." she gave me her undivided attention as I began to speak.

"Well, Beca told me that, though you've never really had one, you're pretty good with relationship advice." she nodded then I continued to speak. "Well, there's this girl. We've known each other for a while but it's difficult for me to tell her how I feel. There's this other guy and I'm just scared that I will get rejected."

"Well Chad, if you really want to be with this girl, take that chance of rejection. You have to man up and not only tell her how you feel, but you have to show her how you feel. And, if you get rejected, at least you tried. Not a lot of people can even say that."

"You're right. But, how can I show her?"

"Only you have the answer to that question." 

Just then some guy in a Trebles jacket approached us and shoved his tongue down Stacie's throat. Disgusting. They started to get a little carried away but I cleared my throat, reminding them that I was still there. They pulled apart and she introduced him as her boyfriend, Donald I think. I thanked Stacie before leaving, letting them get back to their...activity.

She's right. If I want to at least have a chance with Beca, I have to tell her how I feel. It has to be meaningful and from the heart and I have to show her what she means to me. If I want to do this I can't have Jesse getting in the way. I have to keep him away from her so I can talk to her.

But how?

*Beca's P.O.V.* 

"Still think you can take me?" I asked, pinning Jesse to the ground.

"You bet." he was out of breath but that didn't stop him from taking control and switching me places.

This is not what you are probably thinking so please just do us both a favor and get your mind out of the gutter. Jesse and I are just wrestling. Why, you ask? Well, it actually started with an innocent conversation about movies. Movies led to actors, actors led to Jackie Chan, Chan led to strength, strength led to a debate about which sex is stronger, the debate led to Jesse showing of his muscles, muscles led to this challenge. So far, Jesse's losing. 

He straddled me and pinned my arms above my head. He hovered above me and gave me a proud grin. He looks so cute when he's confident. Too bad I have to break him.

"Ok, you got me. Now what?" I asked in the way I know he can't resist.

As expected, he closed his eyes and began to lower his head toward mine. His grip on me loosened, giving me free range of motion. I grabbed him and flipped him over my head. He landed with a loud thud and the people below us banged on the floor, which I guess is their ceiling. Jess and I retaliated and told them to shut up. 

"What was that?' he asked me.

"Don't let your weakness control you." I said as we rose to our feet. He ran at me but I dodged him, grabbing his arm and twisting it so it's aligned vertically with his back. He lets off a pained moan and stands completely still.

"Say it and you're free." he stayed strong until I lifted his arm up a little farther. 

"You win! You win!"

"And?"

"Guys aren't always stronger." I released him and he immediately began massaging his muscle. "Sh*t that hurt. What are you? A black belt?"

"Actually, yes."

"Well you clearly earned it, geez."

"You may want to ice that." I grabbed the ice pack that I keep handy and put it on his arm.

"Thanks." he said as he grabbed the ice pack. His hand slid across mine, sending waves of electricity through me.

"Sorry, sometimes I don't know my own strength." I apologized as I put some distance between us.

"It's ok, it's good to know that you can take care of yourself." he smiled at me.

We proceeded to have one of those ooey gooey moments you see in movies when the guy and girl stare into each others eyes. Then, his phone went off. He pulled his eyes away from mine as he pulled it out of his pocket.

"I gotta get to class. I'll see you later." he kissed my forehead.

"Bye." I said as I watched him walk out of the door.

~  
I'm just returning to campus after having lunch at McDonald's. I have a McFrappe in one hand and I'm furiously texting the Bellas, who are freaking out about regionals, with the other hand. After the 20th time of telling that we'll do fine, I decided to shut down my phone. Finally, peace and quiet. I can't help but wonder how long this is going to last.

"Beca!" Apparently it will last for less than three seconds. "Hey, I've been looking for you." Chad said when he caught up to me.

"You found me."

"Yeah."

This is that awkward silence moment that always follows these conversations.

"Is there something you wanted?" I asked, not able to stand the awkwardness any longer.

"Oh, right. I've been meaning to talk to you."

"What about?"

"You. Well not you exactly, it's more like me, well my feelings......for you." I stopped dead in my tracks at these words.

"Feelings? For me?" he nodded. I had no idea he felt this way. "I had no idea you felt this way."

"Neither did I. I thought I was over you but when we had lunch that day, I guess the feelings never really left. They just disguised themselves somehow."

I'm speechless, things cannot get any worse.

"It's ok. You don't have to say anything, just listen." I don't think that's even a possibility right now. "I know we had a pretty bad past and I'm probably the last person you'd want to be with but, I love you." I stand corrected, it just got worse.

"What?"

"Yeah. Beca Mitchell, I'm absolutely 100 percent for sure in love with you."

"Why do guys keep telling me they love me?!" I yelled.

"Not the reaction I was hoping for." he mumbled.

"I'm sorry but seriously! What do you guys find so irresistible about me?! It's because this memory loss has left me vulnerable so you think I'd be easy, isn't it?"

"What? No. Beca, it may have taken me 3 years to realize it but I truly love you." I felt his hand touch my cheek and before I could comprehend what was happening I felt his lips on mine.

F*ck, this sh*t just got real.

*Jesse's P.O.V.*  
My class finally came to end and I couldn't wait to meet up with Beca again. I would be with her by now if it wasn't for this kid holding me back, literally. He has a hold on my arm and I can't shake him lose.

"Dude! What's wrong with you?!" I yelled as I finally freed myself from his grip.

"I just want to know more about your a Capella group. Like, why are you called the Treblemakers?" He asked.

"It's just a play on words. It's sort of saying that we are the troublemakers of a Capella." I explained then turned to leave only for him to jump in front of the door and block me from leaving.

"What the h*ll man?!" I quickly realized this wasn't really about the Trebles. "What's this really a about?"

"I told you. I want to know more about your group."

"Look, you seem like pretty nice kid. I'd hate to see something happen to you but you're kind of forcing my hand." we had a stare down until he cracked.

"Chad paid me to keep you away from Beca so he could make his move." What!? I'm going to kill him!!

"Where is he?"

"I don't know, where ever Beca is I'm assuming."

I have to get to her before he does anything.

~

I found them standing in the quad, just talking. Thank God I'm not too late. I start to walk toward them when I see Chad bend down and...kiss her!! I begin to run. I see Beca position her hands on his chest, ready to push him away but I beat her to it. He goes stumbling backwards, struggling to keep his balance.

"What the h*ll was that, Chad?! You just messed everything up you f*cktard!!" I yelled.

"Oh really? I don't see Beca complaining!"

"How about we ask her how she feels then. Beca?" I turned to Beca.

"I feel... like I can't stand you anymore!! Either of you!" Did not expect that. "Chad, you have done nothing but complicate things and that stupid kiss made it even worse!! And Jesse, I know you're trying to help but you're doing a pretty poor job at it. You're letting me take control and I have no idea what I'm doing!! I can't seem to control my urges around you and everytime I kiss you it makes everything even worse! I like you and I like being around you but I can't take feeling like a burden anymore. I'm done. And don't give me those eyes or kiss me and think it will be fine. Your amazing talents and f*cking flawless body can't change my mind again. I'm sorry but this was the very last chance I could give this thing without hurting either of us and I thought I could do it but it's just too much. I'd rather live a life of not remembering than remembering but tearing apart everyone who helped me."

I'm struggling to hold back the tears as she uses lots of words to say that she's giving up. This is it, this was my last chance and it's over all thanks to Chad. That douchepants!!

"So, what are you going to do?" Chad asked the question that the both of us were thinking.

"I'm going to do what I should've done from the beginning." she looked at me with an apologetic look.

"I'm moving to L.A."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger!! Do you think she's really going to go?
> 
> I admit, not the best chapter but it's good enough to lead up to the big plot twist that I have planned for y'all. :-)
> 
> Until next time!! Stay suspended...if that makes any sense :-)
> 
> One more thing. I need your help!! I'm in the midst of a contest with my cousin and sister about who the best actress is. Anna Kendrick, Emma Watson, or Lauren Cohan? Please help me Kendrickers!! Vote Anna in the comments or private message me. It'll be very appreciated!! Thank you!!!


	23. L.A. City of Broken Hearts

*Jesse's P.O.V.*

L.A.? L.A.? She's moving to L.A.? She can't go, it will kill me. I can't lose her, not like this, not at all. But, I have to because I believe in individuality and, as an individual, she has made her choice. I can't stop her. I have to let her do this no matter how many pieces my heart is ripped into.

I watch her beautiful figure as she walks away from us. My heart breaks with every step she takes until it's nothing but tiny specks of dust floating around in my chest cavity. It's over. It's really over. I hear Chad sigh then, through the corner of my eye, I see him walk in the opposite direction. I want to disappear into my dorm and cry into my pillow but I can't find the strength to move. It's like my brain has lost all control of my body and my shattering heart has taken its place as boss. I drop to my knees and immediately begin sobbing into my hands right there in the quad for absolutely everyone to see.

"Jesse." I hear Stacie say name sympathetically.

I felt her hand on my shoulder as she slowly lowered herself to her knees beside me. When she was level with me I collapsed into her arms. She comforted me as I cried.

"I saw everything. You have no idea how sorry I am." It sounded like she wanted to cry herself. "I was stupid and didn't realize he was referring to Beca at the time. If I would've, I never would have given him the advice, you know that. I love you, Jess. You're one of my best friends."

"I know, Stace. It's ok." I assured her as I sniffed away a few tears only for them to come pouring out again as she stroked my head like Beca used to do.

"I've got nothing. She is my life and she's leaving, taking my heart and soul with her."

*Stacie' s P.O.V.*

I was walking out of class when I saw Beca, Jesse, and Chad talking. I got close enough to listen in without them seeing me. When Beca said she was moving to L.A. I'm pretty sure I saw Jesse's heart fall out of his chest. This is all my fault. I gave Chad the advice without even realizing that he's referring to Beca and he used it. I just ruined the one thing that Jesse's future depended on. I'm glad he's not angry with me but it's killing me seeing him so broken. He's my best friend and I let him down.

"I've got nothing. She is my life and she's leaving, taking my heart and soul with her."

That broke my heart even more because I know it's true. I just held him tighter as I pushed aside my feelings to be there for him. He slowly started to calm down just as Donald approached us.

"What's wrong?" he mouthed.

"Beca's leaving." I mouthed back. He gave me a nod then knelt down beside Jesse.

"Hey man. I know you're pretty heart broken right now but Stacie and I kind of have a date." I smacked his arm. "What?"

"Don't be inconsiderate. Jesse's hurt and it's my fault. I'll stay with him as long as he feels that he needs me." I said.

"No, it's ok. Don't miss your date because of me. Someone deserves to be happy and it's obviously not me, so go. I'll be fine." Jesse said, letting go of me.

"Are you sure?"

"No, I actually feel like I'm literally dying and it's only going to get worse before it gets better. Don't worry about me though, I have other friends. Please, go on your date."

I gave him another quick hug then pecked him on the cheek before standing up. I intertwined my hand with Donald' s and, with one last look at Jesse, we left.

I hope he will be ok.

*Jesse's P.O.V.*

I watch as Stacie and Donald walk away. They laugh and kiss and it's just so...disgusting. I mean, it's cute but it makes me sick to my stomach. It's so unfair that they get to have a beautiful and normal relationship while I'm over here having to watch them soak in their happiness, knowing that I may never get to do that with the girl I love again. It hurts me to think that but it kills me to know that it's true. I need time to think.

~

It's 10 o'clock at night and I'm just now returning to my dorm. I slump across the hall to my dorm. I slowly slide the key into the knob and unlock it before carelessly pushing it open. Just my luck, Benji and Amy are here...as a couple.

"Hey Jess." Benji greets me with a smile. I acknowledge him with a lazy nod of the head. "Want to join us for a round?" Candyland guys, they're playing Candyland.

"No thank you, I think I'd rather cry silently into my pillow." I dropped face down onto my bed and hurried my head under my pillows.

"Is it Beca?" He asked.

"Yup." I knew he and Amy were already by my bed at this point by the gust if wind I felt followed by the edge of my bed sinking in.

"What happened?" Amy asked.

"She gave up, again."

"So just change her mind like the last time." Benji said.

"I can't." I pulled the pillow off of my head and looked at them. "She's moving...to L.A."

Benji looked shocked while Amy looked a little angered. She began to rant about how Beca has poor timing because she's moving so close to regionals. Benji calmed her down and told her to go lie down. They exchanged a quick kiss then Amy made her way to Benji' s bed.

"You can't let her leave, Jess. It'll destroy you both." Benji said, turning his attention back to me.

"There's nothing I can do, she's made her decision." I said, pulling myself up.

"Do you love her?"

"What kind of question is that? Of course I do."

"Then show her. Show her how much she means to you. Jesse, I'm going to tell you the same thing my grandma told me. She always said that when you are choosing the woman to give your heart to and spend the rest of your life with, ask yourself this; Can you live without her?"

"Beca is my heart. When my heart fails to beat, I die. Beca leaving me, it's the equal to my heart stopping; therefore, I die."

"You have to put an end to her leaving before she puts an end to your life." Benji said with a smile.

I thanked Benji for giving me my confidence back then darted out of the room. I came to the hall Beca' s dorm is located in and slowed down. When I approached her door, I came to a hault and stared at it as I thought.

Here goes nothing.


	24. Going Away?

*Jesse's P.O.V.*

I take a breath and get ready to knock. Right as my knuckles are just about to connect with the door, my phone goes off. I'm shocked to see a message from Amy that read: (A=Amy J= Jesse)

A-throwin a goin away par-tay! go 2 bar w/ Beca!  
J-what happened 2 bein mad?  
A-eh, she's wanted this 4 a while & as her friend i respect that & want her 2 b happy

She's right. This is Beca's dream, I should honor her decision. Besides, she only stayed in college for the Bellas and me. Now that she doesn't quite remember us there isn't really anything keeping her here. I replied a quick 'ok' to Amy before shoving my phone in my pocket and knocking on Beca's door. A few things shuffled around then the door cracked opened to reveal Beca. Without a word, she pushed the door completely open as a silent invitation. I stepped inside to see a couple of boxes with some of her things neatly stacked inside and a few articles of her clothing were slung around the room as the others were folded and placed inside an open suitcase on her bed.

"So you're really going." I stated but it sounded more like a question.

"Good observation skills." she said as she placed a neatly folded shirt in the suitcase. "Did you come here for a reason?" she asked, folding her arms and looking at me.

I thought before speaking. I don't know what I should tell her. Should I tell her to stay with me or go live her dreams? If she stays with me, she'll be hurt but if she leaves, I'll be hurt. Either way, it's a lose/lose situation for me.

"Uh, yeah. Um, the girls are throwing a little going away party in your honor. My job is to get you down there." Doing the right thing sucks.

"Ugh. Ok, let's get this over with." she grabbed her phone and left the room.

I caught up to her and we walked in complete silence. We avoided any and every form of communication possible.

Here goes a night if heartbroken happiness.

*Beca's P.O.V.* 

I can't believe it's gotten this far. I thought that by now I'd have my memory back and I'd go back to being whoever I was before but, I thought wrong. When Jesse came to get me for the party I tried to read his expressions to get a clue as to what he's feeling about all of this but his face was completely blank. Not an expression to be read. We're now walking to the bar together in complete silence. I want so badly to just say something or joke or something but I can't seem to find the right words.

"Beca!" Stacie greets me with a ear splitting shriek when Jesse and I enter the bar. She wrapped her arms around my neck and the stench of alcohol burns my nostrils.

"Your breath reaks of alcohol." I said using my hand to try to block her breath from hitting face with very little success.

"Sorry, I'm a little tipsy." she said, slurring her words a little.

"So I see, you're slurring your words."

"No I'm not, I'm speaking cursive. Come on, you're getting at least this drunk tonight." before I could decline she dragged me over to the bar where the rest of the drunken Bellas were sitting. They are all drunk with the exception of Chloe.

Dear God, please help me.

~ 

"Here you go." Chloe pulled me from my thoughts as she handed me a beer and dropped beside me on the couch.

"Thanks." I grabbed it and was immediately sucked back into my thoughts. 

It's been a little over an hour and everyone here is having more fun than I am. I could be out there getting stupid drunk with my fellow Bellas but instead I'm sitting here torturing myself with my thoughts. I keep talking myself into believing this is the right thing then I turn around and talk myself out of it. What's wrong with me?

"He'll be ok, you know that right?" Chloe's voice startled me, she's one of the sober few. "Jesse's a big boy. It may hurt in the beginning but he'll learn to move on."

"I know. I don't know why this is so hard for me. We used to be a thing, I know but it's gone now. I just, I don't know." I took a gulp of beer.

"I know you're falling for him, again." my head immediately snapped her way. "Don't act so surprised, we all know it. It's not that hard to see it. You're dreaming about him, kissing him, and you can't seem to stand an hour without him. How are you going to live the rest of your life without him?" I know what she's doing. She's hinting at the answer to my problems, she always does this.

"I don't know what to do, Chloe."

"Do what makes you happy, not Jesse, not anyone else. You."

"What if making Jesse happy is what makes me happy?"

"Then do him." I gave her a look and she winked at me, telling me she knew what she had said.

"You're an a*shole." I said with a little laugh.

"Thank you. It's just another one of my talents." she said with a smirk as she took a sip of beer.

Just then the people erupted in loud cheers and swarms of them crowded the stage. Chloe and I looked at each other and shrugged as we telepathically sent the message. We followed the people to the stage. As soon as I saw what they were cheering about my heart sank. Jesse and the Trebles had piled onto the stage to perform.

"Hey. Ladies and gentlemen we are the Barden University Treblemakers and we're going to perform Let Her Go by Passenger. This goes out to a special someone, you know who you are." Jesse said into the microphone, locking his gaze on me.

Great, a heartwrenching performance led by Jesse himself. This can't be good.

*Jesse's P.O.V.* 

I can't tell her how I feel but maybe I can show her with a heart filled performance. I lock my gaze on her as I speak. The Trebles start vocalizing and I take the lead.

"Well you only need the light when it's burning low  
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow  
Only know you love her when you let her go

 

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low  
Only hate the road when you’re missin' home  
Only know you love her when you let her go  
And you let her go

 

Staring at the bottom of your glass  
Hoping one day you'll make a dream last  
But dreams come slow and they go so fast

 

You see her when you close your eyes  
Maybe one day you'll understand why  
Everything you touch surely dies

 

But you only need the light when it's burning low  
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow  
Only know you love her when you let her go

 

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low  
Only hate the road when you're missin' home  
Only know you love her when you let her go

 

Staring at the ceiling in the dark  
Same old empty feeling in your heart  
'Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast

 

Well you see her when you fall asleep  
But never to touch and never to keep  
'Cause you loved her too much  
And you dived too deep

 

Well you only need the light when it's burning low  
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow  
Only know you love her when you let her go

 

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low  
Only hate the road when you're missin' home  
Only know you love her when you let her go

 

And you let her go (oh, oh, ooh, oh no)  
And you let her go (oh, oh, ooh, oh no)  
Will you let her go?

 

'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low  
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow  
Only know you love her when you let her go

 

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low  
Only hate the road when you're missin' home  
Only know you love her when you let her go

 

'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low  
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow  
Only know you love her when you let her go

 

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low  
Only hate the road when you're missin' home  
Only know you love her when you let her go

 

And you let her go."

The whole place erupts with drunken cheers. For the first time since the performance started I looked away from Beca to put the microphone back on the stand. When I looked back up, she was gone. I skimmed the room for her but couldn't find her anywhere. Chloe caught my eye as she crazily waved her arms above her head. I let my gaze fall on her as she mouthed the words 'her dorm'. I didn't waste anytime getting off the stage and to Beca's room.

When I made it to her to her dorm I don't bother knocking, I just walk in. She's leaning over her desk with one hand against it and the other covering her face. I hear a sniffle as she rakes her hand through her hair, pulling it out of her face.

"What was that?" she asked.

"The a Capella version of Let Her Go." she turned around and began raising her voice.

"You know what I mean Jesse! Don't get smart!"

"I'm sorry, Bec." she continued to speak before I could say anything else.

"I thought you wanted me to go to L.A. and live my dream."

"I did but-"

"But?! Jesse, there can't be any buts! I'm trying to do what's right for the both of us and I can't have you screwing with my head making it harder!" she paused to calm herself down. "I just, I need to do what feels right."

I can't take it anymore. She wants to know what feels right? I'll show her what feels right. I quickly pin her to the wall behind her. She looks shocked but doesn't try to stop me.

"What are you doing?" she asked in almost a whisper.

"You want to do what feels right." I quoted her then before she could even utter the smallest sound, I smashed my lips to hers.


	25. Mind Changer

*Jesse's P.O.V.*

I put every ounce of my being into this kiss. This is my last ditch effort to get her back. She rests her hands lightly on my cheeks as she kisses me back with just as much passion.

"Does this feel right?" I asked, both of us breathing fast.

Instead of answering, she grabbed the back of my neck and retangled her lips with mine. It was soft and sweet but so full of passion. I gently pressed my tongue passed her lips and she welcomed it, meeting mine with hers. Our lips moved in sync and our tongues danced gracefully together as I fought the urge to rip her clothes off.

I gave into the urge when I felt Beca gently bite my lip, telling me she's ready. I smiled as I wrapped my arms around her waist and lifted her off the ground. Her legs instinctively hugged my waist as I pressed her back against the wall. She moaned into my mouth a little as I slipped my hands up her shirt and massaged her breasts. Hands still under her shirt, I trailed my lips to her neck. Her hands tangled in my hair as I kissed her sweet spot.

She pulled my head out of her neck and I connected my lips to hers. I felt her hands slide down my back and grab a handful of my shirt. She tugged on it as I pulled away and helped her pull it over my head. She watched her hands as she slid them down my chest. She fixed her gaze on the scars from the defibrillator and lightly traced them with her fingers. I lifted her head up until her eyes were peering into mine. She kissed me softly before pulling away and lifting her arms into the air. I slipped my hands under her shirt and slid them up the length of her body as I carefully pull her shirt off.

As soon as the shirt is off, her lips crash onto mine. I snap her bra off and toss it to the floor, keeping my lips locked to hers. I pulled her away from the wall and walked over to her bed as I unbuttoned her pants. I knocked the suitcase off off the bed and set her on it, pulling my lips off of hers. I kneeled on the bed in front of her as she ripped my belt out of the loops and threw it across the room. After unbuttoning my pants she pulled my lips back onto hers. We quickly stripped each other of the rest of our clothing and spent the majority of the night satisfying our desire for one another.

God, I love this girl.

*Beca's P.O.V.*

'Oh my God!' is the first thought that popped into my head when his lips unexpectedly connected with mine. It felt 100 times better than any kiss I've ever had as I felt him put everything he had into it. He pulled away and I immediately missed his touch. He said something but I couldn't focus on his words. The only thing I could focus on was the burning sensation that rushed through my body as my desire for him started to overwhelm me. His lips stopped moving, meaning he was done talking, so I grabbed the back of his neck and pulled his lips back onto mine. He was soft and sweet but I don't want that. I want him to rip my clothes off and satisfy my every need in the way only he can.

When I realized he was waiting for me to give him the ok, I gently bit his lip. I felt his lips stretch into a smile as he picked me up and pressed me against the wall. His hands found their under my shirt then began massaging my breast and I couldn't hold back the moan. My hands tangled in his hair as he kissed my neck. When I pulled his head out of my neck and his lips reconnected with mine, I wasted no time getting his shirt off him. I trailed my fingers down his chest, loving the feeling of his smooth skin and hard muscle. I then noticed the scars from the defibrillator and lightly traced them with my fingers. Why didn't he tell me that he died in that wreck? I didn't have time to think about when he gently pulled my head up to look at him. I softly kissed him before pulling away and raising my arms into the air. He got the clue and began pulling my shirt of me. The goosebumps immediately formed as his fingers slid up my skin, making me even hungrier for him.

As soon as the shirt was off, I crashed my lips back onto his. I felt his hands fumble with my bra then it quickly snapped loose and he pulled it off of me. His hands move to the button of my jeans as he walked over to my bed. His grip on me tightened as he leaned over and pulled my suitcase off of my bed before sitting me on it. He pulled away as he kneeled down on the bed in front of me. I furiously ripped his belt off and unbuttoned his pants, this can't happen soon enough. I want him so bad. I kissed him again before we stripped completely naked. I learned two things that night;

1) I am a screamer.  
2) My brain may be screwed up but my heart isn't, and it's telling me that I'm absolutely in love with Jesse Swanson.


	26. Romance and Rebounds

*Beca's P.O.V.*

Breathing heavily, Jesse pulled from me and rested his head on my stomach. I laid one hand on the back of his head and the other on his cheek as we tried to calm our breathing. He lifted his head to look at me.

"You are so beautiful." He said.

I gave him a little smile as he leaned up and kissed me. He rolled off and laid beside me. He grabbed my hand and brought it up to his mouth, placing a light kiss on it. I rolled over and looked at him.

We gazed at each other for a moment until I closed my eyes. I felt him scoot closer, leaning his forehead against mine and resting his hand on my hip. Our hands were still intertwined and I felt his eyes on me. A smile crept onto my face as I felt his eyes linger on me.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked quietly as his hand moved from my hip and pushed some stray hair behind my ear.

"I am really hoping that this isn't another one of those dreams. I don't want to open my eyes to see you vanish." He chuckled a little.

"Open your eyes." He said running his hand down my back. I opened my eyes and they immediately peered into Jesse's beautiful chocolate ones. "It's not a dream." I smiled and lightly pressed my lips to his, my tongue gently colliding with his.

"This was amazing, Jess." I said when I pulled away and pressed my forehead against his. 

"Yeah, it was." I watched him as he pulled our still intertwined hands up and rested the back of mine against his lips, the warmth of his breath sending goosebumps down my arm. It was quiet as he caressed my hand and placed the occasional kiss on it.

"So, what are you going to do?" he broke  the silence, startling me a little.

''About what?'' 

''About staying or leaving.'' at those words,  I became fully alert and looked him in the eyes.

''Between all of the packing, the Bellas, and you burrowing your way under my skin..." I paused for dramatic effect. "...there's no f*cking way I'm leaving."

He smiled which made me smile. He practically pounced on me, causing me to shriek. Now laying on me, he kissed me long and passionately before rolling onto his back. He motioned for me so I scooted across the bed and cuddled into his chest. He wrapped an arm possessively around me as I lightly traced the defibrillator scars on his chest.

"Why didn't you tell me you died?" I asked, still tracing the scars.

"You had your own problems, I didn't want to load mine onto you."

"Mine wasn't death."

"No but yours is still a problem, I'm alive. It's not a big deal." I sat up and looked him the eyes.

"It's a big deal to me." I partially yelled as he propped himself up on his elbows. 

"Why?"

"Because I-" I desperately wanted to tell him I love him but I don't know how to say it. "If I didn't make it obvious with this," I gestured to our naked bodies lazily wrapped in the bed sheets, "I really like you and I care deeply for you."

"I love you, too, Bec." He said with a smirk.

"I didn't-"

"You don't have to." I gave him a half smile. "Now, give me those juicy lips." I giggled as I leaned down and locked my lips to his. "Okay baby, let's get some sleep."

"Baby? Does this mean we're officially together?" 

"Are you kidding? In my world, we never broke up. Besides, after everything we've been through I think we both deserve a little happiness."

"And what makes you think you give me happiness?"

"Oh Jesse! Yes! Don't stop! God! Jesse!" he mimicked me and I smacked his arm. "You sounded pretty happy to me, I even have the marks on my back to prove it."

"F*ck you." I said jokingly.

"You did." He smirked. I laughed at his remark.

"Just go to sleep." I said then wrapped my arms around him as I nuzzled my head into his neck. 

"I love you, Beca." He said as he wrapped his arms around me.

I can't say it back no matter how bad I want to. Once I say it, it puts me in a vulnerable state where I can be broken. I'm not ready for that, at least yet. He didn't seem bothered by the silence as he kissed the top of my head and tightened his grip on me. 

But, God do I love him. 

*Stacie' s P.O.V.*

After Jesse sang Let Her Go, Beca ran out of the bar. I know I should have ran after her but my sexy boyfriend mixed with tequila shots held me back. After a countless number of shots, I was even more tipsy than before. 

"Donald." I got my boyfriend's attention by wrapping my arms around his neck. "Let's get out of here." 

He immediately got what I meant and let me drag him out of the bar. We walked onto campus laughing and tripping over our feet. When we entered the halls, he pressed me against one of the walls and I let his tongue explore my mouth as mine explored his.

"Isn't this Beca's dorm?" he asked when he pulled from the kiss and noticed where I had led him.

"Yes."

"Why are we here? I thought we were going to your dorm."

"We are but first I wanna check on Beca. She seemed pretty upset earlier." he nodded as I pushed the door open.

"Holy sh*t. It looks like a grenade went off in her." He said when we saw Beca's once perfectly organized room looking like a pig pen. I shushed him and walked farther into the room.

"Umm, Donald."

"What?"

"I think I might have found your grenade." he walked into the room ans stood beside me. He turned his head to follow my gaze.

Beca and Jesse were naked and cuddled together under the sheets while their clothes were thrown carelessly around the room.

"Oh my God. Did they?"

"I think so and it's about freaking time." 

"You're telling me." Donald said as I pulled my phone out.

"Hello." Amy's drunken Tasmanian accent came through the phone.

"Hey, so I checked on Beca."

"Good, how is she?"

"Well, you probably don't want to come back to your dorm tonight." 

"Why?"

"Oh no reason, Beca and Jesse are cuddling in the bed. Completely naked!" It took her intoxicated mind a minute to fully comprehend what I was saying.

"Oh my God!! They had sex?!?" before I could answer I heard Benji' s voice in the distance. "Oh, gotta go. Thanks for the heads up." She said then the line went dead. 

"God, they're so cute." I said still looking at my friends.

"Yeah, we should probably leave before they wake up."

"Judging by the looks of things, I don't think they're gonna wake up anytime tonight."

"You're right." He said, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me closer. "But, I wanna go back to your dorm and make our own night like this." I giggled as he kissed me, biting my lip a little as he pulled away. 

"Come on." I pulled him out of Beca's dorm and led him to mine.

*Chloe's P.O.V.*

Beca ran off and I wanted to go after her but I thought it best if Jesse did. He is the one she loves and she is the one he loves. Who am I to get in the way of true love? I am a little worried though. I haven't heard from Beca or Jesse and I'm worried that maybe something happened to them.

"Sup nodes girl?" Amy asked as she flopped down on the side of the couch Beca sat moments before. She reaked of alcohol but seemed to be able to carry on a conversation.

"Hey Amy."

"You know the party's over there, right?"

"Yeah, I'm not really in the partying mood." she nodded and understanding nod. "Have you talked to Beca?"

"You didn't hear?"

"Hear what?"

"Beca's having a little party of her own." She answered. "In her dorm." She added when she noticed I didn't catch on. "In Jesse's pants." 

"Oh. Gross." I said, finally understanding.

"Yeah, Stace walked in on them." I gave her a look. "After, not during of course. She went to go check on her and said she and Jesse were in bed together, sleeping."

"So, her heart's officially with Jesse then."

"Looks like it." She confirmed my statement.

I know that just because two people have sex doesn't necessarily mean they're in love. But, if you knew Beca like we do then you'd know that with her, that is the case. Beca is, well was, a virgin. If she was going to give it up to someone she'd be 100% sure that she loves him and vice versa.

"Ok, let's party. I need to be drunk and grinding against a random guy like right now."

"Yeah!" Amy yelled and pulled me over to the bar

I really hope I don't do anything too stupid tonight.

        ~

Amy shoved drink after drink in front of my face and I drank every one of them until I was stupid drunk. I have a beer in one hand and I'm dancing with random guys, making them wish they can have me. I finished off my beer and grabbed another before climbing on top of the bar. I began to sing along to every song that came on the radio and pretty soon there was a group of guys surrounding the bar and cheering me on.

"This is the best night of my life!" I yelled throwing my hands in the air. The beer bottle slid out of my hand and shattered on the bar. I took a step and slid in the abandoned liquid, falling to my doom.

"Woah." someone said as I felt a pair of strong arms catch me. 

"Who are you because you are smoking?" My savior smiled at me before introducing himself.

"I'm Chad." Immediately recognizing the name, I squirmed out of his arms and stood in front of him.

"I know you, you're Beca's ex!"

"So you're a Bella, too, huh?"

"No. I mean I used to be but...Just come here." I pulled him into a kiss. "Let's go to your dorm, cutie."

He nodded and began leading me out of the bar. I stumbled in my drunken state so he picked me up bridal style and carried me back onto campus.

I may be intoxicated but I'm not stupid and I know that come tomorrow, I'm gonna regret this.


	27. Hangovers and Blackouts

*Chloe's P.O.V.* 

 I woke up to this awful pain that felt as if someone was ripping my skull in half. Holy sh*t, how much did I drink? I massaged my temples before slowly opening my eyes. The moment the light pierced my eyes, the pain in my head immediately intensified. I let my eyes adjust to the light before observing my surroundings. It's a dorm, I know that much, but I don't think I've ever been in this room and judging by the awful sandpaper feeling wrapped around my body, I'm naked beneath these sheets. Wait. Hangover, unfamiliar dorm, and I'm naked. Oh, don't tell me I-yup, I did. I had drunk sex.

Chad McCormick, you know the ex that destroyed Beca, was completely naked and fast asleep in the bed next to me. What have I done?! I slept with Beca's ex, that's what I've done! Why did I do this? I'm her friend! What's she going to make of me when I tell her that I banged her ex? Sh*t! He's waking up, I have to get out of here. 

I slowly crawl out of the bed and rummage around the mess he calls his room, looking for my clothes. Bra, shirt, pants, shoes. What am I missing? Panties! I rummage around the mess until, a ha, found my knickers. I quickly slip into my clothing. He starts to stir in the bed and I quietly slip out the door. I speed walk through the hall until he's out of earshot and, with all the adrenaline running through my body, I decide to call Beca.

The phone rings a couple of times. The words choke me when Beca's voice echoes through the receiver. What am I going to say? How am I supposed to tell her that I just slept with the man that tore her heart out in high school? I guess there's really only one way to do it. I have to just rip the bandage off.

"Hello? Chloe?" her voice pulls me from my thoughts, reminding me that she's waiting for me talk.

I so hope this doesn't effect our friendship.

*Beca's P.O.V.*  

I awoke to the sound of my phone vibrating very loudly against the floor. I carefully removed myself from Jesse's grip and searched in the combination of his and my clothing for my noisy device. I spotted the light blinking in my pants pocket. I grabbed it and curled back into Jesse, his body heat immediately warming me back up. I looked at the caller I.D. to see Chloe. What does she want? I slid my finger over the answer button and pressed the phone to my ear.

"Hello." I answered as I Jesse started to stir next to me. It was quiet. "Hello? Chloe?"

"Oh, right. I guess you want to know why I called you."

Normally, I'd give this a smart a*s response but, being in a strangely good mood, the sarcasm seemed to withdrawal itself.

"Kind of." I answered.

"Beca,  I did something bad. Please don't hate me. I was drunk and stupid and I had no control-" she started to ramble but I cut her off.

"Chlo! " she shut up. "What did you do?" she took a deep breath before answering.

"IsleptwithChad." she said it quickly in hopes that I didn't hear it.

"You slept with Chad?" I repeated.

"Yes. I'm so sorry Beca, I just, I don't know what happened. You can hate me."

"Chloe, I don't hate you. I don't even care."

"But, he is your ex."

"Exactly, he's my ex. He's not mine anymore, like that really made a difference to him." she was quiet on the other end. "Chloe, he's single and you're single. There's nothing stopping you."

"Are sure you're ok?" I sighed. Why is she so insecure?

"Yes, Chloe, I am sure. As far as I'm concerned, I've got my man now. You can have whoever the h*ll you want outside of Jesse. So, if you wanna be with Chad, you be with him. Or, if you wanna just use him for sexual needs, which he's apparently good at, you go ahead and you f*ck his tiny little brain out. Ok? I don't give two sh*ts what or who you are doing as long as you keep your paws off of Jesse."

"Ok, but-"

"Chloe, there are no buts. You are a beautiful, single woman with, and I speak from experience, an amazing body! Use it to your advantage and just have fun."

"Ok, you're right. Thanks, Bec. You're a great friend."

"You're welcome, Chlo. Now, I will talk to you later. Jesse may find this kind of talk a little uncomfortable." I said as I rolled onto my side to look the gorgeous guy laying next to me.

"Ok. Talk to you later, Bec."

"Bye." I said then hung up and placed my phone on the headboard above me.

I laid in silence, keeping my eyes locked on Jesse with this goofy grin on my face. I could tell he was awake by the way his breath staggered when I touched him and I could see his eyes moving around beneath his eyelids. I watched the corners of his mouth tug into a small smile as he began to speak.

"You're staring at me."

"I'm not staring, I'm gazing." he chuckled as he recognized the line as the one he used the night of the Riff Off.

"It's weird." 

"It's romantic." he opened his eyes and  wrapped his arms around me. He rolled over, pulling me on top of him.

"Is there something wrong?" his question caught me by surprise.

"No. Why?"

"You seem strangely.....happy."

"What? I have to be overly stressed or something to be happy?"

"No, it's just, weird. A good weird."

"Maybe something great happened and put me in a good mood."

"And what was that?" he asked cockily, already knowing the answer.

"I can show you better than I can tell you."

He smiled as I leaned forward and tangled my lips with his. I couldn't stop the giggle that escaped as his tongue jolted into my mouth. This is what makes me happy. I can't imagine being anywhere but with Jesse, he makes L.A. look like a distant memory. Just as I was about to deepen the kiss, I felt a little friend pop up, causing me to pull away.

"Mm, looks like this makes you happy, too." I said, lifting my body off of his.

"What can I say?" he asked with a smirk. "He likes you." I smiled and quickly kissed him before rolling back onto the bed.

Clutching the sheet around my naked body, I began getting dressed. After sliding into my bra and underwear, I felt Jesse's eyes on me as I walked to my closet. I pulled on a pair of skinny jeans then walked back toward the bed and looked through the pile of clothes that had fallen out of my suitcase, Jesse's eyes still on me.

"What are you doing?" he asked as he leaned over the side of the bed and  watched me. 

"Looking for...this." I said as I pulled the shirt I was looking for out of the pile. "You should be getting dressed."

"For what?" 

"Um, for the day. Unless you wanna lay naked in this bed all day."

"Now that, sounds like a plan." he began fiddling with my bra strap. "Join me?" I smiled and stopped him from leaning in.

"Put these on." I said, handing him his boxers.

He sighed but obeyed. He stood from the bed and quickly pulled his boxers and pants back on. I felt his finger loop around my waistband and pull me closer as I pulled my tank top over my head. He wrapped his hands around my waist and rested them in my back pockets as I lightly laid my hands on his arms. He still didn't have a shirt on and I absentmindedly began tracing his scars.

"Can you stop touching those?" he asked.

"Why?"

"Because they're just ugly scars that remind me of that awful day."

"That's where you're wrong. They are beautiful, Jesse. They saved your life and I love them." he smiled at me.

"Can I kiss you?" he asked as he began leaning in.

"Well, it looks like you're going to so..."

I trailed off as I watched his lips slowly inch closer to mine. He's moving very slowly and the temptation got too strong. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled his lips onto mine. He moaned into my mouth a little as our lips connected. His tongue jolted into my mouth and he quickly deepened the kiss, making it my turn to moan.

"Jess, I didn't put these clothes on just for you to take them off." I said between kisses. He pulled from my lips and placed a light kiss on my ear lobe before slowly moving down my neck. "Yeah, ok. You can take them off." I said, melting into his arms at his touch.

His hands removed from my pockets and wrapped them firmly around my waist. He lifted me up and I instinctively wrapped my legs around him. Still kissing my neck, he sat down on the edge of the bed. "That same technique gets you everytime." he said when he pulled his head out of my neck.

"Shut up."

I grabbed his face in my hands and crashed my lips to his, kissing him slowly and passionately. His hands slid up my shirt and his fingers gently dug into my skin. We were getting into it when I felt a sharp pain shoot through my head, causing me to bite Jesse's lip a little as I pulled away.

"Ow, sh*t." he cursed as his hand flew up to his lip. "Are you ok?" he turned his attention to me when he saw the pained look on my face as I held my head in my hand.

"Yeah, just a little headache. It's fine. Are you ok?" I asked eyeing the dribble of blood on his lip. I wiped it away as he began to answer.

"I'm fine, I'm more worried about you. That was very sudden."

"It's fine, Jess. It was just a little headache, stop worrying so much." I smiled at his protectiveness. 

"You sure?"

"Just kiss me."

That's all it took. His hands repositioned themselves under my shirt and our tongues continued to dance. I felt the pain again but I pushed it away, thinking it was just a little headache. It gradually got worse until the point that I couldn't  stand it any longer. Jesse held onto me as I pulled away from him, holding my head in pain. I could see the worried look on Jesse's face as he tried to say something but I couldn't hear him over the sound of me screaming and my brain pounding against my skull. I managed to cry his name as everything around me slowly blurred until finally, just like the wreck, everything went black.


	28. Saving Beca Mitchell

*Stacie's P.O.V.*

After a long night of pleasure with Donald, it's already 5 in the morning. Donald left for work and I decided to get some sleep. Almost as soon as my head hit the pillow, I was jerked back up by an awful scream from down the hall. Immediately recognizing the scream, I jumped up and ran toward it.

"What the h*ll happened?!" I asked when I burst into Beca's dorm. Beca was laying unconscious on her bed while Jesse was pacing around the room. 

"I don't know. We were just kissing then she started screaming and next thing I know she passes out in my arms." Jesse explained and I could hear the worried sobs as he tried to choke them back.

"Sh*t. Ok, calm down. If you start crying then I'll cry." he took a couple deep breaths. "Ok, um, did you check her vital signs?"

"No."

"Jesse, that's the very first thing you should do!" I said running to Beca's side.

"Well excuse the f*ck out of me! When my girlfriend suddenly screams and passes out in my arms, the first thing that pops into my mind is freak out. Not check her d*mn vitals!" he said as I checked them. 

"Ok, her vitals seem to be good but I'm no doctor. You may wanna check up with that doctor of yours."

"Good idea, sit with her."

"Why? It's not like she's gonna go anywhere."

"Because it will make me feel better. Just appease me, please." he said, pressing his phone to his ear.

I threw my hands up in surrender as I sat beside Beca. I watched Jesse as he paced around the room. With all of the stress he's under his muscles keep tensing up and I'm just now noticing how good he looks with no shirt. Sweet momma of pearl is he hot!

"Beca, you are one lucky aca-b*tch." I said to Beca's unconscious body, still watching her boyfriend pace around the room.

"We sort of, you know, had our first time last night." I heard Jesse explain. "It was our first time ever." he stopped talking and listened to the doctor. "Okay, thank you Dr. Stevens. Good bye."

Jesse hung up and sat on the other side of Beca. I watched him as he wrapped Beca's tiny hand in his larger one. He lightly placed a kiss on the back of it then just caressed it.

"What did the doctor say?" I asked.

"Beca loves me right?" his question caught me by surprise.

"What? Of course she does. Why would you even ask that?"

"The doctor said that the pleasure of being intimate with the person you love can trigger the return of her memories."

"So she could be getting her memories back?"

"Yes. The blackout could have been caused by the force of the memories as they return all at once. He said that if she doesn't wake up and stay up within the next hour I have to get her to the hospital."

"For someone who just found out his girlfriend could remember  him you don't seem too happy."

"It doesn't mean anything to me if she's not alive to enjoy it." I nodded, fully understanding.

"This is going to be one long hour." I said, removing the hair from Beca's face.

"You have no idea." he said, placing a light kiss on her lips before gently pressing his forehead against hers.

*Jesse's P.O.V.*

It's been the longest 30 minutes of my life! Stacie is sitting on the bed, starting to doze off while I'm sitting at Beca's desk fully awake. My head is in my hands and I'm just trying to stay optimistic about this. I hear a slight moan coming from Beca and Stacie and my head shoot toward her. She's slowly starting to sit up and I'm frozen in shock until I hear her say my name.

"Jesse." she said and I ran to her, kneeling down in front of her.

"Bec." she looked at me through squinted eyes as she laid her hand on my cheek. She traced my facial features with her thumb before weakly kissing me. She fell into my arms and held me in a loose hug.

"Jesse." she said my name again as she held me.

"It's okay, baby. I'm here." I said, resting my hands on her hips.

"What happened?" she asked quietly, her lips lightly brushing against my ear.

"I'll explain later, you're not in a very good position right now."

"Ok." she pulled her head out of my neck and turned her attention to her friend. "Hey, Stace." 

"Hey, Bec." Stacie said as she wrapped Beca in a quick hug. Beca hugged her back before turning to me and leaning her forehead against mine. "You two are so freaking cute." Beca chuckled and the beauty of her smile made me smile.

"Jess."

"Yeah, Bec?"

"You need to get a shirt on so Stacie will stop drooling all over you." I chuckled and looked at Stacie. She smiled, not denying it.

Beca used me to help her stand. She slowly began to walk to where she had thrown my shirt last night. She had only taken a couple of steps before she doubled over and called for me. I quickly made it to her and snaked my around her back. She threw an arm over my shoulders and burried her head in my neck.

"Jess, the light, it hurts. I can't see." I quickly lifted her up bridal style. 

"Hold on Bec, I'm taking you to the hospital." she wrapped her other arm around me and further burried her face in my neck. "Stace, you coming?" 

"Yup." she said opening the door for me. 

I felt Beca start to slip away as we walked down the halls to the parking lot.

"Bec, you gotta stay awake. I don't want you slipping into another coma."

"I'm trying, please hurry."

Finally, I approached my car and gently sat Beca in the backseat. I pulled a shirt on that I kept in my gym bag then tossed Stacie my keys. She climbed in the car and started it as I climbed in and pulled Beca into my arms. She was sitting between my legs with her head resting on my shoulder as I wrapped my arms around her stomach. I slid my glasses on her face and kept her talking, hoping to keep her awake until we reach the hospital. I don't know if we'll make it that far with Stacie's crazy driving. Beca passes out mid sentence.

"Stacie, hurry up!"

"We're almost there!"

~Hospital~

" I need help!'' I yelled, running to the front desk with Beca in my arms.

"How can I assist you?" a nurse at the desk asked.

"I need to see Dr. Stevens, now."

"I'm sorry, he's with a patient."

"You don't understand!" I yelled. "Look, I'm Jesse Swanson and this girl in my arms is Beca Mitchell. Yeah, do you remember us?" I asked, much calmer.

"I do but I'm afraid I can't take the doctor away from his current patient."

"You seem like a girl who understands love, so I need you to listen to me. This girl is the love of my life and she could be dying in my arms right now. Do you know how that feels?" It looked like I was getting to her. "Look, in order to at least have a chance to save her, I need to see Dr. Stevens. He's the only one that can help."

The nurse picked up the phone and dialed a number. "Dr. Stevens, please." at these words, I let out a relieved sigh. "Dr. Stevens, I have a Jesse Swanson here to see you. He says it's urgent that you see Beca Mitchell." she listened to his reply. "Ok, thank you." 

"He's on his way." She said as she hung up the phone. 

"Thank you." 

"Jesse!" I heard Dr. Stevens yell. I quickly made my way to him.

"She woke up but she seemed disoriented. She said her vision was blurry and the light hurt her eyes. She passed out on our way here." I answered the question before I heard it.

"Ok, lay her down so my nurse can take her to a room." I nodded and gently laid her on the bed. "I'm sorry but you can't go any further. I don't know what we will have to do and I can't have you in there just in case."

"Oh God, ok."

"You should probably get a hold of her friends and family and inform them of her current position."

"Yeah, ok." I said and the doctor started to walk away. "Dr. Stevens." He stopped an  looked at me. "Please take care of her." 

"I'll do what I can." He said before entering the room the nurse rolled Beca into.

~About An Hour 1/2 Later~

Beca's parents, the Bellas, and the Trebles are all in the waiting room awaiting the doctor's diagnosis. I'm staring at the ground, frantically raking my hands through my hair. I can feel Dr. Mitchell's glare on me. He blames me for all of this and it is technically my fault. 

"Can you stop glaring at me?!" I yelled, my sudden outburst startling the others.

"This is your fault." Dr. Mitchell responded, his glare only intensifying.

"Don't you think I know that?! Don't you think that this is killing me, too?! This is ripping my heart straight from my chest! Trust me, I know how you feel."

"She is my daughter, Jesse. My only child. I gave my life up for her. Don't tell me you know how I feel because, until you have your own children, you will never know this feeling!" I moved to sit right across from him.

"I do know, Dr. Mitchell. Your daughter is my world, I love her so much. Before I met Beca, I never thought that I was capable of this much love. Beca is the only thing in existence that can make me feel this way and knowing that this is my fault and that I could be losing her, it's literally killing me from the inside out. I'm trying so hard to be optimistic and keep it together but I can't do that if you sit here and continuously blame me." I felt a tear trail down my cheek.

"How do I know you're not just saying this so I'll stop blaming you?" he asked. Why is he being so hard? No wonder Beca kept him at a distance.

"Are you serious? He is crying!" Stacie backed me up. 

"It's very easy to fake a tear." this man is unbelievable. I know something I can tell him that could either prove my love or get me killed. It's crazy, but it's so crazy that it just might work.

"We took each other's virginity." I said quickly. By the look on his face, I vote, I'm dead.

"What?" he asked through clenched teeth.

"It happened last night." he let off a sarcastic laugh, I can see where Beca gets it from.

"Let me get this straight. You want to prove to me that you love my daughter, so to do this, you decide to tell me that you deflowered her?"

"It sounds stupid, I know, but I am one of the few guys that believe first times should be special and with the one you love. I would have never done anything if she didn't me tell me she was ready. Sir, I love your daughter and she loves me. You're a sensible man, Dr. Mitchell, I need you to believe me. You have to see where I'm coming from with this." his face fell into a concentrated look and I awaited his response, fingers crossed.

"I believe you."

"Really?" 

"Yeah. If you're crazy enough to tell me that you took the virginity of my only daughter, then I think you're crazy enough to become part of this family." I let out a relieved sigh.

"Thank you so much."

"Jesse." I turned to see Dr. Stevens standing at the edge of the waiting room. We all scrambled to our feet and ran over to the doctor. Everyone began bombarding him with questions not giving him a chance to speak.

"Guys!!" I yelled, shutting them up. "Let the man speak."

"Thank you, Jesse."

"You're welcome. Now, about Beca?" he sighed a long sigh before speaking.

"Beca is..."


	29. I Love You

*Jesse's P.O.V.*

"Beca is stable and her memories have returned but, I'm afraid she won't last much longer. It seems that the force of the returning memories was too much for her still healing brain. Her brain is failing, slowly killing her in the process. Beca is taking it pretty well, it appears Ms. Mitchell has been prepared for this for quite a while. She's apparently the only one of you that still has a grip on reality on this devastating twist in events."

"Can we see her?" Dr. Mitchell asked before I could.

"I'm afraid not. Beca won't be able to handle the pain of knowing that her loved ones are watching her slowly die. However, hospital policy say that we must grant every patient their dying wish."

"What's her wish?" 

"Ms. Mitchell wishes to see Mr. Swanson one last time."

"Why me? What about her parents?"  I asked.

"You'll have to ask her. Do you wish to see her?" 

"Of course, but her parents. I-"

"Jesse." Beca's mom cut me off. "You're the only one that could get through those protective barriers of hers. You two are in love, you should be the one to see her."

"Thanks." I said then followed Dr. Stevens down the hall. "Thank you, Dr. Stevens, for everything."

I extended my hand toward him as we stopped at the door. He excepted it and shook it before pulling me into a tight hug. "I'm sorry I couldn't save her."

"It's ok. You did what you could, that's all I could ask for." he held me for a second longer then pulled away. 

"Ok. Go before it's too late." he said them walked away. 

*Beca's P.O.V.*

Dying. Of course I'm dying. I knew it was going to happen soon but why now? Why after I re-fall for Jesse and get my memories back? F*ck, this is so unfair, more to Jesse than me. I see Dr. Stevens and Jesse approach the door and I prepare myself. I have got to be strong for Jesse, but it's going to be very hard. The door opened and I gave Jesse a weak smile as he stepped into the room.

"Hey." I said. He closed the door then just stood there.

"I failed you, Bec."

"No, no you didn't. You vowed to love me and get my memories and you've succeeded."

"But you're dying." he said, a tear falling down his cheek. 

"Come here." I held my arms open for him. He wasted no time diving into them, burying his face in my neck. "Jesse, you didn't fail me. I know you love me and I know you did your best."

"I'm sorry." he said as he quietly cried.  I pulled his head out of my neck and kissed him.

"I need you to listen to me and you can't cry or I will start crying." he nodded and wiped his tears away. He sniffed and I grabbed his hand. 

"Jesse, as we know, I'm dying." He flinched when I said 'dying'. "So, when I'm gone, I need you to move on."

"What? No, I can't. You're the only one I love, the only one I'll ever love." 

"That's not true. Look Jess, I was lucky enough to have you. You're the best boyfriend a girl could have and I don't want you holding back from other women. You'll just be hurting yourself."

"But-"

"Just promise me, Jesse. Please." he thought for a moment.

"Ok. I promise, Beca." 

I pulled him into another kiss. I put everything I had in that kiss, knowing that this will be our last one. We pulled away and he held me in a tight hug and I held him in a hug just as tight. I have to tell him how I truly feel. I can feel myself slipping away and if I don't say it now, I'll never be able to say it.

"Jesse, look at me." he pulled away and looked me in the eye. As I looked at him, the tears started pouring out and I couldn't stop them. 

"Beca, don't cry. Please." he said as the tears started falling from his eyes. 

"Ok, Jesse please listen. This is very important and I don't have much time left so I need you to listen and listen closely." he nodded.

"Jesse Swanson," I paused to choke back a sob, "I-I lo..." I trailed off as I slowly lost control of my body. 

I couldn't speak, I couldn't move and I couldn't see until eventually everything vanished leaving me in a world of bright lights. 

I had died.

*Jesse's P.O.V.* 

I couldn't help but cry and when Beca told me to move on, it's impossible. There's no way I will ever love anybody as much as I love Beca. Nobody can ever replace her but I have to honor her wishes. She started crying when she said she needed to tell me something and I lost it. I've never seen her cry like this. She was just about to tell me what was on her mind when she suddenly stopped talking. I had a good idea why she stopped but I so hoped it wasn't true. 

Unfortunately, my suspicion was confirmed when her grip on my hand loosened, her breathing slowly came to a stop, and the heartbeat monitor drew a flat line. I lost her. Out of pure desperation I did what any other guy would do if the woman he loved died, I shook her a little, hoping she'd wake up. I realized it wasn't going to happen and I began yelling for the doctors.

"Someone help!!" I turned back to Beca, crying harder than before. "Beca please, don't leave me. I'm not ready to lose you. Doctor!! I need Dr. Stevens!!!" I yelled. 

Finally, a nurse came in. She got one look at Beca's lifeless body and ran back out. She returned with a group of doctors, Dr. Stevens being one of them. They ran to Beca's body and tried to remove me but I refused. I held onto her and cried, hard. Dr. Stevens said something to one of the nurses that I didn't catch through my sobs. Next thing I know, Donald has one arm and Benji has the other. They pull me off of Beca and out of the room. I fight them, trying to get back to Beca. I feel a woman grab me and I look to see Stacie. I break through the guys' grip and fall into Stacie's arms. She slowly descends to the ground as I cling to her, crying into her chest (don't take that wrong). 

"She's gone, Stace. She's gone." I said between sobs. 

She stroked my head and assured me that everything will be fine. I could hear her quiet sobs as everyone around us broke down. We all lost someone we loved. She had impacted our lives greatly. She is the most important part in my life and now, now I have nothing. I feel like dying, at least I'll be with her.

"I think we have a pulse!"


	30. Wake Up?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not fond of this chapter, at all. I'm trying to end this book with an amazing ending but, to tell you the truth, I'm bummed that it's coming to a close. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter!!!

Chapter 29~ Wake Up?

*Author's P.O.V.*

"I think we have a pulse!" Dr. Stevens yelled. Outside, Jesse perked up as he recognized the voice.

"That's Dr. Stevens' voice." Jesse said with a little smile. Just then, a nurse came rushing out of Beca's room.

"You're the Mitchell family?" he asked, stopping in front of Beca's loved ones. Jesse wiped the tears away as he stood up.

"Yes, that's us." he answered.

"Thank God. Don't leave, we think Beca actually has a chance of pulling through this."

"How? I thought, with her brain, and the memories." Jesse couldn't seem to form a sentence.

"It seems she's stronger than we thought. Her brain keeps becoming stronger. We don't know how or why, but she's fighting death and it looks like she's winning." everyone let off a little laugh as relief filled their bodies. "I'm sorry, but I gotta get back." the nurse said then ran back to the room.

Jesse and his friends returned to the waiting room, hopeful for Beca's second chance. Stacie held Jesse's hand, occasionally squeezing it for reassurance, as his mom held him in her arms. Nobody wants this second chance for her more than Jesse does, I can't say that even her dad knows what Jesse's going through.

~Moments Later~

Jesse and the rest have been waiting for what seems like hours before finally, Dr. Stevens approaches them, baring news.

"We were able to revive her but it took a lot from her, she's resting now. You may go visit but don't wake her, she needs the sleep."

The group of people quickly but quietly piled into Beca's room. Jesse lacked behind to talk to the doctor. Not only has he saved him but he also saved the woman he loved, twice.

"Dr. Stevens, can I talk to you?" Jesse asked as the doctor grabbed the next patient's file. He nodded and led Jesse to an empty bench.

"I wanna thank you."

"You don't have to thank me, I'm just doing my job."

"No, I do. You saved the woman I love, twice. To me, you're more than a doctor. You're my friend."

"Jesse, as a doctor I've seen lots of people lose their loved ones. With you, I couldn't let that happen. I lost my wife to a wreck a few years ago and I couldn't let it happen again. You two are young, you still have your lives, the opportunity to make miracles, I couldn't let you lose it. I dedicated myself to your case, soaking up every piece of knowledge about these situations. I guess what I'm trying to say is, you've become a friend to me as well. Thank you." Jesse hugged him before heading to Beca's room.

*Beca's P.O.V.*

I know I should be sleeping but who needs sleep when you have Jesse? I've just been brought back from the dead, I want my boyfriend.

Everyone began to walk into my room and hug me. I quickly hugged them all while keeping my eyes locked on the door for Jesse. After everyone had been hugged they all talked.

"I'd hate to break up your conversation but, where's Jesse?" I asked.

"He was just be- oh, there he is." Stacie said as Jesse appeared in the doorway.

"Hey beautiful." Jesse said with a smile.

"Jesse." I said, jumping out of the bed and running to him. He caught me as I jumped into his arms and connected my lips to his. It felt like explosives igniting inside of me. The love I had for him from before had been combined with the redeveloped love and it felt amazing!

"You seem happy to see me." he said after separating our lips.

"Ecstatic." I said, hoping he'd reconnect his lips with mine.

"You want me to kiss you again?"

"Desperately." he chuckled as he pressed his tongue passed my lips and slowly moved his lips in sync with mine.

"Ok guys. We're all glad you have been reunited but we don't want to see you reconnect." Stacie broke us up.

I groaned as Jesse pulled away and slowly set me down. We rejoined the group but ignored them as we cuddled on the bed. Sitting cross legged over Jesse's crossed legs with our foreheads pressed together, we tuned everyone out and had our own conversation.

"Hey Beca." my dad interjected. I rolled my eyes out of annoyance as I looked at him. "You know you can wake up now."

"He's right, Bec." My confusion increased as my boyfriend agreed with my dad. Do they have some weird joke or understanding that I don't know about.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"It's time to wake up." Jesse said.

What the f*ck?!


	31. Reality

*Beca's P.O.V.* 

"Wake up, Beca." Jesse started saying it repetitively. The rest of them joined in and they continued until it started to feel like a dream. The world around me began to spin slowly, gradually getting faster and faster until I became nauseous. I closed my eyes and dropped backwards against the bed. The nausea disappeared as I slowly opened my eyes. Chloe and Chad were standing above me talking about something.

"Chloe." I said, my voice sounding raspy a  if I haven't used in a while. Chloe looked down and excitement filled her eyes.

"Beca!" she shrieked, splitting my eardrums. "Chad, get the others and a doctor." she ordered as I slowly pulled myself up. She grabbed my arm for support as I struggled to move. She wrapped me in a tight hug once I was sitting up. Pain shot through me and I pushed her away.

"Sorry. I forgot about your broken ribs." she apologized. I didn't quite comprehend what she had said as my attention was pulled the change in my surroundings.

I was in a dark hospital room, the only light source being a little lamp on the table by the bed. The table and floor was covered with huge bouquets and balloons. 'Get Well Soon' cards and boxes of chocolate were lazily tossed on a tray beside me. I was in an awful looking hospital gown with blood seeping through the bandages beneath it. There was an I.V. stuck in one arm and numerous hospital bracelets traveling up the other. There was breathing tube shoved up my nose and I felt so weak and shaky.

"What the h*ll?" before Chloe could speak, a large group of people I remember as my loved ones, came piling into the room, followed by a doctor.

" Ms. Mitchell, it's so nice to see you awake. How do you feel?"

"Ok, I guess. What's going on?" I asked.

"Beca, you were in a wreck. You've been in a coma for a month." the doctor casually explained.

"This is so weird." I muttered to myself but Chloe, sitting so close to me, heard it.

"What's weird?" she asked.

"Nothing. It's just, I had a dream like this. Almost exactly like this."

"Really?" the doctor asked, seeming genuinely interested. "Can you describe this dream a little bit more? It's quite possible that your friends' conversations wrote the script of your dream."

"Yeah, ok." I took a deep breath. "Umm, well I was in a coma after being in an awful wreck."

"Most likely modeled after the pain you were feeling."

"But when I woke from the coma, I had memory loss." the doctor interjected.

"That's one of the possibilities of waking up from comas. You're brain must have latched onto it when I mentioned it to your friends. Anything else?" I looked around the room in thought.

"Chloe and Chad had sex but she felt bad because he's my ex. Bumper developed a heart. Luke admitted his feelings for me. Benji and Amy, Stacie and Donald, Aubrey and Unicycle became couples. The Bellas won the Riff Off." I named off things that happened in my dream.

"All of that happened and we talked about it when we met up here." Chloe said.

"Ms. Mitchell, it appears that you were in fact dreaming about your friends words, adding pieces of your imagination along the way. This is really something."

"Great. Now that that's figured out, where's Jesse?" I asked when I noticed Jesse wasn't anywhere to be seen. The room fell completely silent. "Guys, why'd you all get quiet? Where's my boyfriend?" I asked again.

"Beca, did you dream about Jesse as well?" Chloe asked, she seemed to be suddenly bummed out.

"Yeah. He was the one who tried to get my memories back, never quitting even though I didn't remember him and I kept pushing him away. He finally succeeded in getting my memories back when I fell in love with him again and we, uh, well you know." I explained. Everyone avoided eye contact with me, even the doctor.

"Why? What happened?" A terrible thought flushed through my mind. "Did something happen to him?" Worry flooded me as they continued to avoid my question. 

"Guys! Tell me, did something happen?! Please!" I begged. They all looked at each other before Bumper finally spoke.

"Beca, I'm sorry." he started.  

"Sorry? God, this can't be good."

"Jesse was in the car with you when it flipped. Being the type of guy he is, he sacrificed himself to save you because he loves you. The damage done to him was too much." tears poured from my eyes as I quickly realized where this was headed.

"I'm so sorry but Jesse, he did not make it, Bec."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter has been written. I want you guys to tell me when you want it. Thank you!!


	32. The Final Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally here. Are you excited? I am. I just hope you like it.

*Beca's P.O.V.*

"He's dead?" I asked, barely able to choke out the awful words.

"I'm sorry, Beca. We did all we could." the doctor said.

"But, my dream. He was alive, he was-" 

"He was a figment of your imagination. You love him so it's natural that you make the hero in your dream." the doctor cut me off.

"But it seemed so real." I was crying but I held back the full force of my emotions.

"Dreams can sometimes seem real but they're as fake as One Direction' s music career." Chloe explained as she sat in the bed beside me and wrapped her arms around me.

"This can't be happening." I said before burying my face into Chloe's shoulder and letting it all out.

She held me and caressed my head as I cried. Crying did very little to ease the pain I was feeling so I decided to give into the sudden urge to scream. I screamed into Chloe's shoulder as my heart continued to shatter. She encouraged me to let it all out as I continued to scream at the top of my lungs. After countless minutes of screaming I started to feel better and I slowly calmed down though I couldn't completely stop crying.

"I didn't even get to tell him that I love him." the pain increased again as the words came out and I cried harder. 

"I know Beca, it's okay. Just let it out." And I did. No matter how much or how hard I tried, I couldn't stop crying. I loved Jesse more than anything and he's gone. 

"It feels like the freaking incredible Hulk is slowly crushing my heart."

"I know sweetie, it hurts when you lose a loved one." 

"No I mean it literally hurts." I said as a sudden pain filled my chest.

"I know. Broken hearts are the worst." she said but I ignored her as the pain became too much. I clamped my hands to my chest and pulled away from her as the pain increased.

I couldn't say or do anything as I glanced at every one of the terrified faces of my loved ones. The doctor came into my line of view and said something. He removed my hands from my chest and listened to my heart.

"She's going into cardiac arrest!" I heard him yell before I fell onto my back.

Suddenly, the pain disappeared and I was standing at the foot of the bed, facing the door. Everything seemed very different and as I slowly turned to face the bed, I realized why.

The doctor was turning off medical equipment as my loved ones surrounded the bedside, crying. There in the midst of their crying, laid the reason for the tears. Me.

"I'm sorry for your loss. I will call the funeral home and notify them immediately."

"Thank you." My dad said as he held my lifeless hand. By the way my fingers overlapped each other I could tell he was squeezing my hand.

"Doctor." Chloe stopped him before he could exit. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying and I just wanted to hug her. "Do you think we could bury Beca by Jesse? I think it's only right because they love each other more than anything." 

"That's a sweet thought. I'll be sure to mention it when I call the funeral home." the doctor answered, giving her a warm smile.

She thanked him then rejoined our group of friends. Just then, a bright light shone above me. No one else seemed to notice it so I got the feeling that it was the light. I looked into it. I expected to just see light but it was actually beautiful. It had this beauty that I've never seen before in my life. It's just so... I can't even explain it it's so beautiful.

Without thinking I slowly began walking toward it. Before stepping into it, I turned around to look at my friends one last time. I will never forget these people. They've each taken up residence in my heart and even in death I appreciate their love for me. They're the ones that taught me how to live after all of the horrible memories of childhood. They taught me how to love again and for that I will be eternally grateful. I love these people so much and, though as an angel I can watch over them, I will miss them.

So, with that last appreciative glance, I stepped into the light. I was immediately engulfed with the beauty of Heaven but there was one thing, well person, that stuck out.

"Hey million dollar baby." Jesse said with a huge smile on his face. The beautiful lighting of Heaven made my boyfriend look even more perfect.

"Jesse." I said his name, grateful that I get to see him again. 

"I've been waiting for you, weirdo." he held his arms out toward me and I ran into them. I immediately locked my lips to his.

"This is so beautiful." I said when we pulled away. He turned around and gazed at the beautiful scenery of our home.

"It is, isn't it? And it's ours. We can finally be together forever, without the stresses of living." He said as he held me close to him.

"Forever." I repeated. "I love the sound of that."

                    ~FIN~


End file.
